outside the formation

So just as there apparently was a big football game this past Sunday, there was a halftime show. A halftime show that like other halftime shows during some big, kind of important to some, football game had fans, lovers and haters galore. But the day before the big football game, with the halftime show one either loved or hated, there was a video that was dropped.

And as predicted, so much conversation caused because so much is here, so many layers of so many things that we can talk about.

Doncha love it when music, words, performance, art makes you think and then speak because you have just been provoked to think and speak.

I sure do! Formation does just that and I love it all…all the layers of provocation happening here.

But before we really could have a decent conversation about the music, the lyrics, the visuals, and all the layers that is Beyoncé’s Formation, it was the big football game and the halftime show.

Provoked again we were because one thing Super Bowl halftime shows always promise is controversy. Whether it is old, why-is-this-artist-still-relevant performances or deluges or power outages or breasts bared or left sharks, we are provoked and compelled to share that which we loved and hated about the Super Bowl halftime show.

This one?

This one, I loved in its rich homage to not only past Super Bowl halftime shows, but also to the rich, layered tapestry that is the Bay Area and some of it’s history in the last 50 years. Like the Super Bowls over the past 50 years, so much to try to cover…impossible to cover. Still honored all the same…San Francisco’s Summer of Love, a little bit of M.C. Hammer and Tower of Power uptown funk…oh and a little bit of the Black Panther Party because it’s not just the Super Bowl’s 50th birthday party.

And, yeah, we were provoked!

I don’t know about you but my social media timeline is literally flooded with so much discussion and proclamations about Beyoncé, Formation, the Black Panther Party, black women, black women’s hair…color, Right Wing pundits’ wish for more wholesome entertainment for a Super Bowl Halftime show …like I imagine The Rolling Stones, Prince or Justin Timberlake accidentally exposing Janet Jackson’s breast were…oh, and the truth that unless you are a woman of color, you have no right to any opinion on any of this.

Um…okay.

I get it because, yeah, I don’t get it.

Still all that this social media shit storm has stirred up and provoked, I can’t help but have a thought or two or more…not that you care but now you know. I also appreciate the fact that while sitting down with my 14 year old and helping him work on research for his Black History Month biography, we both dug deeper trying at the very least to learn more about Jim Crow laws, Brown v. The Board of Education, Selma, voting rights, The Black Panther Party, post Katrina New Orleans because although none of this is our personal history, our personal legacy, our personal reality it is a part of our country’s history, legacy and citizens like us reality, and why shouldn’t we be provoked and compelled to try to learn more, try to understand and begin to have a conversation about?

Pop star that she is, Queen Bey, diagnosed the current moment and caused an amazing, still divisive, but necessary conversation and a need to know and try to understand more…as artists often do.

Well done, Bey!

childing

You know, Mima, I think that grownups just need to share better…you know like kids know how to share their toys. Grownups need to share too.

BAM!

That’s right, this 7 year old schooled me on a truth that truthfully we sometimes forget when we are so busy adulting and grown-upping.

I need to have the opportunity to hang out with her more often because the wisdom she has to share…so much wisdom…as freely as a child shares their toys…you know, when their mom or dad make them share their toys.

Pretty much all the honest truth telling there is in the world is done by children

Oliver Wendell Holmes

squad weekend

Can I just put it out there to everyone who was pretending shock and surprise that there was some kind of game going on this weekend you fool no one. So what you didn’t care about the Super Bowl. No one cares!

Especially these three…and the two people whom I know who were DOWN THERE ON THE FIELD with Cold Play, Bruno and Queen Bey herself…and her magnificent fan.

Squad goals!

My friends, Harmony and Kaylin, crossed this off their bucket lists. There’s that.

Meanwhile,

we shall imagine that my darling daughter on the far right above, was really into the play on the green of the Phoenix Open. She knows that her dad really was. And she knows that she had a great time with her friends.

As for me…

my squad and I enjoyed a great day at the Sacramento Zoo.

I can’t even begin to describe how good it was to get some face time with my grand babies. Actually I could but then again…just trust that this day with my squad was so magically delicious…yeah even when we sang “It’s a small world after all” with all that was in us over and over and over again because that is what my squad does.

Saturday, Sunday and Monday were the perfect days for squads and their goals.

just the necessities

Add this to the No Matter How Old And Independent Your Children Are…or maybe think they are….They Will Still Need You files.

Abby had surgery today. Not a big deal, really. Except for her it was a big deal because she has never, ever had surgery…or an IV…ever.

Definitely a big deal then.

