possibly the end

Years ago during what was maybe an El Pequeño Niño, I gave birth on a windy, rainy, blustery evening. Having as many kids as I do the odds had to be in my favor at least once that this would happen. And because it was the days of drive-thru deliveries, baby Abigael and I found ourselves coming home scarcely 24 hours after we met face to face for the first time…on another dark and stormy night. My darling husband easily stepped over the giant 3 foot puddle that he parked my new minivan in front of to get our new baby safely buckled in for her first ride. Naturally, I stepped right into the middle of that puddle of cold, brackish rainwater with my fuzzy socks and Birkenstocks because I had just pushed a 7 pound baby out of my vagina just 24 hours before and I was still bruised and swollen enough to not be as flexible as my darling husband imagined that I must be because

weren’t you doing all kinds of crazy downward doggie-warrior kind of yoga-y stretches right before we went to the hospital yesterday morning?

Because I was in labor, BACK LABOR and I might have hurt you were it not for that distraction!

Oh. So I guess puddle jumping is hard for you right now.

Just a little.

Maybe rain boots would have been better than Birkenstocks then.


Somedays he’s lucky that I love him so. That day was one of those days.

Looks like we are having a proper winter finally here in our neck of the woods. Yes, Jonas had his way with the Eastern part of the United States which many have yet to dig out from. I’ve seen all the Facebook posts. Hang in there y’all. I grew up in Western Pennsylvania and I promise you that I had experienced more than my fair share of epic snow storms of the century to dig out from whether or not the snow ploughs came by to clear the main road and block our street and driveway…and of course school was not cancelled because as long as the school superintendent can get out of his driveway it’s all good. Still I am thankful for winds and the rains and the snow piling up in the Sierra because we need all the precipitation, all of it.

So while the rains came down, down, down in and all over Northern Cali this past week I set about to be prepared because El Niño finally is here!

This just might bring on the end of El Niño.

God I hope not because I want nothing more than to jump in some puddles while wearing these sweet boots.

Peeking ahead at the extended forecast I just might get my wish.

I should write

I should write but…


it’s raining and we know how everything literally SHUTS DOWN in California when it is raining.

Still, I should write…


but I’m working on trying not to fall down whilst attempting Virabhadrasana II. Actually Warrior II isn’t so bad. It’s my creaky, older, achy joints that are the problem. Something else I can try to blame on the rain.


I have (as always) laundry to fold…WARM, fresh out of the dryer laundry to fold before Zelda curls up on it all spreading the glitter that is cat hair ALL OVER IT because all the freshly laundered clothes are so soft and warm and purr-rect for a kitty like her to curl up in. She thinks so.


Hollie is distracting me from writing sending me impossibly adorable pictures and videos of little ballerina girls. I should be writing but I can’t. I just can’t even!


Plus it’s raining and my backyard is literally flooded…

I should be writing but…


the struggle…

It’s real.

only ten hours

According to my navigator app, it only takes about 10-11 hours to drive from Manteca to Tempe…weather permitting…probably no stops along the way except for gas. Driving to Tempe from Manteca it is about that…not counting the stops for gas, for coffee, potty breaks, meals, windshield wiper blade replacement…and sometimes traffic.

It also takes ten hours to travel from Manteca to Tempe when one is flying…today.

Driving from Manteca. We left after dropping Daniel off at school which means we were on the road just after 9 AM…after we got coffee.

Windy, rainy and green because it has been rainy…FINALLY!!!

To Mineta International Airport because Southwest had super awesome, cheap flights that fit this SunDevil’s school/work/social/family schedule. I now accept the fact that I am supposed to leave her there on the curb with her luggage. Security waving me to move along helped just a little. I still don’t like that I have to leave her there. Yes, I still blame my darling husband for making me drop her off to kindergarten years ago. I left her at 11 AM,

I got home just before 1 PM which gave me time to do something worthwhile, like a load of laundry, before picking Daniel up from school.


Jodie’s flight was delayed three times. Today she learned that when you are a poor college student between paychecks, airport cuisine at Mineta International is too expensive for you.

Finally boarding!

