Category Archives: birthdays

if it’s love

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Ear worm in my head right now…

While everybody else is getting out of bed
I’m usually getting in it
I’m not in it to win it
And there’s a thousand ways you can skin it…

I confess you are the best thing in my life…

If it’s love
And we decide that it’s forever
No one else could do it better…

Then suddenly I hear something else…

Chirp…chirp…chirp…

I walk through the Big Top listening carefully…

Chirp…chirp…chirp…

Damn these smoke detectors!

Chirp…chirp…chirp…

Found it!

It’s in one of the kids’ bedrooms. No problem. I grab the step ladder and a 9 volt battery and (BOOM!) I replace it.

Chirp…chirp…chirp…

Seriously?!

Honey, can you please check the smoke detector in Daniel’s room. It’s chirping.

Now?! (it’s 9:45 at night, bedtime for someone who has to get up at 4AM)

Yes, now.

I replaced that battery two weeks ago.

Well I just now replaced the battery and it is still chirping. Maybe I put it in wrong or something else. Can you please check it?

:::grumble:::

Seriously, honey. I know you’ll have no problem sleeping through that chirping all night but I know that I won’t and neither will Daniel. Can you please just check?

So he checks…with a little bit more grumbling…but he does check and it chirps no more.

Thank you.

Yeah…

Where was I? Oh yeah…

If it’s love
And we’re two birds of a feather
Then the rest is just whatever
And if I’m addicted to loving you…

Getting ready for bed, my little ear worm is interrupted yet again. There’s a damp bath mat on the floor in front of the shower.

UGH!

Really, how hard can it be to pick it up and hang it over the shower door, I grumble to myself as I pick it up. I want to shout it and wake up my darling husband but…

And you’re addicted to my love too
We can be them two birds of a feather
That flock together
Love, love
Got to have something to keep us together
Love, Love
That’s enough for me…

For thirty years now we have been loving and annoying the hell out of each other. That’s a very long time…a lifetime…our lifetime.

If it’s love
And we’re two birds of a feather
Then the rest is just whatever

If it’s love
And we decide that it’s forever
No one else could do it better
And if I’m addicted to loving you
And you’re addicted to my love too
We can be them two birds of a feather
That flock together
Love, love
Got to have something to keep us together
Love, love
Got to have something to keep us together
Love, love
That’s enough for me

Happy anniversary my darling husband. It’s been quite the adventure the last thirty years what with raising five clowns, including the one who decided to be born on our anniversary 17 years ago…Happy birthday Jodie!...and driving each other crazy with honey-do lists and leaving wet towels on the floor. But we are definitely in it to win it together.

Now if only we had the money to celebrate it properly.

Oh well.

Happy anniversary my love!

turning five

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Hazel’s very best friend since pretty much birth turned five years old this weekend.

Amelia is six weeks older than Hazel. Yes, that means that Hazel is going to be five…in six weeks…OMG! But this weekend was Amelia’s celebration.

Best moment, besides the birthday girl glowing with five year old happiness and pride had to be when Hazel announced that her best friend was five years old. Trembling with overwhelming happiness she exclaimed, “Ame is FIVE! She is FIVE YEARS OLD!! I’m so happy for her!!!“

Turning five is a big, fat, happy deal just in case you didn’t know that already. Thanks to Hazel, I have been reminded of this truth.

OMG! HAZEL IS GOING TO BE FIVE YEARS OLD!! IN SIX WEEKS!!! YES, I’M SHOUTING BECAUSE, OMG!! HAZEL IS GOING TO BE FIVE YEARS OLD!!! IN JUST SIX WEEKS!!!

and today the sun shines

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It has been pretty dark around here. I’ve been pretty dark. I know I have been scaring my kids and my darling husband a little. I know that because I know how I felt growing up watching my own Mommy Dearest slump into her darkest days.

My darkest moment earlier this week came when as I was gathering all the information the IRS is demanding from us, I could almost hear Mr. Potter’s voice in my head…the part where he looks at George Bailey and says “You’re worth more dead than alive!” That was a scary thought rambling around in my head. And as it crossed my mind so did the memories of the times when my Mommy Dearest would have the strength to get up. Too many times as a child I bore witness to her unsuccessful attempts on her own life. I don’t ever doubt the pain she was in or the hopelessness that she felt. Still while I love her so (in spite of what my brother and sister believe) I have never been able to reconcile those acts. Becoming a mother really made it impossible for me to do so. No matter how dark and hopeless and worthless I might feel, I look to my darling husband, my five beautiful circus clowns…my greatest achievements ever... and my gorgeous grandbabies and well, I see just how wonderful my life is because of them…in spite of my fears, my anxieties, my depths of despair.

How lucky am I?

I can not turn away from such wonderfulness…not ever.

Then there are the friends, old and new, acquaintances and people whom I have never, ever met, but have had conversations with who have reached out. It all overwhelms me in a good way…in a very good way. So like George Bailey, I see light as I realize in spite of what is most definitely an impossible situation, I am surrounded by a lot of love and am indeed enjoying a wonderful life.

I won’t lie, it would be even better if y’all had showed up with baskets and baskets of money…unless you are coming over later.

Are you?

Regardless, it is a wonderful life and I promise that I am working hard to appreciate that and to enjoy every minute of it.

let the joyous news spread throughout the land

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Birthday week will now begin!

But that isn’t why I found the special plate before me this morning for breakfast.

No, my darling husband had decided that I needed to fuel up before my audition adventure up in Sacramento. Oh, and it IS the start of birthday week palooza.

I won’t lie, it has been a rough weekend for me. It’s mostly my own doing that brought it all on but the overwhelming stress and worry became just too much on Friday. Thank goodness for friends and a darling husband and hugs and 3 mile runs and long soaks in the hot tub and good food and wine…

and silly hipster babies…

and nutella-stained, freckle face smiles…

and the opportunity to share my words auditioning for Listen To Your Mother Sacramento. What a nurturing, encouraging experience that was! Thank you Margaret and Nichole for the opportunity!

 

 

21

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Twenty one years ago today, after just 90 minutes of what was really hard labor, an amazing spirit was born into this world. A spirit that is so full of life it can barely be contained by the body that houses her.

Happy birthday my beautiful girl! It kills me that you are not closer to the Big Top so that the whole circus can celebrate your birthday with you. This part of parenting is hard…so much harder than that very first day when I let you skip so happily into Mrs. Hudson’s kindergarten classroom years and years ago even after that little boy standing next to you in line nearly covered you in green snot that he explosively sneezed everywhere.

Ugh! Do you know how hard it was for me to let you go then…as hard as it has been this past year.

Nevertheless, I am so proud of this amazing spirit whom I have brought into this world.

You are very welcome world!

Enjoy your day, Zoë…um, perhaps not as much as Josh enjoyed his 21st birthday. You and I will celebrate over some great sushi and saké the next time you have some time off from work and school and can come home to the Big Top.

Love you so much my Zo-zo.