Category Archives: awkward

overheard at the dance competition #209

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“Why are those little kids in the dance down?” – huffs a random overly made up dance mom as she rolls her eyes.

“My little girl is right there up on that stage in the dance down.” – my daughter pointing out her little girl, Hazel Faye.

Be careful judge-y (dance) moms what you say about other moms kids. You never know, that kid’s mom might be standing right next to you.

Talk about your awkward.

Our dance studio’s policy is every member of the competition team participates in any competition’s dance down where dancers are crowded onto a stage and must learn a routine, new to them, in a matter of minutes and then dance said routine impressing the judges with their dancing skills and ability to learn said routine in a matter of minutes. The kids’ dance coach believes that it is a good experience for her dancers. They learn how to quickly pick up choreography, how to present themselves in front of the panel of judges and they build up confidence in their own selves and their abilities…whether they are on stage at a Broadway cattle call or someday, no where near a stage, in front of a college recruiter or at a job interview...in a safe, encouraging environment where everyone  is applauded and encouraged and given recognition for their efforts.

This is why, dance mom with way too much makeup and teased out hair. But should you still doubt how much a little kid like this could really learn participating in such an event with kids twice her age may I present to you…

You participate in enough of these dance downs, you can easily learn a dance in just a couple of minutes, on a crowded stage and have the confidence to do exactly what you dance teacher has taught you…get out in front, do the work and impress the hell out of those judges.

Judges’ awards, ribbons, medals and trophies aside, Jodie tells me that the very best thing about this last weekend’s dance competition was the encouragement and praise she received from her competitors, other studio owners, teachers and choreographers.

Me, I can’t wait to see where this ability and confidence will take her…on stage and off.

that awkward moment…

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Having been a somewhat shy and definitely awkward person most of my life I have had more than my fair share of awkward moments…

Waaa-aaay more than my fair share!

My most recent bugged the hell out of a few people…or perhaps they couldn’t see the humor in what I had to say. Then again my darling husband has often warned me that I am lousy at telling jokes. It’s the awkward in me. But yes, I insulted a few people…dare I say pissed off perhaps one. I’m only guessing given the reaction of others in our circles.

It was awkward.

Even more awkward was when someone reached out to me, in a gesture of friendship during that awkward moment of mine. Willingly, I accepted because we move in the same circle. Why not accept their friendship? This is what people do sometimes, you know when they move in the same circles and share common interests or activities.

Right?

Of course.

Usually.

Until, after reaching out with an offer of friendship they then proceed to do something completely unexpected. Um, actually it was kind of outrageous and downright rude. Unless it is cool to publicly attack your child. Yes, YOUR child. Oh and cast judgment on parenting skills…because of their obvious qualifications.

I was once a super parenting expert too…before I had children and when Hollie was a small one. I knew EXACTLY how other people should be caring for their children…especially if I didn’t know them very well. Then I got busy raising my five children, weathering through adolescence and hormones times FOUR and seeing three make it to adulthood. Yeah, I was an expert too uniquely qualified like that until shit got real.
Humbling…very humbling.
That’s Karma.
But now it’s gratifying. Really gratifying. Especially when I see my kids show integrity, honesty and loyalty when others aren’t looking…like one did that ultimately led to my bad joke that started all of this awkwardness.

Sorry, my snark is showing just a little.

What can I say? That was a pretty awkward moment. A REALLY awkward moment.

It gets you to thinking late at night…

wondering…

What the hell was your motivation when you were “making friends” with me?

How did you even know about that awkward attempt at humor? Sure it was public but you weren’t there to witness my attempt at humor. You came after the fact…after you extended your hand in friendship

No, I won’t judge whatever motivated you. I won’t even judge you for what you imagined was a justified public attack against MY child. After all you did reach out to apologize to her. Thank you for that.

I will wonder why you couldn’t just ask me what the hell was my problem joking around like that? Calling me out, not my child, for the thing that I said would likely be acceptable because you seek to back up someone we both know. Someone whom we both regard as a friend…a GOOD friend.

Then I will ponder why those who might have been hurt and pissed couldn’t just come to me on their own because I thought that we were friends. We certainly have been pretty close the last eight years. We’ve done business together for those eight years…good business. We’ve grown close, shared laughter and tears and confidences…you know, the way friends do.People who have been that close for that long certainly could call on one another when such awkwardness happens…and possibly hurts.

Awkward.

truth be told

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The conversation starts this way, “Have I done something to upset you or piss you off, because you hardly ever say hello and talk to me? What’s going on?”

So, do I tell her the truth? I mean, does she really want to hear what’s on my mind? It’s not too pretty. Which is why I have withdrawn a little…okay, a lot.

