So do you remember when I shared two truths and lie earlier this weekend?
Well today is the day I reveal the lie!
I know, I know. The excitement never stops here under the Big Top.
John Scalzi guesses that I am not being truthful about when I learned to swim.
Hutch a.k.a. Allen, guesses that I am not an accomplished tap dancer.
The truth is that I just don’t have Happy Feet. But I now live vicariously through my #4 daughter, Jodie, who is a tap dancing fool.
As far as the other truths:
Sadly so I did not learn how to swim until I was 18 in my senior year in high school. That’s right. I was the geek-tard in the shallow end of the pool through four years of PE in high school. Leaning to swim never seemed to be a priority in my family’s grand scheme of things when I was growing up. But thanks to the patience of my PE teacher, Mrs. Wiles at good old West Allegheny High, I did manage a barely passable freestyle stroke across the length of the school’s Olympic sized pool just in time for graduation.
Kids, this is why I dragged you all to those swimming lessons all these years. Someone needs to be able to swim well enough to save me!
Yes I did keep a black widow spider in a small plastic baby bottle in my freezer for about a year. WTH?
The story behind this ridiculous truth is Jodie discovered a black widow hanging out on our front porch one day. Since I am the mother-bear-protector here I had to do something. But I was afraid and my fear was irrational enough to think that if I tried to kill the black widow it just might retaliate.
People, I saw Arachnophobia!
So I decided the best course of action was to scoop it into one of Daniel’s baby bottles and cap it quickly(it’s not like he ever used them!).
Ooooo, that spider was pissed!
Of course I couldn’t release it after that!
Bill suggested, logically, when I called him at work, that I should just toss the the bottle and spider into our trash container and be done with it. Again, it wasn’t like Daniel would ever use the bottle. But my over-active imagination saw this cunning spider managing to remove the lid to the bottle and crawl out of the garbage toter; then, somehow get into our home and strike me while I slumber peacefully in my bed.
Worse happened in Arachnophobia!
So I stuck the bottle, angry spider and all in the freezer to wait for Bill to come home and save us all from the black widow spider in the Avent bottle.
Yeah, I forgot about the spider until a year later when I was cleaning out the freezer.
Then I tossed it because by then it was definitely dead.
Oh yeah! The excitement never ceases here under the Big Top!