as time goes by

Practically a lifetime ago, it seemed that the three families that love and claim Hazel as a daughter, niece, grandchild would never be able to be anything but be stiffly cordial to one another…and of course that was work because there was so much not-so-kind things happening before that. Of course it really wasn’t a lifetime ago but it sure felt that way. Just saying.

It definitely wasn’t that long ago when a little girl took to the stage to dance a duo and found herself overcome with fright and frustration and tears and ran off the stage.

But time goes by and

a little girl takes to the stage…

and rocks it with BOTH of her daddies!

Nothing but love here. In Hollie’s own words:

Still on an emotional high from last night. So proud of my baby girl, who had to pick a song and teach both her dads a dance. They won “Most Inspirational”. We have come a long way with this co-parenting business (some of you have been there through it all and know it hasn’t been easy in the slightest) and I’m proud of us for finally getting to the happy place we are at now, as well as super proud of our amazing daughter who has come so far in her dancing in just one year.


But just yesterday it seemed like our Jodie was telling us how much she loved dance class, as awkward as she was back in 2nd grade.

That’s exactly what we celebrated at our Dancing with the Dance Stars Team Jodie table…time passing and Jodie growing up from that little, awkward girl in Jonni’s mainstream jazz class to the accomplished dancer that she is today…anxiously waiting to hear about her AMDA audition.

She too shared the stage with her daddy because…

after all, she does get this from her daddy!

Best Daddy-Daughter Dance!

mischief managed

It was a great day and night of Halloween hijinks, joy and mischief.

Lumpy Space Princess announced that she is, indeed, pregnant, not just lumpy; and we were just as surprised over her announcement as we are about Jessica Simpson’s happy “surprise” announcement. But the Lumpy Space Princess one-upped Jessica because she announced that today is her last day of work…let the maternity leave commence. Whoo-hoo!!

Meanwhile, it was time to carve Hazel’s jack-o-lantern. Scary eyes and a happy smile is what she asked for.

So be it.

And while they waited for the trick treating hour, my boys made spectaacles of themselves.

While Hazel burned off some pent up energy and excitement with some heavy lifting.

At last it was time to put the costumes on and get ready!

Princess Rapunzel



And time to practice.

And pose for an awkward family portrait.

Oh yeah. Awkward!

FINALLY! It is time!

The Wizard and the Princess covered the whole neighborhood and came home with heavy bags full of treats.

Take note that the Wizard is turning 10 in two months while the Princess is only 3½ and maybe sigh heavily…I did.

Treats like these:

We tossed the Easter candy and Sister Ben took the tract for the good sister’s own personal stash…I think.

Mischief managed.

Happy Halloween/Reformation Day and Happy All Saints Day one and all!


So guess who decided that the best way to decorate a laptop is to color it…with a sharpie marker…all over the monitor screen of said laptop?

This girl!

She is so gosh darn bold with her creativity.

I’m desperately stifling that laugh because, of course, it wasn’t my laptop or her Mommy and Daddy’s computer but because it was her Baby Daddy’s laptop.


I think that I might have pulled a muscle stifling a laugh as she calmly explained to me that she must never, ever color or draw on a computer screen…ever.

I secretly high-fived her when Holly and Ben weren’t looking…


BEWARE of the red-headed sperm!

By now most have heard the news of the world’s largest sperm bank turning away donors who just so happen to be redheads. At first glance when I read this story I did gasp in disbelief. I mean, I’m a ginger…what’s not to love about me?


But it also initially disturbed me because of a theory circulating a few years back that redheads were doomed to soon be extinct. But then , thankfully, common sense prevailed.

Yes, we gingers are rare.

We do kind of stand out in the crowd and not just because of our fiery crown. Thomas Jefferson, Gen. George Custer, Winston Churchill, Elizabeth I, Vincent Van Gogh, Charles Darwin, Shaun White, Prince Harry, Conan O’Brien, Emma Stone, Julianne Moore, Susan Sarandon, Christina Hendricks and Nicole Kidman are just a few who come to mind.

True, the red hair is considered to be a recessive trait floating around in the gene pool but then I look at my own family.