My attempt to protect others from the cra-cra that sometimes settles inside of me is, as usual, misconstrued as that I am mad at someone…think I’m better than someone….just like Jr. High. Except for the fact that no one really thought that of me back when I was in Jr. High…or High School. Living in a small town and a mom who liked to manically over share every weekend at the local beer garden pretty much made my withdrawal seem okay…and probably added to the sympathy for those poor kids of hers.

Hmmm…wondering here if I am more like Mommy Dearest than I want to admit that I am. No, not the bipolar disorder…the over sharing…then again I don’t have a local beer garden to do that in. There just isn’t such a thing here in my own small town. Yeah, there’s bars but not like back home…where you can actually bring a baby, or the kids into the bar, er, beer garden/tavern…to eat dinner while enjoying second-hand smoke. and awkward conversations with your parents tipsy friends.

My kids are so deprived and sheltered.

Lucky!

Oh wait, I’m off topic aren’t I?

Back to Jr. High…as in this is so like Jr. High girl drama.

Ugh!

When I was in college someone confronted me like this accusing me of thinking I was better than her and everyone else in our clinical group. Bewildered, I tried to explain that all I was doing was just keeping my head down while trying to get through the nursing program. My anxieties and demons had SO MUCH FUN with me back then convincing me that I wasn’t good enough, smart enough, strong enough. I was double wrapped in that cocoon then!

No, I’m not mad at her. She hasn’t done anything to me to make me mad at her. That is what I tell her while I roll my eyes inside my mind. It is indeed true. She hasn’t done anything…to me. I just need to be curled up in my little cocoon for just a little while. It’s why I hang on to it like I do…you know, for those times when my own anxieties and demons show up…and to protect myself from the crazy shit the drama queens who can’t move past Jr. High often try to stir up.

confirmed: I still haz what’s up

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According to the Facebook comment on my daughter’s wall from an old friend of mine I do still have “what’s up”

What’s up with that you wonder?

The following conversation took place at a gas station near the Big Top.

Biker Dude: (giving me a wink and a smile) Hey there. What’s up?

Me: (feeling a little awkward but hey, the world needs more kindness so I smile back) Doing just fine. How are you today?

Biker Dude: Heading into work

Me: Well at least it is a great day to ride.

Biker Dude: It sure is. I couldn’t ask for more, could I?

Me: No I guess not. (awkward feeling is returning as he keeps smiling at me)

Biker Dude: So what is NICURN? (he points at my license plate)

Me: A NICU RN?

Biker Dude: What’s that?

Me: A nurse who works in an intensive care unit.

Biker Dude: (still smiling) That’s all right. Is that what you do?

Me: Yes sir.

Why is this quick stop to pump gas taking so long I wonder? Done! At last!

Me: Well, you have a great day…

Biker Dude: You too. Hey, maybe I’ll get lucky and see you in the ER sometime.

Me: Oh goodness! I hope not!

Biker Dude: (laughs) Well you know what they say there are only two kinds of bikers: the ones who fall down and the ones who have fallen down.

Me: (smiling and waving as I get in the car)

Holly: Go Mom!

Me: Oh my gawd! That was so awkward.

Of course Holly puts up on Facebook that I just got hit on. And then that is when my old friend warns that my darling husband needs to watch out because I still have what’s up. What is that?

Whatever it is, it is still all kinds of awkward to me. Sorry all you Sons of Anarchy fans, including my darling husband, I’m just not into biker dudes…especially biker dudes that flirt with me while my kid and grandkid are in the car. All around Hugh Jackman types or Hugh Jackman himself though…

Hmmm….

In all seriousness, it is nice to be occasionally be noticed in that flirty kind of way but not when my kids are around. I’m not that kind of MILF.

nerdy that way

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Go ahead and judge me. I don’t care. I spent my Friday evening and Saturday re-reading this book before I see the end of it all in the theater.

So what? I’m nerdy that way. So is my darling husband who is now re-reading it since I (finally) handed it over.

He’s kind of nerdy too.

Which probably explains why we get along so well since we are both such awkward nerds sometimes.

And yet I really, really want to read this book like soon.

Yes, I confess those were some of the worst years of my life…as they were for pretty much everyone else. I have this theory. Pick up any middle school/junior high school yearbook. Even the most gorgeous, perfect people were completely awkward, dare I say, nerdy then. To which then follows the potential for the middle school years being the worst years of one’s life. It is being sold as a “children’s book” but I still really want to read it.

Oh look! There is a Kindle version.

Yeah, I’m nerdy that way.