what he said


Found this today and all I can say is yes…hell yes.

I no longer have patience for certain things, not because I’ve become arrogant, but simply because I reached a point in my life where I do not want to waste more time with what displeases me or hurts me. I have no patience for cynicism, excessive criticism and demands of any nature. I lost the will to please those who do not like me, to love those who do not love me and to smile at those who do not want to smile at me. I no longer spend a single minute on those who lie or want to manipulate. I decided not to coexist anymore with pretense, hypocrisy, dishonesty and cheap praise. I do not tolerate selective erudition nor academic arrogance. I do not adjust either to popular gossiping. I hate conflict and comparisons. I believe in a world of opposites and that’s why I avoid people with rigid and inflexible personalities. In friendship I dislike the lack of loyalty and betrayal. I do not get along with those who do not know how to give a compliment or a word of encouragement. Exaggerations bore me and I have difficulty accepting those who do not like animals. And on top of everything I have no patience for anyone who does not deserve my patience. ~Jose Micard Teixeira

And now the hard part, to take those words and make them mine because…yeah.


From Ripon’s Annual Color The Skies, 2014

my 100% track record


So far…yes, this.

Won’t lie, of late it has been wretchedly hard to maintain that 100% track record of mine. Thank goodness for the kind of people who do more than just offer the trite “let me know if I can help” bullshit then avoid you like the plague because that’s what happens with people in your circles when shit happens. It’s okay. I understand. I promise you that I’m not contagious.

Meanwhile, thank you Kari, Mike, Tori, Grace, Craig, Kim, Erika, Jenn and Brenda for little messages and reminders to hang in there. Thank you.

Thank you also my darling husband for just being patient and kind because more than anything that is what I need right now. Wait, I need hugs. I need lots of hugs. Thank you and thank goodness for Daniel and for Hollie sending Hazel and Fallon with hugs. Yeah, I know Hazel might be using these opportunities to get out of homework because 1st grade life is hard and Fallon is absolutely using the opportunity to get out of naps but those are mighty fine hugs and something to look forward to the next day, tomorrow, because yeah today is almost done.

because when you blog it’s never too late to join the Selfiebration


Up until a few days ago, I was quite certain that once again I would not be attending BlogHer even if it is thisclose to me. Disappointed? Yes. But it’s reality I told myself. Then opportunity came along and, well, I’m going!

Ten years of BlogHer. Ten years of bloggers and writers everywhere putting ourselves out there laid bare, exposed for the interwebs to look at, examine, identify with, judge. It’s been ten years of me putting my self out there on this here blog. How appropriate that I will join in on the #Selfiebration as we celebrate and reflect a little on what it is that we do…why we do it…why we hit publish every time that we do. We all have our reasons. So many of the reasons here I identify with so much.

Before Adventures in Juggling, I never really had a voice…a voice that wasn’t shouted down or talked over or told to just be quiet. Ten years of expressing myself and saying the things out loud here that I could never say anywhere has been a good thing…a very good thing. I’ve weathered the storms of raising an angry teen…and a few more teens, perhaps just as angry or perhaps not. I’ve appreciated the good in my life as a juggling mom. I’ve worked through the tears and fears and frustrations and the incredible loneliness of caring for and raising a beautiful child whose daily special needs required even more intensive parental care if not more hours in the 24 hour day. I’ve even have survived peri-menopause and now menopause without going completely hormonal on the entire world…especially my circus and family. You who tried to shout me down, talked over me or flat out told me to be quiet should be thankful…really.

And with that voice that I found I also found community, a community with whom I look forward to re-connecting with, hugging on, encouraging and inspiring this weekend.

I can’t wait!

invisible in a bikini


Summer is most definitely here and the time is right to bare a little skin at the beach, at the pool, at the water park, at the lake and even on the Dirty Delta because it’s hot, we want to get wet and because it’s fun.

It is fun.

Well, for the body confident, the tan, the fit, the young.

If you listen to women’s and girls’ conversations about swimsuits it would seem that it isn’t fun at all. At one point in all of our lives we have had that moment of anxiety and self-loathing as we regarded ourselves in a harshly lit dressing room dressed in the bikini that looked perfect on the rack. “What happened?“, we wonder, as we regard every real and imagined imperfection, dimple, roll, sag, stretch mark perfectly highlighted in the most non-flattering light possible as we stand before the most unforgiving (and likely angled) mirror.

And while most of us fretted, stressed, starved, covered up and berated ourselves for not having the confidence to rock that perfect two piece swimsuit there are women all over the interwebs and in the news right now who are wearing that bikini and writing about it or posting pictures of it: a fat woman, another plus sized woman, an insulin pump dependent diabetic beauty queen, a woman living with Crohn’s Disease and a colostomy.

Oh, and a 52 year old woman wore a bikini poolside every day last week while staying in Las Vegas with two of her daughters and her grand daughters.

No one noticed. No one cared. No, not because I am over 50 and everyone knows that women of a certain age are indeed invisible once they are women of a certain age. No one noticed because everyone was too busy having fun enjoying that perfect pool, with their perfect, over-priced, poolside refreshments on a perfect sunshine-y day. I doubt anyone could see my birth date stamped on my ass indicating that I should not be wearing that bikini…including some of the men I caught briefly glancing at my ass as I walked by. Even if they could, I doubt anyone really cared. Nor did they care that my exposed, rounded belly once carried four of my five babies…at least no one asked. And although they might have noticed the blinding paleness of my SPF 50 coated body, no one stopped me demanding that I cover up right now. No one really cared and neither did I.

I wore a bikini every day while in Vegas last week because I wanted to…because I can…because I have limited time on this Earth to feel the sun on my skin (protected by sunscreen of course)…because the weather and that gorgeous pool pretty much said so.

I’ve got 99 problems


…but the drive home ain’t one of them!

We are home, after an 11 hour drive, home from Vegas. According to navigation, it should have been an 8+ hour drive…you know, without traffic, road work, potty training 2 year olds and distractions like that.

We made a few stops.

Stopping in Jean, Nevada, we discovered where old slot machines go to die. They comp gas but they don’t sell Dramamine…for your information. Goldfish crackers, plenty of water, perhaps a little bit of antihistamines and frequent stops along the way helped deal with that motion sickness problem. Frequent stops including a stop at the Phillip S. Raines Rest Stop near Tulare. When I learned last year that my photograph was part of the display at this rest stop, I knew that I had to stop there and see it for myself in all of it’s glory.

There it is!

Courtesy of me!

Yeah, I’m kind of nerdy in my excitement over seeing my work on display at a rest stop on CA99 just south of Tulare, California.

So glad we stopped.