In spite of my darling husband’s olive tone complexion and the dark brown hair that he once had, ginger, strawberry blonde and blonde prevailed. Quoting the words of the doctor who delivered these babies, “Go figure! You must have some powerful DNA!”

I do.

It is some pretty powerful stuff. Hazel’s Baby-Daddy was very surprised to realize that.

The very first time he held Hazel and beheld her strawberry-blonde fuzzy head he questioned how could she be so fair if her father had black hair and dark brown eyes. It’s a mystery, I agreed with him. Then I asked him if he ever really took a good look at Bill, Holly and the rest of this circus. Realization slowly came across his face.  Of course two years later he still needed a paternity test to verify the fact that yes he was the Baby-Daddy but the ginger DNA somehow beat out his and helped to create a most delightful, blue-eyed, strawberry-blonde hair child.

What’s not to love about her?

So in spite of Cryos’ decision to turn away ginger donors, we redheads will continue to prevail and thrive. We might represent 1-2% of the world’s human population but we are a a strong lot.

Ginger Power Forever!

from delightful to detestable

How could an afternoon with this Hazey -Face be anything but delightful?

I’m not saying it can’t be exhausting because she is a three year old…with three year old logic.


Today’s debate was over why we must wear pants because we are not the People of Walmart. Of course because I mentioned Walmart, the girl now wants to go to Walmart…pants or no pants.

Exhausting yes, still she is oh so delightful. Our pants versus no pants debate is tabled as she suddenly bursts out into a song and dance.

She is so much like her Mi-Ma sometimes!

Using her princess sippy cup as a microphone, she jumps up, begins to dance and belts out…

I fro my hands up in the air sometimes
Sayin’ EGGO
I wanna dance and dance all night
Sayin’ EGGO!
Sayin’ EGGO!

Cuz we rock this club
And we dance all night
Like it’s DYNOMITE!

Who knew that Taio Cruz got the lyrics wrong on his own hit? He did. Silly Taio!

Hazel agrees giggling, “Yeah, silly Taio!”

See? It’s all nothing but delightful…pants or no pants. I love days like this with my Hazey -Face.

Then there is a knock at the door. It’s Friday afternoon so I know that it is Baby Daddy picking up his child for his weekend.


And suddenly all happiness, joy and delight is sucked out of the room just like when the Dementors show up in any installment of Harry Potter.


He and I are polite, cordial, albeit stiff. I really can’t think of anything nice to say to him so I say very little at all. Instead I direct my attention to Hazel telling her to go get her shoes on because it is time to go. She runs into the other room and sits down on the sofa and starts to cry. I follow in after her and ask her what is wrong. With tears quietly rolling down her sweet cheeks, she tells me that she doesn’t want to go with him. I hug her and promise her that I know she is going to do all kinds of fun things this weekend and then we will get to see each other again Sunday night…whoo-hoo!

I’m such a lousy cheerleader.

She doesn’t believe me because I am a lousy cheerleader. But with a heavy sigh, she puts on her shoes, wipes her tears off her cheeks and walks slowly back towards Jeff. With one last hug, kiss, butterfly kiss and Eskimo kiss good-bye she is out the door walking slowly beside her Baby Daddy to his car.

I hate this. I hate it a lot. After one year of forced visitation and the poor child STILL doesn’t want to go. Hey San Joaquin County Family Court…WINNING! Hazel STILL doesn’t want to be with this man who insists to her that he is her ONLY daddy. Nothing anyone in her life says or does convinces her that this is a good thing; that she is the luckiest little girl ever to have TWO daddies who love her so much. She STILL doesn’t want to be with him. I hate how he steals her joy so quickly like that. Fighting back my tears I think to myself,

how the hell does my daughter do this…how the hell does any single parent who shares custody or deals with visitation do this?…every weekend…or every other weekend…or whenever???

I tell myself that as soon as she is out of sight she is having fun, laughing and singing her heart out. I tell myself it is just like when I would drop my own children at daycare or preschool when they were small. I try really hard to convince myself of this.

Then I let the tears fall.