living in a greenhouse


That is what we have been living in for a little less than two years. With the front of the house facing east and the back facing west and five large sky windows offering southern exposure, the Big Top was basically a greenhouse. It has always been, depending on the season, 10-30 degrees warmer inside. Perhaps a good thing in the winter but it has been absolutely, positively unbearable in the spring, the summer and the fall. Think about it. When it is say 110° outside, which it is often anytime June through September (and October last year!) it is overwhelming inside…if we didn’t have air conditioning…which we do but the ac pretty much would have to be on from 9 AM through 9 and even 10 PM just to maintain the indoor temperature in the 80s.

Yes, our PG & E bill during the late spring, summer and fall is insane.

Yes, many people are desperate for the light and the bright, especially during the winter months. But these people have not spent any length of time here under the Big Top greenhouse.

Truth be told, I hated it. I have hated it even more than the rental white walls that are poorly painted and the mis-matched painted baseboards and doors throughout the house. It is just too damn bright. Rarely does anyone ever curl up in one of our cozy leather chairs to read or just relax in our sitting room. It is just too bright and too hot. I could not and still have not hung any of my precious photos (there are a lot of photos) or any of the art that we have (mostly thanks to our talented niece). Are you kidding me? The constant sunshine streaming in through all those freaking windows from sunrise until sunset would destroy our precious, valuable-to-us treasures. So all those treasures, photos and objects d’art have remained packed away in the little cupboard under the stairs…the long-promised playhouse for Hazel, and now, Fallon.

A couple weeks ago I got to the point that I just could not go through another spring, summer or fall living in this greenhouse. Something had to be done, I told Bill and our landlord. So Bill and our landlord together decided that yes, I was right. Of course I was right. It was decided the least expensive, easiest and best option for us and our landlord was an energy saving tinted window film.

Bill and Ben together worked on this last weekend. I told them this was the best birthday gift! The difference is so dramatic.

And so very much appreciated these last couple of March days, before the official start of spring, with bright, sunshine-y highs in the 80s. The Big Top has remained a comfortable 70°!

I KNOW!!!

Buh-bye greenhouse effect!

As for me, I have spent the last two afternoons curled up in one of my cozy, comfortable sitting room chairs reading…at four-freakin-o’clock in the afternoon!

Best.

Birthday.

Gift.

a tale of three trees


This week, finally, our Christmas wreath has been taken off the front door. The garland and lights that decked our staircase and fireplace mantle have been removed. The ornaments, stocking, candles, mistletoe and all other Christmas treasures that we have collected over the years have all been carefully packed up and put away. All except for three bare trees. Which brings to mind the question: if a Christmas tree, or two or more stands naked and bare under the Big Top  the end of January will anyone notice?

The answer is no.

Well, at least anyone who lives here under the Big Top won’t notice. At least they have not commented on this. No “gee, it looks so empty and bare without all the Christmas decorations” or “wow, mom, you put away all the Christmas decorations” or even “so when are ‘WE’ going to take down and put away the Christmas trees?” Of course no circus clown of mine would wonder when are “WE” going to take down the Christmas trees because my circus act seems to believe that it is elves and fairies and unicorns who, every December without fail, unpack and put up all the Christmas crazy for this circus’ enjoyment. And then, once the New Year has been rung in, the magical elves and fairies and unicorns come back to carefully pack away all the Christmas crazy.

It’s a wonderful thing really.

Not really.

At least the elves and fairies and unicorns…I…don’t think so.

So three Christmas trees remain here under the Big Top and no one seems to notice nor care. Somehow that seems to make these bare trees look all the more sad to me.

still Christmas


Today, finally, everyone is back to work and school and I am back to a full juggling schedule and yet Christmas is still here under the Big Top! Well, at least the decor is still here.

Aren’t there supposed to be elves or fairies or unicorns that are supposed to be taking this stuff down and packing it all away for another Christmas season to come? Oh wait. That would be me, myself and I…the same elves and fairies and unicorns who put up all of this Christmas crazy…and to think that I didn’t put it all up because of toddling grandbabies eager to check out old, treasured breakables and the fact that there seemed to be no clowns willing to help out with the holiday trimming of this circus tent. Of course they totally noticed that not all the Christmas crazy was out and on display and they sure did complain comment about it explaining that they didn’t offer to help because they know how much I love doing all the decorating…it must be because I am some kind of Christmas decorating elf, fairy or unicorn.

Yeah.

Um, no.

And so now Christmas still remains here under the Big Top because while the majority of this circus act has enjoyed a great holiday break off from school and extended 4-5 day weekends off for Christmas and New Year’s they certainly couldn’t help take down and pack this stuff away…because that is something the elves and fairies and unicorns do.

Ugh!

I wonder how long I can leave all of this stuff up before someone notices or complains or…dare I dare to dream?…offer to help pack up and put Christmas away.

it’s not like we exchanged marriage vows


Now when I said that my word for 2013 was EMBRACE I certainly did not mean, dear 2013, to throw as much stinky crap at me as you could in the FIRST FREAKING WEEK!

HONESTLY!

Sickies, cash flow problems, cars breaking down right after the holidays creating more cash flow problems with bills due NOW, family drama and trauma, more sickies with snot…lots of snot and fevers and aches and pains and coughing and headaches, tears…a lot of tears, throw in a snooty customer service rep from a certain online retail site who points out to you after THEY cancel an order that, according to email from them, was being shipped to you, that perhaps if you had ordered the combat boots you need back in October or November when they carried a FULL AND COMPLETE inventory you would have the combat boots you desperately need for your dancer’s competition dance as if you actually had KNOWN what faux combat boots your dancer would need back before the holidays…

:::SNORT!::::

AS IF INDEED!

Seriously 2013?

It’s not like we exchanged marriage vows promising all kinds of crazy love through sickness and bad times and poor times and frustrating times…

Er…did we?

At least I don’t think we did.

You know that I am already married, right? Celebrating THIRTY YEARS with my darling husband this May.

I KNOW!

I still intend to honor my plan to EMBRACE this year but hey, 2013, lighten up just a little bit…please. At least while I am under the influence of this Dayquil/Nyquil cocktail.

Love and hugs,

Me.

not alone


Have to say that she wasn’t the only one who was having a bad day.

It was a horrible, no good, very bad day.

It really was. At least we were in it together. But at the end of the day, I could promise her that tomorrow would be a different day and, hopefully, a better day. It had to be.

Do you think she believes me?