How could an afternoon with this Hazey -Face be anything but delightful?
I’m not saying it can’t be exhausting because she is a three year old…with three year old logic.
Today’s debate was over why we must wear pants because we are not the People of Walmart. Of course because I mentioned Walmart, the girl now wants to go to Walmart…pants or no pants.
Exhausting yes, still she is oh so delightful. Our pants versus no pants debate is tabled as she suddenly bursts out into a song and dance.
She is so much like her Mi-Ma sometimes!
Using her princess sippy cup as a microphone, she jumps up, begins to dance and belts out…
I fro my hands up in the air sometimes
I wanna dance and dance all night
Cuz we rock this club
And we dance all night
Like it’s DYNOMITE!
Who knew that Taio Cruz got the lyrics wrong on his own hit? He did. Silly Taio!
Hazel agrees giggling, “Yeah, silly Taio!”
See? It’s all nothing but delightful…pants or no pants. I love days like this with my Hazey -Face.
Then there is a knock at the door. It’s Friday afternoon so I know that it is Baby Daddy picking up his child for his weekend.
And suddenly all happiness, joy and delight is sucked out of the room just like when the Dementors show up in any installment of Harry Potter.
He and I are polite, cordial, albeit stiff. I really can’t think of anything nice to say to him so I say very little at all. Instead I direct my attention to Hazel telling her to go get her shoes on because it is time to go. She runs into the other room and sits down on the sofa and starts to cry. I follow in after her and ask her what is wrong. With tears quietly rolling down her sweet cheeks, she tells me that she doesn’t want to go with him. I hug her and promise her that I know she is going to do all kinds of fun things this weekend and then we will get to see each other again Sunday night…whoo-hoo!
I’m such a lousy cheerleader.
She doesn’t believe me because I am a lousy cheerleader. But with a heavy sigh, she puts on her shoes, wipes her tears off her cheeks and walks slowly back towards Jeff. With one last hug, kiss, butterfly kiss and Eskimo kiss good-bye she is out the door walking slowly beside her Baby Daddy to his car.
I hate this. I hate it a lot. After one year of forced visitation and the poor child STILL doesn’t want to go. Hey San Joaquin County Family Court…WINNING! Hazel STILL doesn’t want to be with this man who insists to her that he is her ONLY daddy. Nothing anyone in her life says or does convinces her that this is a good thing; that she is the luckiest little girl ever to have TWO daddies who love her so much. She STILL doesn’t want to be with him. I hate how he steals her joy so quickly like that. Fighting back my tears I think to myself,
…how the hell does my daughter do this…how the hell does any single parent who shares custody or deals with visitation do this?…every weekend…or every other weekend…or whenever???…
I tell myself that as soon as she is out of sight she is having fun, laughing and singing her heart out. I tell myself it is just like when I would drop my own children at daycare or preschool when they were small. I try really hard to convince myself of this.
Then I let the tears fall.