He’s ba-ack…again…the third time wasn’t the charm…perhaps the fourth time will stick. Yes, the man boy who contributed the other half of Hazel’s amazing DNA is back in the picture.
Actually he resurfaced right after her second birthday…just 11 months since the last time he saw Hazel…to declare that yes, this time he really is ready…this time he really means it…this time he wants to be daddy because Hazel is HIS daughter.
We are incredibly patient or incredibly stupid because we agreed to give him a place to come and spend time with Hazel. We agreed because Holly understandably doesn’t trust him since he has cut out and ran off three times before in Hazel’s short life and because the dude lost his driver’s license thanks to a DUI and jail time. It’s been…well, it hasn’t been the funnest part of our circus life but you do what you have to do for the sake of your children and grandchildren, you know.
In the meantime, there has been some turmoil between Hazel’s parents and the Baby Daddy. We have chosen to stay out of it as much as possible and just be the grandparents. I can’t say that it has been easy. It hasn’t. It’s hard for us to trust someone when they say that they are here for the lifetime when they have cut and run three times before because this parenting thing is too hard. It’s hard for us to believe that, although he contributed half the DNA to create this amazing child known as Hazel Faye, he is worthy to now be her Daddy. She already has a Daddy. A real man who stepped up and stayed and committed even when it is hard…and what isn’t harder than raising a two year old? But we have tried.
But a recent email from Mr. Angry Eyes has pretty much called off any patience, any grace, any acceptance and any understanding that we might have had for him. He verbally attacks MY child and calls her the most despicable things all in the name of proving that he is deserving to lay claim on Hazel as HIS child and I’m supposed to welcome him into my home to spend time with Hazel?
Hmmmm….I don’t think so!
Dear (Mr. Angry Eyes, aka Baby Daddy,
It has come to our knowledge that you have said some horrid, despicable, disgusting things about the mother of YOUR child. Bill and I are thoroughly disgusted that you would say such things since a gentleman, a real man, would never, ever say such things about the woman who has given birth to his own child; the woman who accepted the responsibility to care for and love your child from the very beginning. Regardless of how you might feel about her or your perception of what was once your relationship with our child or what is transpiring between the two of you now with your serving Holly with papers we can not tolerate what you had said about OUR child.
Try to put yourself in our shoes, if you can. Imagine twenty years from now some immature boy, who imagines himself to be a man, saying THE EXACT SAME THINGS THAT YOU SAID ABOUT YOUR DAUGHTER. Not so wonderful, is it? How would you feel? What would you do???
Since you have for the third time come to the decision to step up, be a man, and accept the responsibility of being Hazel’s father, we have opened out home to you to come and visit and bond with her. We actually have been pleasantly surprised . We have done our level best to not interfere with what is your time with her. It has not been easy for any of us…you, Bill, myself, the rest of our family…yet we have tried to accept you and have tried to give you as much space and grace as we can. But it is still our home.
We love Hazel so much that we were willing to sacrifice our time, our home and give you the opportunity to be with her, get to know her and bond with her. And yet, this is how you repay us? You slap our acceptance, our welcome and our encouraging you to bond with your child aside like it is garbage by saying the god-awful things that you said about one of our children.
We are both so thoroughly disgusted with you for that. Frankly, both of us are so very hurt and outraged by you that we really feel like we could never look at your face again. It is because of that, that we have directed Holly to find some other place for your visits with Hazel until the Family Court mediator works out your issues. We will not tolerate anyone saying such terrible things about any of our children and we certainly will not welcome anyone like that in our home or in our presence who does verbally attack and malign any of our children. We accept that you are the person who fathered our grandchild but we do not have to accept you anywhere in our presence or near any of our children.
Sincerely,
The mother and father of the mother of your child
The only other thing I have to say is: dude, you better get yourself a lawyer because Hazel’s mother, you know, the one who gave birth to YOUR child, the one you called a whore has got herself a shark.
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
This last week under the Big Top has been a tremendous one. There has been much upheaval and change; moving of boxes and traveling miles and miles from home; drama and trauma; stress and worry. It comes with the territory of living with such a large circus. But, no, this last week had more than the usual share. To a new visitor to our circus it would seem to be that is all I write about…this dreary, stressful life. Some might conclude that is what life is like with a large family or life with a child with special developmental and medical needs. It’s then that I am offered the how-do-you-do-it-you-are-such-a-saint smile or the buck-up-and-count-your-blessings nudge. These offerings come from those who don’t know us.
But even in the midst of all the stuff that happens, that drives us to tears, we still can be goofy. We are goofy. There is always much silliness, laughter and joy.
