Happy Gotcha Day
Today marks a special day in our family castle. It is Daniel’s Gotcha day. If you are not familiar with Gotcha Day check this out: Gotcha Day.
I have shared a number of times our sweet boy’s precarious beginnings. His birthday is remembered in this castle to celebrate him and the miracle that he is. That day is all about him. Today is remembered and celebrated for the completion of our family.
I did meet Daniel right after he was born because I was the charge nurse in the NICU that night. The one image that is forever edged in my mind is how he fit perfectly in my hand from his head to his bum. No matter how many years go by and how much we both will change I will always have something concrete to remind me of that first encounter. Soon after that night, my encounters with him were greatly restricted as Daniel was a ward of the court and in protected custody. Our intent to pursue adopting him was known in my workplace but being he was the first patient there with such a complicated social history no one was quite sure how to handle contact with him so it was deferred to the court, who I learned later was not aware that he was denied positive, non-medical human contact for two months. This went against every instinct I had for him but I willingly submitted (most of the time) because I knew in my heart he was meant to be a part of us.
In February we began the necessary steps to be named his family. March 6 we got the call from a social worker who told us they may have a child for us. She then described Daniel to a “T”. I asked her if it was Baby Z. at GSH and she confirmed that it was him. Of course our answer was, “YES!” She set up a time for the next day for a home visit. It wasn’t official but we were one step closer.
The home visit couldn’t have been more normal. We, of course tried to present ourselves as the perfect family with an immaculate house, refreshments set out and tasteful music softly playing in the background rather than the tv droning as background noise. It was going very well so we thought until our three older children came home from school. There was 9th grade drama complete with the slamming of doors and school aged hijinks as after school snacks were prepared including standing on a kitchen counter with dirty athletic shoes and a spilled bottle of soda. Bill and I were dying inside thinking the social workers were probably going to report us rather than select us. The home visit was soon concluded with a promise of, “we’ll call you on Monday, the 11th) That was in four days!
Thankfully we had the distraction of the Solvang Century bike ride- century and half century, held in Solvang, Cal that weekend. I decided to celebrate my 40th birthday by riding in it and Bill and I decided it was the perfect excuse for a kidless getaway to one of our favorite parts of California.
We got back Monday anxious for THE phone call. It didn’t come until late in the afternoon. The social worker said we were the ones for daniel and would be cleared to visit and care for him in the NICU like one our own starting the next day…one more day! It seemed endless.
First thing next morning, Bill and I came to my workplace assuming a very different role for the first time. We were greeted with a hug and “Hi mommy!” from one of the neonatologists that I work with. We walked into the room where Daniel was and found that his name card had been changed to read “Daniel Quinn” the name EVERYONE knew we had chosen. The best rocker in the house was set up right by his bedside along with everything to set us up for kangaroo care. His nurse for the day didn’t hesitate to get him out of the isolette and place him wearing just a diaper, no bigger than a saltine cracker, against my bare chest. She then covered both of us with a warmed blanket and began securing his tubing for the ventilator, IV and feeding tube by taping them to my body. As she did this, Bill and I both began gently stroking his back and whispering hello to our little man, Daniel. He opened his eyes with his gaze fixed on Bill’s face as he snuggled against me. It was then that I swear I felt him heave a big sigh as if he was saying, “I’m home, finally!” I know that isn’t really possible because he was ventialot dependent at the time with the machine doing about half of his breathing for him but it certainly felt like he was home. It was then I softly sang this song to him:
I know you’ve heard the stories
But they all sound too good to be true
You’ve heard about a place called home
But there doesn’t seem to be one for you
So one mroe night you cry yourself to sleep
And drift off to a distant dreamWhere love takes you in
Everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
When love takes you home and says you belong here
The loneliness ends and a new life begins
When love takes you in
And somewhere while you’re sleeping
Someone else is dreaming tooCounting down the days until
They hold you close and say I love you
And like the rain that falls into the sea
In a moment what has been is lostIn what will be
When love takes you in everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
And this love will never let you go
There is nothing that could ever cause This love to lose its hold
When love takes you in everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
When love takes you homeAnd says you belong here
The loneliness ends and a new life begins
When love takes you inIt takes you in for good
When love takes you in
-Steven Curtis Chapman
Happy Gotcha Day sweet angel boy. Thank you for making our family circle complete,
Love, mommy