That’s what mom is for, I assure her. Mom is here to go with her to see the doctor pre-operatively, to help her ask the questions she needs to ask. Mom is there to help her figure out the scheduling so that she can be able to take off time from work and school during the busiest time of the year at work and the start of the semester. Mom, of course, will nag  remind her the night before to make sure all the consents are signed and that she has not and will not eat or drink anything after 8 PM. Actually she tells me that my nagging gentle reminding isn’t necessary at all because the pre-op instructions are literally in large font, bold-faced capital letters which most certainly tells her that she will likely die if she eats or drinks anything after 8 PM the night before.

The nurse in me tries to explain the rationale for nothing by mouth before a surgical procedure with anesthesia; but right now that’s not what she wants.

Fine.

I will be the mom. The mom who takes her to the ambulatory surgery center. The mom who waits until she is taken back into the OR to go get some coffee because how cruel would it be for me to be enjoying coffee when she has not eaten or drank anything since 8 PM last night? Random guy in the waiting room offers that he wouldn’t and couldn’t wait. I smile an think to myself that he is weak. More proof that males are truly, truly the weaker sex.

Waiting with her in recovery, I assure her that she looks just fine…my little girl looking small and pale and maybe a little scared all wrapped up in blankets. She might be a grown, young woman but right now she is my little girl; my little girl who needs me.

We get back to The Big Top where I get her settled and tucked in before I pick up her prescriptions.

What do you need?

My Baby, my cheetah blanket and my iPad.

The necessities, but of course.

Oh, and mom, because mom brings the ice packs and pain pills and antibiotics and all the favorite soft foods including a double order of miso soup from the favorite sushi place.

See?

No matter how grown and independent they are they still will need their mom.

Yeah, my heart is kind of full.

Don’t worry, Abby is just fine now.

I basically can’t live without

You know you did very well in gifting when your child shares with her nearly 10K followers on her business Instagram account  that which you gifted her.

Seriously, this bag is pretty awesome. All the more awesome is her Pinterest board because she really is hard to shop for sometimes. Of course, she gets it from her mama! But this last year I gifted her well. Thank you Pinterest and Hollie pinning all the things.

I just might need a bag like this because, like my darling daughter, and pretty much anyone, there is absolutely a bunch of shit I basically can’t live without.

  1. like my favorite face wash because the oil slick that is my face keeps waiting for the dry, flaky, crepe-y skin that is all part of the joy that is menopause. Sure it might feel like a certain body fluid, as someone I know compared it to, but it works very well for me…and that is all that matters.
  2. Sunscreen! All the sunscreen because ginger girl problems are real.
  3. This lip balm because more sunscreen and because I am always licking my lips so why bother with heavy lip color?
  4. My latest favorite Acoustic Chill playlist on Spotify because the drive to work is too stupid and too real

    Honestly!
  5. My old, well-worn, gray sweater I got from Costco years ago.
  6. Eyeglass cleaner because the glasses I wear every waking moment are always smudged and dirty and I just might be obsessed about cleaning those glasses of mine.
  7. This whiteboard calendar which just might be ridiculous if I were to carry it in a bag.

    Then again, I am not the only one living under The Big Top who basically can not live without it which is why everything and everyone on the calendar is color coded.
  8. My blackout curtains because I am Vampira, the night shift nurse.
  9. Coffee, nectar of all the nurses.
  10. My Amazon Prime account
  11. Dental floss. I blame my dentist for lecturing me about gum disease while deep cleaning for what has become an addiction.
  12. My cameras…Canon 60D and iPhone because I am indeed the Mamarazzi
  13. My favorite pen…don’t ask to borrow it…ever.
  14. My Moleskine notebook
  15. a bottle of Coke Zero, just one, for my lunch break at work
  16. My ASU ball cap to hide the epic bedhead when I take my son to school in the morning. Not that my son’s principal would ever call me out for the bedhead or the pajama pants I might be wearing (if I’m not wearing scrubs) because she isn’t nearly as judge-y as Kate Chisholm and because at least I am wearing a bra. There’s that!
  17. My Caffeine and Kilos ball cap for when I can’t find my ASU cap.
  18. A good bra.
  19. My water bottle. I blame Jodie and my membranes rupturing at 26 weeks while pregnant with her for my ALWAYS carrying a water bottle and ALWAYS drinking all the water.
  20. A Sharpie marker…you never know when you need to mark something permanently.
  21. Altoids, you are very welcome Day Shift!
  22. My Asics
  23. My favorite Scünci hair ties…they are discontinued which would explain why I am hoarding them.
  24. My favorite hair clip because thick hair can be a problem, even thinning, menopausal, thick hair. But hurray for the fact that my hair is long enough 20 months after my latest pixie cut to twist up into an undo with my favorite hair clip…it’s the little things that make me happiest, really.
  25. Scarves…I have no idea how many I have. That might be a problem. But who cares because I basically can’t live without them.

What shit that you basically can’t live without would you stuff that duffel bag with.