It is no secret that I am struggling again. The darkness of depression is something that seems to always follow me. I hate it. I actually fear it given my memories of my Mommy~Dearest’s struggles with bipolar disease that managed to irreparably damage the lives of her children. I read once somewhere that it was one of Marilyn Monroe’s greatest fears that she would be institutionalized with mental illness like her own mother. Here is where I confess that in the back of my mind is a fear just like that. I lived with madness, with mania, with debilitating depression and with a multitude of suicide attempts…as the child of the person suffering from all of this, how could I not fear, even just a little, that I would end up just like her?

Perhaps that makes me truly mad.

Nevertheless, I live with that secret fear. But I am determined to not fall victim to that fear of mine. I work hard to keep the overwhelming, debilitating sadness that I can’t control at bay. I have to. My children are the reason that commands me to.

And so I run…I run physically…mentally…emotionally. I run as fast as I can toward the light.

I run to always stay in the light.

The light is good. It casts away the dark shadows that trouble my heart, my soul and my mind. I may not always be able to run but in the light is where I shall always stay.

This week’s Focus 52 assignment is all about bringing on the light. Definitely go over there and see some great shots that capture light.