post-partum snark


Hurray for awards season! Time to let our clever snark fly on down the Red Carpet because who better to do that than those of us who cares (or doesn’t care) who wore who than us plain folk who likely will never, ever walk down a Red Carpet someday…

although I am counting on Jon Walkup getting nominated for an Academy Award and remembering that he promised me that I could come to cheer him on. Sure that honor should go to his mom, but I did ask…on Twitter no less.

But yes, the stars are walking the Red Carpet and we are calling them like we see them. I was cool with it until I saw on Facebook last night this photo of the lovely Claire Danes with the caption,

Six weeks postpartum. Fuck you, Claire Danes. Fuck you.

What followed was 326 comments of nothing but snark and post-partum haters hating new mother Claire Danes for being a skinny woman just six weeks after birthing her baby boy. Soon followed the arguments that it was easy for her with an army of nannies, doctors, nutritionists, cooks and personal trainers…an army of them…as well as the fact that she was breastfeeding and she is a skinny bitch anyway. Then the counter arguments joined in pointing out through proper diet and exercise before during and after pregnancy or good genes or (glob forbid!) hard work we too can return to our pre-pregnant body just six weeks after giving birth!

Um yeah!

Oh the mommy hate was hot! Of course the intent of the original poster was sarcasm and humor, very snarky humor, because we mommies love snarky humor (especially when it is not directed at us) but it very much back-fired and a whole lot of mommies did get their panties all up in a wad.

Surprised?

Really?

I would have loved to join in offering my own opinions. I’ve been pregnant a few times and have given birth a few times as well. I wanted to offer that although it didn’t take me six weeks to lose the pregnancy weight…because it took more than six weeks to put it on…I did bounce back.

Take that the haters who proclaimed that I was going to get fat after I happily announced each pregnancy!

And double take that for making the same declarations when my first born daughter announced her own pregnancies!

I almost offered that I did bounce back to my pre-pregnant self…but I didn’t…bounce back to my pre-pregnant self…because I WAS pregnant. How could my body possibly morph back into a body that never, ever was pregnant when I was pregnant? I did indeed regain my shape, albeit a little curvier, but no, I did not get fat…sorry. But I, just like EVERY SINGLE WOMAN WHO HAS EVER BEEN PREGNANT AND HAS GIVEN BIRTH, did not return to the woman I was physically, mentally or emotionally before I was pregnant. I was changed, as is every other woman…just as is beautiful, skinnier-than-me Claire Danes.

Hate her dress.

Wonder what was up with her hair.

But mothers let’s not hate on the other mothers…whether they have the imagined army of nannies, doctors, dieticians, cooks and personal trainers, or wear their size 3 before baby skinny jeans home from the hospital while they cradle their beautiful newborn in their skinny arms or find theirselves counting Weight Watchers Points and squeezing into spanx and lycra’d yoga pants six or twelve or fifteen years after they gave birth to their baby. We did something pretty phenomenal and amazing…

we are so crafty…

we made people…

and we have the gorgeous bodies…

skinny, fat, curvy, straight, muscular…

to prove it.

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One thought on “post-partum snark

  1. Loved this. SO true about the weight loss. After baby #1 was born I was back to my prebaby weight in six weeks (and I gained A LOT). Of course, my abdomen looked like an apron, but the scale was friendly.

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