It’s not like I suddenly woke up this way


I am the mother of five.
Five kids.
No, I do not ascribe to a belief where one must be fruitfully multiplying all over the place at all times.
Yes, I do know where babies come from. I even know how and when to avoid baby-making and in spite of my “vast” knowledge, sometimes I couldn’t get knocked up no matter how hard we tried.
Still, I am the mother of five kids.
Well of course I am busy. So is my husband. We have known this long before total strangers at Target or school PTA meetings point this bit of news to us.
Oh yes, you can bet your bottom dollar that sometimes I wonder how the heck did I get here.
Still, I am the mother of five and as I celebrate more than two decades of being called mommy I find myself thinking on the kind of mommy I was and am.
Way back in the day of big hair and acid washed jeans, as mommy to Holly Austa I found myself a little awestruck and sometimes a little shocked. Somebody called me mommy… a lot…all the time.
When Zoë Elizabeth arrived on the scene I was confident mommy. I managed to nurture one of these creatures for 5 years without so much as a run to the ER. We won’t count the visit to the urgent care clinic when she swallowed a penny, or was it a nickle? Yes, I was confident in my skills as a mother. I could do this and in spite of me, they not only survived, they thrived.
I wobbled a little with the arrival of Abigael Rose. I was struggling with post-partum depression as well as the feeling of being off balance. Perhaps it was the chemical imbalance due to raging and receding hormones, but I found myself not doing so well with odd numbers. Mommy only has two hands and two eyes you know. Yet, I was amazed how my heart grew even more as I had no problem loving three daughters with equal intensity and somehow I managed the three girls with only two hands, two eyes and one, big heart.
With Jodie Grace Wynonna there was gratitude, lots of gratitude. I was the mommy to four, healthy children. The weeks and weeks and weeks I spent tethered to a terbutaline pump and my bed while pregnant with my golden-haired little girl as well as returning to the NICU after a lengthy maternity leave reminded me just how fortunate I was. For this I was grateful.
Then along came Daniel Quinn…
Becoming mommy to Daniel, and now, a mommy to five children taught me that I don’t have all the answers. I often don’t know what the hell I am doing and I can’t always rely on my skills and instincts as an experienced mommy. It’s funny how it seems that the more I think I know the less I realize that I really understand.

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body, with a big ol’ handprint on it!

My apologies to Elizabeth Stone for paraphrasing a little.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the mommy bloggers and the mommies of the bloggers!
Now get offline and enjoy the day!

Note: Yes that adorable handprint is Daniel’s and was on the front of a delightful Mother’s Day card he made for me at school.