and after the show


Nothing shows more birthday love than some “Man-Cake” maple chocolate bacon cupcakes from Christina’s Cupcakes.

Am I right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah…just hurry up with the “Happy Birthday” song so I can enjoy my chocolately, maplely, bacon man-cake goodness.

All kidding aside, my darling husband did enjoy his day of moving furniture for his first-born, magic compliments of Alex Ramon, tri-tip dinner with his noisy family circus gathered round followed with some delicious cupcakes and ice cream because it is also National Ice Cream Day

coincidence?

I think not.

 

birthday #newmagic


Your darling husband is turning 51 and you really want to gather the family circus to do something fun with him when what do your wandering eyes see but an old (not really old)  magical friend is coming to town with new magic to share.

Yes.

Perfect!

Our family circus first met Alex Ramon when he was performing at the “Zingmaster” for Ringling Bros Barnum & Bailey presents Zing Zang Zoom Circus. Like every one else, we truly were mesmerized as he made an elephant disappear, levitated members of the audience and transformed a man into a tiger right before our very eyes. But more importantly, we never forgot our conversations backstage before the show where he shared with us his love and enthusiasm for magic and the opportunity to come back to his home in the Bay Area and perform. Three years later, Jodie and I ran into him in Tahoe where he had been performing in his long-running show, Illusion Fusion, at the Horizon. It was there that my darling daughter literally ripped Alex’s heart into pieces which he magically (of course) pieced back together. With the closing of the Horizon Casino this past Spring came the opportunity for Alex to go on tour with NEW MAGIC with first stops in Northern California because you can go home again.

With only one performance in Modesto today, six members of our circus were guests of Alex’s including my darling husband, the birthday boy…

…who perhaps was a little too enthusiastic in locking Alex in shackles leaving marks on his wrist. “He said put them on tight.“, Bill argues.

Yes, he did. Still Alex got out of those shackles…several times.

#NewMagic is absolutely fun, family-friendly, audience participation entertainment that will not fail to hold you spellbound as you watch illusions performed that make you truly wonder if this is real or a dream.

Northern California readers be sure to catch Alex and the lovely, Meghan in the next few weeks at Vacaville on July 27, Livermore on August 10, and Marin on August 17.

Go.

See.

This.

Show.

I promise you that you will be as mesmerized as we were this afternoon. After the show most definitely take the time to stop and say hello to Alex as he is waiting after the show to say hello to you too.

Be sure to tell him the Scarborough Family Circus sent you.

The above review of #NewMagic is my own opinion. I received no compensation other than tickets for my family and me to attend the show. My thanks to Alex Ramon and Gallo Center for the Performing Arts for the hospitality and the magic today.

for the daddy I love


“They” say that a little girl’s daddy is the model for which a woman’s heart will fall for when she finds The One. Yeah, that’s what “They” say.

Hmmm…

Well, I seriously doubt that theory for myself, personally. Then again, I look at my own girls, their wonderful, complex, loving, open, crazy relationships with their daddy, that man I married and I might believe it. My girls are very picky with whom they might share their heart with and they can be pretty hard on the ones whom fall for them. Perhaps the latter is because of their mom. I don’t know. We’ll let those experts in fathers and their relationships with their children armchair analyze that as they do.

Based on my own experience and my imagined expertise, I am quite certain that my children have the absolute best daddy…the best daddy ever. Of course that means that I am married to the best daddy. No, that doesn’t guarantee that I wear the best mommy ever crown. Not at all. Let’s just say that the world’s okayest mom is married to the world’s best daddy ever.

There are so many examples I can list here to illustrate that but then I would just be bragging and showing off. Still, I am pretty certain that Hollie, Zoë, Abby, Jodie and Daniel are the children of the best daddy ever. Sure others might object. Some believe that they are or someone they knows holds that title.

It’s fine.

We all are entitled to what we believe to be true.

