Category Archives: baby daddy

mischief managed

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It was a great day and night of Halloween hijinks, joy and mischief.

Lumpy Space Princess announced that she is, indeed, pregnant, not just lumpy; and we were just as surprised over her announcement as we are about Jessica Simpson’s happy “surprise” announcement. But the Lumpy Space Princess one-upped Jessica because she announced that today is her last day of work…let the maternity leave commence. Whoo-hoo!!

Meanwhile, it was time to carve Hazel’s jack-o-lantern. Scary eyes and a happy smile is what she asked for.

So be it.

And while they waited for the trick treating hour, my boys made spectaacles of themselves.

While Hazel burned off some pent up energy and excitement with some heavy lifting.

At last it was time to put the costumes on and get ready!

Princess Rapunzel

Harry.

Sister…Waldo.

And time to practice.

And pose for an awkward family portrait.

Oh yeah. Awkward!

FINALLY! It is time!

The Wizard and the Princess covered the whole neighborhood and came home with heavy bags full of treats. Treats like these:

We tossed the Easter candy and Sister Ben took the tract for the good sister’s own personal stash…I think.

Mischief managed.

Happy Halloween/Reformation Day and Happy All Saints Day one and all!

:::snort!:::

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So guess who decided that the best way to decorate a laptop is to color it…with a sharpie marker…all over the monitor screen of said laptop?

This girl!

She is so gosh darn bold with her creativity.

I’m desperately stifling that laugh because, of course, it wasn’t my laptop or her Mommy and Daddy’s computer but because it was her Baby Daddy’s laptop.

Oops!

I think that I might have pulled a muscle stifling a laugh as she calmly explained to me that she must never, ever color or draw on a computer screen…ever.

I secretly high-fived her when Holly and Ben weren’t looking…

KIDDING!

BEWARE of the red-headed sperm!

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By now most have heard the news of the world’s largest sperm bank turning away donors who just so happen to be redheads. At first glance when I read this story I did gasp in disbelief. I mean, I’m a ginger…what’s not to love about me?

Right?

But it also initially disturbed me because of a theory circulating a few years back that redheads were doomed to soon be extinct. But then , thankfully, common sense prevailed.

Yes, we gingers are rare.

We do kind of stand out in the crowd and not just because of our fiery crown. Thomas Jefferson, Gen. George Custer, Winston Churchill, Elizabeth I, Vincent Van Gogh, Charles Darwin, Shaun White, Prince Harry, Conan O’Brien, Emma Stone, Julianne Moore, Susan Sarandon, Christina Hendricks and Nicole Kidman are just a few who come to mind.

True, the red hair is considered to be a recessive trait floating around in the gene pool but then I look at my own family.

In spite of my darling husband’s olive tone complexion and the dark brown hair that he once had, ginger, strawberry blonde and blonde prevailed. Quoting the words of the doctor who delivered these babies, “Go figure! You must have some powerful DNA!”

I do.

It is some pretty powerful stuff. Hazel’s Baby-Daddy was very surprised to realize that.

The very first time he held Hazel and beheld her strawberry-blonde fuzzy head he questioned how could she be so fair if her father had black hair and dark brown eyes. It’s a mystery, I agreed with him. Then I asked him if he ever really took a good look at Bill, Holly and the rest of this circus. Realization slowly came across his face.  Of course two years later he still needed a paternity test to verify the fact that yes he was the Baby-Daddy but the ginger DNA somehow beat out his and helped to create a most delightful, blue-eyed, strawberry-blonde hair child.

What’s not to love about her?

So in spite of Cryos’ decision to turn away ginger donors, we redheads will continue to prevail and thrive. We might represent 1-2% of the world’s human population but we are a a strong lot.

Ginger Power Forever!

from delightful to detestable

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How could an afternoon with this Hazey -Face be anything but delightful?

I’m not saying it can’t be exhausting because she is a three year old…with three year old logic.

Yeah.

Today’s debate was over why we must wear pants because we are not the People of Walmart. Of course because I mentioned Walmart, the girl now wants to go to Walmart…pants or no pants.

Exhausting yes, still she is oh so delightful. Our pants versus no pants debate is tabled as she suddenly bursts out into a song and dance.

She is so much like her Mi-Ma sometimes!

Using her princess sippy cup as a microphone, she jumps up, begins to dance and belts out…

I fro my hands up in the air sometimes
Sayin’ EGGO
EGGO!
I wanna dance and dance all night
Sayin’ EGGO!
Sayin’ EGGO!

Cuz we rock this club
And we dance all night
Like it’s DYNOMITE!

Who knew that Taio Cruz got the lyrics wrong on his own hit? He did. Silly Taio!

Hazel agrees giggling, “Yeah, silly Taio!”

See? It’s all nothing but delightful…pants or no pants. I love days like this with my Hazey -Face.

Then there is a knock at the door. It’s Friday afternoon so I know that it is Baby Daddy picking up his child for his weekend.

Yee!

And suddenly all happiness, joy and delight is sucked out of the room just like when the Dementors show up in any installment of Harry Potter.

Sigh!

