Daily Archives: October 31, 2010

30 days of truth for NaBloPoMo

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Someone tonight tried to tell me what I can and can not write about on my blog…as if they have a right to direct what my thoughts are, my feelings are. Perhaps if they took the time to consider my thoughts and my feelings then perhaps maybe they could dictate what I could write about here.

Oh hell no!

Because it is cheaper than therapy and (hopefully) an easy way to post every day during this NaBloPoMo and because I need a little bit of prompting since some people imagine that they can dictate what I can and can not post here on my own blog I am taking the 30 Days of Truth meme challenge here for the month of November.

Looking over each daily prompt something tells me that this is going to be hard…really hard. I also have a feeling that someone who imagines that they can control my content is going to discover more about me than they could ever imagine…perhaps then they will have a little more patience, a little more sensitivity and A LOT more understanding of me and all that I have done and do all the time for them…just saying…

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days.
Day 14 → A hero who has let you down.
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Stay tuned….

not a good day

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Everyone else is likely blogging and sharing tons of sugary-sweet, trick or treat, Halloween goodness.

Sigh!

Not me.

Just not a good day to be a mom. Not a good day to be a Mi-Ma and to be forced to share with a Baby Daddy by order of a court, or to share with other family and friends. Actually I didn’t get to share at all.

Yes, it hurt.

Yes, I cried.

Yes, she got pissed off at me because I am just being selfish and she made plans WEEKS ago. Plans that she failed to communicate to me when I shared in all her excitement making costumes and planning for today. She could have told me just yesterday when she was gluing rhinestones to her costume sitting at my kitchen table. She could have. She didn’t. I’m selfish. She’s pissed.

I get it’s hard for her. I get it. I’ve been here from the very beginning…when she was all ALONE, when Baby Daddy wasn’t there and the friends weren’t and there weren’t any other grandparents around. Yeah, I get it is so hard for her. I’ve been there. Every single day.

I don’t get why she can’t understand why I would still want just a small slice of time today too. Nor do I get why she can’t understand how much she has hurt me by not even bothering to tell me that we were not included today. Not at all.

It’s not a good day. Not a good day at all.