For me, I look at the way my kids look at this man, their daddy. I look at the way that he looks at them. I listen to their conversations…especially when they think that I am not listening or can’t hear them. I see and hear what I imagine in my heart every child must have, absolutely needs and always deserves from the man in their lives who is their daddy…love with no limits and no conditions. A love like that has no room for fear, dread, criticisms, disappointments. Of course this man whom my kids call daddy is not perfect. Far from it. Neither are those kids of mine. Who is really? But through the years, I have observed nothing but consistency when it comes to this man my kids call daddy. They were raised by the kind of daddy I imagined in my heart to be the perfect kind of daddy:

  • a daddy to laugh with
  • be silly with
  • to dance with
  • to sit with you in the bathroom for what felt like hours during that potty training phase
  • to ride in the car with while he sings along loudly to some weird country-rap song just as your friends pass by
  • a daddy who will discipline without excessive fear or force, or endless criticisms or a book recording all your wrongs that will be brought out and opened up every time you do something wrong forever and ever, amen
  • a daddy who might be disappointed or frustrated with your choices in almost anything from the music you listen to, the strange person you choose to date, the way that you alter your appearance, whom you vote for, whom you pray to or don’t pray to, the career path you choose but will love you all the more so that you might not ever know that he was ever disappointed
  • a daddy who is there for you when you are scared, broken-hearted or picking yourself up after your latest fuck-up without mocking your fear, your sadness, your pain, your anxiety or your own self-criticisms
  • a daddy who might never, ever understand what makes you tick but tries his damndest to understand…even if it is who is the latest super-hot boy band or the latest Hot Wheels release or Legos set.
  • a daddy who makes more sacrifices than any of his children will ever know so that they will always be safe, be warm, be dry, be fed and pursue almost anything that their heart desires
  • a daddy who teaches them all about hard work, self-discipline, sacrifice, love and how to relax and have fun not by lecture or instruction but by doing and by example.

Oops!

I’m kind of bragging, aren’t I? My bad.

No, he’s not perfect. Some might be quick to point out the chinks in his suit of daddy-armour. Some have as the experts known as “They” like to whether you ask them to or not. Regardless, this man is the best daddy ever…for my children…which is really the only thing that matters to me and to the people who call him daddy.

Happy Father’s Day to the man my children call daddy, the daddy I love.

Go forth this weekend and celebrate as you wanted to, as you deserve to playing golf, grilling and just relaxing…the perfect way to celebrate Father’s Day.

 

 

the last days of the tooth fairy


Oh dear, sweet Tooth Fairy, your days are numbered here under the Big Top. Of course you know it. I imagine you are reveling in it too as you roll around on the floor in your pink, fluffy tutu throwing tooth fairy glitter up in the air, laughing with joy as it rains down upon your bearded self.

Yes, the Tooth Fairy here under The Big Top is a dude, a dude with a hairy chest, a bit of a beer belly and a beard. And after collecting teeth and letters for more than twenty-one years, the Tooth Fairy Dude is so ready to be done. He even has passed his job on to us mere mortal parents…okay parent because a certain clown would not fall asleep one time.

Ugh!

You can not even begin to imagine how traumatized I was pinch-hitting for the burly fairy. The kid was literally hugging the pillow his tooth was under…hugging with his arms and his legs wrapped around the pillow protecting that Ziploc bagged tooth from anything real or unreal. And he had his lights on. And the cat snuck in with me and jumped on the bed waking the kid up just as my hand slipped under the pillow to leave the gold dollar coin and grab the bag.

I might have whispered, “Oh shit!“. Maybe. Perhaps. I don’t know.

Stroking his forehead, I whispered, “it’s okay, sweetie. Zelda got in here by mistake. Let me get her out. Go back to sleep.

Yes. I blamed the cat.

Whatever, Zelda. Get over it. I’m not going to be the one who spoils the Tooth Fairy magic. The next morning Daniel remembers that somehow the cat got into his room, past his latched door and, yes, thank goodness I discovered that and got her out before the Tooth Fairy came bringing yet another gold dollar coin for his collection.

Yes. Thank goodness!

According to Daniel’s dentist, only two baby teeth remain, both rootless and having no reason to remain in the boy’s mouth.. Yet they do.. One would likely pop right out if a certain 12 year old boy would push and pull on it with his tongue or his fingers. The dentist told Daniel that.

EW!!! NO!!!“, Daniel replied with complete revulsion as a child with oral defensive behavior would.

Suit yourself.”, the dentist shrugs. That tooth will eventually come out on it’s own the dentist tells Daniel. As for the other rootless baby tooth, well, it somehow is wedged between a new tooth anxiously pushing through the gum sideways and other teeth. That tooth needs to be extracted. And so it was extracted, in pieces like broken egg shells.

Daniel carefully wrapped the broken-up tooth into an envelope and placed it in a Ziploc bag along with a note explaining how the tooth came out and why it was in pieces. He then placed it under his pillow before bed. Yes, the pillow he wraps his arms and legs around protectively while he sleeps.

The Tooth Fairy sent me a text…YES, the Tooth Fairy has my number and YES, the Tooth Fairy does text me occasionally…Please, nobody tell my darling husband. I mean it!

