shifted revolutions

Late one August night in 2001, I had an emotional crisis which my darling husband had to talk me down from and hug it out. My then youngest child, my sunshine-y, happy baby girl who was slumbering peacefully in the room next door was going to be starting kindergarten the next morning. No doubt she was having happy, sweet, sunshine-y dreams about her very first day of kindergarten because that was all that she chirped about as I bathed her, brushed her golden hair and tucked her into bed with kisses and hugs. She could not wait.

But me? I had resolved that she wouldn’t be starting kindergarten after all. That’s right. It was settled, I told my darling husband. Jodie would not be going to school.

But…Bill countered…she has to go to school.

No. No she does not. School will ruin her. Look what it has done to our 14 year old first born…a perfectly normal adolescent who would rather chew ground glass than hang out with mom and dad because

Oh my gawd! Mom! Dad! No!!

She used to love and adore us like the sun and the moon that rose and set for her every day. The she went to school.. It’s too late for her and Zoë and Abby but we can save this one. No school for her. I am the center of her universe. She is Mommy’s baby girl. She even still calls me Mommy. School willI ruin it all. No school for her.

I told you it was a crisis.

Bill obviously talked me out of it because Jodie did happily skip off to Miss Smith’s bright classroom the next morning. Our then teenager continued to put us through the paces but we all survived…as we have survived three more teenagers. And yes, the center of Jodie’s universe did shift as it did with all of my children.

Dammit school!

So now I start to adjust to the fact that my third circus clown has left The Big Top…and her empty room…and the even quieter circus tent…and remembering not to set a place for her at the table…and on and on… I’m going to be okay…I think…and then Laurie shares I was the sun, and the kids were my planets and…

Dammit!

:::SOB!!!:::

I’m a mess all over again because Beverly Beckham is right. When Hollie left the first time and then left the second time with Hazel and when Zoë left and now Jodie it has been the end.

I was the sun and they were the planets. And there was life on those planets, whirling, nonstop plans and parties and friends coming and going, and ideas and dreams and the phone ringing and doors slamming.

And I got to beam down on them. To watch. To glow.

And then they were gone, one after the other.

Yes, they do come back but it is never the same, noisy, chaotic, busy circus that was life under The Big Top when I was the sun and they were my planets.

this moment

This moment.

So many feels right now as I capture this moment. I’m not the only one either.

This moment we can’t help but be even more thankful for. This moment we wish that we could have shared with more…side eye at some who might not have bothered to check and perhaps respond to text messages. This moment that just five months ago might not have been possible. This moment that will not be a possibility for a dear, old friend whom we have known for as long as we all have been much too young people having babies. This moment we shake our head in shock that someone we share so much history with is gone. This moment we wonder why his family and why not ours. This moment we cry and share our love because life is just too tenuous. This moment we pray for our dear friend, his amazing wife and his wonderful children.

This moment. This moment we give thanks. This moment we celebrate.

too tall and other squad adventures

The perfect time to get away from the dusty triple digit temps that is the Central Valley is right now.

And in Santa Clara at California’s Great America, today was practically sweater weather. Kidding. But it was literally 20 degrees cooler than Manteca. So sorry work for not taking that call to come in and work extra.

This guy was literally counting down the days until we could play at California’s Great America.

So was Abby

And Abby’s BFF, Maci.

It was a great day enjoying all the food, all the drinks and all the rides in the park, courtesy of Bill’s company. Bonus, Daniel was more than tall enough to ride any ride of his choosing.

Well, almost any ride of his choosing.

One disappointment in a day filled with adventure for this squad?

We’ll take it!

influencers

Celebrating today in and around The Big Top men who influence.

These three. Yes, these three, who really did not cooperate and take direction well in the taking of this photo. But let it be known that they all were definitely smiling on the inside. These three influence every day people whom are very important to me…and I’m glad that they do.

Bonus is today we all had the opportunity to celebrate the biggest influencer in my life and the lives of our children. We have joked that we could only played the almost-died-from-a-massive-heart-attack card up until today, Father’s Day. But, truth be told, every day, every moment we can’t help but to be thankful because we have that one more day, one more moment with him influencing us all.

Moments like this, where I am witnessing the man that I love and the father of all my babies and papa of my grand babies as he danced to Taylor Swift with Hazel’s and Fallon’s Kingston. Definitely a moment, a priceless moment, to celebrate.

Happy Father’s Day to all the men who have positively influenced my life and the lives of the people whom I love so very much!

for the uncommon dad

Father’s Day is coming!!!…because June is all about the dads…and the grads…and the brides.

That’s my darling husband adding the grads and brides with just a hint of snarky bitterness because dads must share June with grads and brides and…then I roll my eyes just a little reminding him of the fact we married the day before Mother’s Day on his grandparents’ 50th wedding anniversary which, 13 years later would also be our 4ht circus clown’s birth day.

Whatever, my darling husband!

But this year especially, we are all about celebrating dad…my kids’ dad because so many reasons and yes, we intend to celebrate him being here to celebrate everything with us for as long as we can because he is…here.

The thing about my darling husband, the father of my children, is he likes to celebrate Father’s Day in his own uncommon way. Please, no ties or golf or gardening stuff. Just let him chill with the family, grill some meat, enjoy a brew or more and maybe fall asleep watching a movie on Netflix.

Perfect Father’s Day level unlocked.

Easy.

Even easier now, the challenge of finding the perfect Uncommon Father’s Day gift for our uncommon dad here under the Big Top is not so challenging after all because this dad definitely does not want or need another necktie. Of course he is not the only Uncommon dad which is why I am sharing with you all now Uncommon Goods and the wonderful, uncommon gifts for dads, grandfathers, husbands, boyfriends and more. From the grillmaster dads to the sporty dads to the geeky dads to the musical dads to the veteran grand dads to the newborn dads, Uncommon Goos has so many original gifts to choose from that is most definitely not your ho-hum necktie kind of Dad’s Day gift.

For our Uncommon dad the perfect gift was something to enjoy and share a little refreshment while doing exactly what he is wanting to do this Father’s Day.

Chilling with the family, grilling some meat, enjoying a brew or more and maybe falling asleep watching a movie on Netflix.

The perfect Father’s Day celebration unlocked.

Be sure to check out Uncommon Goods and their amazing Father’s Day gift ideas for the very best uncommon Dads and Grand dads.