This is her If I smile real big you’ll offer me extra bags of complimentary honey-roasted peanuts because I haven’t eaten since breakfast face.

5:35 PM landed in Burbank. Apparently it wasn’t a direct flight. I could have sworn it was a direct flight. No, Mom. It’s not a direct flight.

Finally at 7:15 PM a text announcing: Landed in Phoenix!

See? Only 10 hours. Yes, I’m ignoring the fact that Arizona doesn’t observe Daylight Savings Time. 9 hours…might as well be 10 hours.

We miss her already.

Can it be May?

I’m pretty certain this is all her father’s fault…still.



because it just isn’t December without the head-exploding stress


Holidays, December just isn’t holidays and December without some the kind of stress that might make your head explode…or at last feel the need to pause and let out a loud, long primal scream…you just can’t believe how healing that can be sometimes…as long as you are not primally screaming in front of the kids…don’t,..just don’t. But yeah, it just isn’t December under The Big Top without some sort of stress that might either kill me or make me stronger or perhaps cause me to retreat into the back of my closet and sob just a little bit.

Yay, December!

But sure, December has been good, mostly. A few minor headaches and WTFs scattered here and there over the last 14 days but, it’s been okay.

Thanks December!

Then last night while driving home from Safeway, just FIVE MILES FROM HOME it happened. Smoke…so much smoke. Smoke billowing everywhere out of the mom-car.

Okay, December.

But, it could have been worse?


That could have happened this morning while Daniel and I were driving down to Valley Children’s for his quarterly endocrinology visit. Now THAT would have been worse.

I told myself that all day long…especially after my darling husband texted me that it was going to be minimum $500-600 fix…MINIMUM.

And December is back as it should be!

But it could be worse I mutter to myself over and over and over again.

It could be. It has been. It usually is every December. At least it feels that way.

But this, this is pretty good.

Daniel has literally grown so much in the last five months that he is for the first time EVER plotting on the normal growth chart!



Okay, fine, he is plotting on 1%ile of the growth curve of boys his age. But he is on the curve and out of 100 13 3/4 year old boys, he is taller than one of them…and I saw that kid at my son’s school awards assembly last month…literally. No, really, there is literally a 7th grade boy in his class who is shorter than Daniel…barely.

Yes, my car is broke down but my son is finally growing in a very good way and I am so unbelievably, ridiculously happy.

Thankfully, December and son’s endocrinologist tempers that glee because glee like that needs to be tempered because it is December.

Dr. K. informs us that as of January 31st, she is leaving the endocrine practice at Valley Children’s in Madera. We can stay and have Daniel start all over again with a new endocrinologist or we can follow Dr. K.

So we will no longer enjoy our two hour drive down to Madera 3-4 times a year with at least one guaranteed overnight stay?

Absolutely correct.

We will now be driving 2 1/2 hours 3-4 times a year with at least one guaranteed overnight stay to Fresno as she joins the UCSF Pediatric Endocrinology faculty and practice out of Community Regional Medical Center.

It’s likely going to be time to consider the need for a new mom car soon.

Yay! December!

Things could be worse. Things could be so much worse as so many past Decembers have proven. Standing in the lobby of Valley Children’s looking up at this great tree, as Daniel and I have done literally every December for the last five Decembers, I tell myself that I can really let myself get carried away with the stress of paying the $$$ to the mom car in December along with other December stuff and following Dr. K.’s practice after years of good and familiarity at Valley Children’s.

I could.

I really could.

Everyone else does on those days with some good and some bad and it is perfectly acceptable…especially when it is December.

But no. Today I am going to focus on this good, this incredible good that has never, ever been a reality for my son here under The Big Top. Today I will focus on the wonderful awesome that my son plots on the normal growth curve for boys.



letting it rain

The best thing one can do when it’s raining is to let it rain ~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

It rained today. Us thirsty folk here in California get very excited when it rains these days because of the extended severe drought so we do silly things like celebrate…because it’s raining!!!

It rained today, So why not put up one of The Big Top Christmas trees?

And so I did.

And if that isn’t reason enough, Jodie is coming home for Thanksgiving tonight.