Couldn’t get to the tooth. Left the money though.

Clearly this is a tooth that continues to be difficult to extract.

Meanwhile, Daniel is kind of pissed off at the Tooth Fairy because leaving the tooth and the note behind?! Who does that?! Whatever happened to “No Tooth Left Behind“?

You DON’T just LEAVE the TOOTH!“, he emphatically declared…as he added yet another gold dollar coin to his collection.

And so we wait for the very last tooth and the very last visit from the Tooth Fairy, which I do hope he will get right. I already made sure the Tooth Fairy know that I am not taking that job for him because we do text one another occasionally.

I wonder if it is not too late for us to adopt the way that Millennial parents work with the Tooth Fairy.

No, they did not invent breastfeeding or baby-wearing or cloth-diapering or co-sleeping like they imagine that they did. But this, this genius I will give them credit for. Hang that on the doorknob with the tooth. Tooth gets picked up. Gold dollar coin gets left behind. Boom! Nobody gets hurt.

We’re doing this!

chopped…again


If there is anything that never changes about me and my hair is that, for now, it remains ginger if not ginger-er (thank you my darling daughter #!!) and that it can be seen in any given length at any given time of any given year of any given life-stage of my life. Did you see that crazy 30-second video of 31 years of hair marriage?

When Bill and I got married, my hair was extraordinarily long…and big…it was the 80’s. My sister-in-law worked her magic and wrestled all that hair up into the most fantastical Gibson Girl knot to go with the Gunne Sax gown that I wore the day that we were married. So amazing was that up-do because it did not move as Bill and I drove down Highway 17 in a convertible with the top down. I bow down to Teri’s skills and Aqua Net and so many hair pins that I was still finding trapped in my hair days later while on our honeymoon. But soon enough the honeymoon was over and I CHOPPED off all that hair…pretty much all of it. Bill came home from work one day a few months later to find that his bride was now sporting a spiky pixie shorter than his epic afro. He had no clue that this was going to happen. It was that day that I knew that it was so much more than my hair that he loved as he did not react at all. Well, he did ask me, after telling me how his day was at work, to next time I did something crazy with my hair just let him know. It was only over dinner, and a couple beers, did he confess that the first thought that came to his mind that day was “What the fuck did she do?!” But he wisely decided that he should not say that out loud. And so I promised him that…and over the last 31 years I have kept that promise…every time I chopped off all the hair or subjected it to some crazy-assed spiral perm because my thick, wavy, curly, unruly hair wasn’t nearly crazy enough for those dark times known as the late 80s-early 90s. Looking back through the years it seems that I go every three to four years before I do something crazy, drastic to my hair and, as I promised my darling husband, I let him know.

So I’m thinking that I’m going to let Hollie chop off all of my hair…

And then I did…and Hollie did.

Yes, I know what Coco Chanel said:
A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life.

I’m also aware of that school of thought that “When a woman cuts her hair off, it’s not about wanting a cute new look, no matter what anyone says. It’s about sheer emotional turmoil…But why should this be? Why should a woman’s hair have anything to do with her emotions?
Because hair, for almost every woman, represents femininity and beauty, and sometimes, therefore, what she thinks of herself. When you deal with these aspects of a woman, emotions naturally run high.”

Um, yeah. No. It’s amazing that people believe and think like that.

Different strokes, I guess.

Why I from time to time will chop all the hair off is because I feel the need to get out from under the security blanket that is my hair. I have no choice but to be bolder without all the hair. There is so much more to me than a glorious head of hair with long, luscious locks…and yes, I do believe that when long it is pretty glorious and luscious. Still there is so much more to me than all of that hair.

Some would suggest that I can do that because I have the right face for such a look but then again with confidence, boldness, rebellion and a little discomfort comes the ability to wear one’s hair that short. The shape of one’s face, their cheekbones and bone structure have little to do with confidence, boldness, rebellion and discomfort.

Sometimes the hair was all chopped off because it was time for a change…a new baby or two or three or more come to mind. Sometimes you just need a change. Sometimes you just want the ability to practically wash and go and not be stuck with that equally wash and go ponytail or top-knot because tension alopecia is not pretty.

So today, for now, most, er, some of the hair is gone and I’m feeling a little bit scalped and ten pounds lighter, definitely cooler and perhaps a little bit more vulnerable without that veil to hide behind… I’m liking it.

Yes, my darling husband, and the rest of the family approves too…or at least is used to the time to change. again. Then again, it does run in the family…even to the next generation too.

No big deal. It’s just hair.