He and I are polite, cordial, albeit stiff. I really can’t think of anything nice to say to him so I say very little at all. Instead I direct my attention to Hazel telling her to go get her shoes on because it is time to go. She runs into the other room and sits down on the sofa and starts to cry. I follow in after her and ask her what is wrong. With tears quietly rolling down her sweet cheeks, she tells me that she doesn’t want to go with him. I hug her and promise her that I know she is going to do all kinds of fun things this weekend and then we will get to see each other again Sunday night…whoo-hoo!

I’m such a lousy cheerleader.

She doesn’t believe me because I am a lousy cheerleader. But with a heavy sigh, she puts on her shoes, wipes her tears off her cheeks and walks slowly back towards Jeff. With one last hug, kiss, butterfly kiss and Eskimo kiss good-bye she is out the door walking slowly beside her Baby Daddy to his car.

I hate this. I hate it a lot. After one year of forced visitation and the poor child STILL doesn’t want to go. Hey San Joaquin County Family Court…WINNING! Hazel STILL doesn’t want to be with this man who insists to her that he is her ONLY daddy. Nothing anyone in her life says or does convinces her that this is a good thing; that she is the luckiest little girl ever to have TWO daddies who love her so much. She STILL doesn’t want to be with him. I hate how he steals her joy so quickly like that. Fighting back my tears I think to myself,

…how the hell does my daughter do this…how the hell does any single parent who shares custody or deals with visitation do this?…every weekend…or every other weekend…or whenever???…

I tell myself that as soon as she is out of sight she is having fun, laughing and singing her heart out. I tell myself it is just like when I would drop my own children at daycare or preschool when they were small. I try really hard to convince myself of this.

Then I let the tears fall.

still blaming it on the onions or a tale of two daddies

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Remember when I wrote about how I find myself crying while prepping dinner and having my heart ripped from my chest at the same time? I blamed it on the onions because all the tears in the world wasn’t going to change what was and remains a shitty situation. But the mediator is certain in her heart of hearts that it will work…it worked for her and her husband’s ex…they are now BFFs who share family vacations together…so it should follow that what worked for her family will work for every broken family that appears before her in San Joaquin County Family Court….right?

As long as we all keep our eyes focused on why we are all here and why we do what we do.

That’s right.

It’s all about the child. The child who is surrounded by so many people who do love her. I promised her mother 3½ years ago when she found herself alone and pregnant that her child would always be surrounded by family who loves her and would do just about anything for her. I had no idea that her circle of love would include a great-great grandmother, four great-grandparents, four grandmothers, three grandfathers, her mommy and daddy, her biological father and so many aunties and uncles to constantly shower her with love and hugs and kisses. Hazel is one lucky and blessed child…truly. One would imagine that with such a huge Bonus Family that we would all be able to join hands and surround Hazel with love because, after all, we do have a moral obligation to put our own interests aside for the sake of our child.

But then again we are all only human. Aren’t we? It’s easier than we imagined to lose sight of what is important. We become competitive and sometimes vindictive because it is our weekend and how could we possibly deign to share this child with the rest of her family?

They have her all week!
Who cares if she is so excited about her very first dance recital with a pretty, pretty costume complete with gloves and a hat and shiny new tap shoes?
Who cares if she has been counting down the days the last two weeks until she can finally perform her tap dance on the big stage in the big theater in front of her whole family?
Who cares if this dance recital has been talked about in front of the mediator and agreed upon for months?
It’s our court-ordered weekend…The other parents are taking her to Disneyland in the next month…
It’s not about what this child wants or has worked hard for or what she has looked forward to sharing with everyone in her huge family circle. It’s all about the fact that this is not the other’s weekend.

That’s what it is all about…at least it seemed to be that way when Hazel’s biological father made the eleventh hour decision to refuse to allow Hazel to dance at her dance recital this weekend. His F-bomb laced reasoning to Holly made it clear that it is all about someone but it isn’t about the child.

Yeah. He is just so awesome.

At least I thought so as I listened to my own daughter’s choked sobs when she told me.

Yeah, I was chopping virtual onions. How else can I explain my own tears of pain for my child…for my grandchild?

A lot of frantic negotiating took place. Hazel’s Daddy even offered giving up his ticket to the recital so that Baby Daddy could go. But the owner of the dance studio stepped in because, unfortunately, she has had more than her fair share of dealing with badly behaved Baby Daddies. Baby Daddy reluctantly agreed to allow Hazel to dance in her pretty, pretty costume on the big stage this weekend. He bought tickets for his family and himself. And now tomorrow, God willing, Hazel will dance on the big stage in front of a sold out theater including her huge family circle including her two daddies.

her Daddy

and the Baby Daddy

Happy Father’s Day one and all…although I must confess that I only express it sincerely from the depths of my heart to one of you. Thank you Ben for being the daddy who gets it, who truly has this child’s best interests, needs and wants in your heart and mind.

Now let us all gather together and watch this child, this exquisite child whom we all love so much tap dance her little heart out in her Sailor Moon costume tomorrow.

No drama.

No tears.

No onions.

Just Hazel because she is what this is all about.

We’ll let the oh-so-wise mediator sort all of the shit out later this week when Baby Daddy petitions the court for less child support (that he doesn’t pay) and more visitation time.

Yeah, he is that awesome!