Category Archives: daughters

today I have the courage

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I am not a hat person. In fact, I believe that I look ridiculous in hats. Wandering through the accessories department I want so much to just pick up a hat and try it on. Preening in the mirror I would see this gorgeous creature not ridiculous me wearing a hat that is obviously too small for my big head with even bigger hair.

I am not a hat person.

My daughters, on the other hand look great in hats…any hats. They put them on and transform into whatever characteristic the hat conveys and they strut around confidently wearing their hat. It’s the self confidence that they have, I know. Yes, I have been jealous of that confidence my girls have while at the same time congratulating myself and their father for being the awesome parents that we are to have raised up such dauntless human beings. If only I had that sense of self back when I was their age. I would have been wearing hats all the time.

Alas, I am not a hat person.

But the other day I decided to try on a hat…

and…

It fit! A ladies’ hat that fit my fat head! I kind of liked how I looked with it on too. So I bought it. Then I wore it today…all day…everywhere.

Perfect day to wear such a hat too since it was hot like seven inches from the mid-day sun hot.

I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and has a wide brim with a red ribbon around the band. It gives me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. People are generous in their compliments. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it.
~ Erma Bombeck


my ally

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When it comes to young men who might be interested in my girls, I make it no secret that I am probably much more protective of my girls and their hearts than their dad. Don’t believe me? Ask Holly. Or ask those few unfortunate boys who did dare to break her heart. I’m. Not. Kidding.

No. Really.

But then again, I do give my daughters the benefit of the doubt. After all they are pretty strong, opinionated, stubborn, young women. I know a relationship with them can be…erm…well, challenging…because they’re my daughters…because they can be a lot like me…because I know I drive my darling husband crazy…a lot…all the time…for nearly thirty years. Yes, the man is a saint…a saint who still drives me to mad distraction, but still a saint. It’s then that I might advise my girls to fall in love with a guy that will treat them like their dad treats me…and them. I would advise them of that if only they would listen. Unfortunately, they can be a lot like me.

But yes, I am the one the guys must worry about if they ever break the heart of one of my girls. Ever.

Last week Jodie was invited to meet with admissions representatives from NYU. It was an invitation-only event for high school juniors who have rocked their PSAT, SAT or ACT tests. Sure Jodie is a sophomore but she still rocked the PSAT and NYU is where she wants to be…at Tisch at NYU…so of course she was all squeal-y excited about this invite. Daniel tagged along because, well, sisters and Dad were all at work so he tagged along.

The presentation was amazing, slick and shiny…with refreshments and food. Exactly what these over-achieving kids need to stir their big dreams. Yeah, I got caught up in it too…until they talked $$$. Egads! My annual salary will just barely cover the yearly tuition and housing costs…barely. I’m going to have to win the Mega Millions because there is no rich uncle anywhere. But if she were to go to there I wouldn’t have to buy a car for her. Who drives there in NYC that lives in NYC?

My mind tried to wander further down that long, winding road of (WTF!) how can we even begin to try to afford this because this was just an information gathering type meeting. We have gathered. We will sit down and discuss later. For now I had to let the girl enjoy the moment talking to a soon to be graduating senior who, surprise, went to Tisch and to the admissions rep who congratulated her on her PSAT success.

She was all shiny and happy…REALLY shiny and happy.

Perhaps that is what caught the eye of the tall, young man who came up to her to say hello. They made small talk sharing what schools they went to, what did they want to major in at NYU and other stuff. I played it cool pretending to study the glossy brochure that I was given. I’m good at that, you know….pretending to study glossy brochures while boys flirt with my daughters. Daniel, on the other hand noticed this boy right away. He looked up from his Lego Star Wars Nintendo game and studied him with narrowed eyes. He glanced over in my direction, touched my arm and gestured as if to say, “Mom! This guy! He’s talking to MY SISTER!”

I smiled at him and leaned in and whispered, “It’s okay, Buddy. He’s just saying hello.” He nodded warily and went back to watching this boy talking to his sister. I may or may not have laughed a little out loud thinking to myself that yes, I have an ally to protect my daughters’ hearts. And then I thought of my own younger brothers, who at different times did the same thing trying to protect me, my heart and my honor.

In spite of all their teasing, stinky-ness and pesky-ness, brothers rock..especially THIS brother!

wordful Wednesday: even prettier

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I make it no secret that I am in awe of my gorgeous daughters. At their current respective ages I know that I was not nearly as beautiful as they are…at least when I looked at myself in the mirror back in those days. Yet I am partly responsible for such amazing beauty times four because they are walking around with some of my DNA. But as beautiful as my girls are it is possible to make them even more beautiful thanks to the creative talents of my first born.


I can take some credit for this too I guess since as her parent I did pay for her education to make a little part of the world here in the Central Valley a more beautiful place.

In need of a hair model, she promised her sister Abby a colorful make-over. Turns out she didn’t need the hair model after all but Abby was really looking forward to the colorful makeover. So it happened, here under the Big Top, in my kitchen.

“You’re such a weirdo, Mom!“, she tells me as I take this shot. Um yeah. Sure.

Colors that call attention to how beautiful Abby is rather than to the colors themselves.

She’s happy…which makes her even prettier I think.

Wordful Wednesday is like Wordless Wednesday, only WITH words. It’s for those of us that can’t contain the chatter, but in a good way. Have something to be Wordful About this Wednesday?  Head on over to Seven Clown Circus and Parenting by Dummies to link up and share.

the gift

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I’ll let you all in on a little secret. Back in the day before Holly made me a mommy, the last thing that I wanted was a girl-child. It’s not that I didn’t like girls. I did and I do. I’m a girl. What’s not to like about me? But truth be told, I “got” boys better than I did girls. Growing up I was closer to my brothers than I ever was to the sister I grew up with. More than twenty years separate my youngest sisters and me and while I do treasure our relationships, twenty-plus years separate our lives onto different planes with different adventures. My relationship with my own mother has always been strained…critically ill usually. “Why in the world would I want to be a mother to a daughter?“, I wondered to myself when I was a wise 24 year old?

Then I became the mother to Holly…who prayed for a sister. And then I begat Zoë and then Abigael. People snickered and teased us about having so many daughters. Go ahead, offer a witty quip about the estrogen rich brood that we have been blessed with…we have heard it all. Then came Jodie and one truth was clear. We had perfected the art of making beautiful, amazing daughters.

It’s a gift, you know.

Only the best and the brightest and (sometimes) the bravest of parents have this ability. The rest just make silly feminine hygiene and raging hormones jokes. They’re just jealous of the gift we possess. Thankfully our family was blessed from both sides as awesome, gorgeous daughters seem to run on both sides of the family. It was crystal clear that we had perfected the creation of daughters.

And it would seem that we have passed on this amazing gift/trait to our first born girl-child.

That’s right. Ladies and gentlemen, the Coming Attraction 2.0 has revealed herself to be a GIRL! Mother, father, grandparents, sister, aunties, uncle and the rest of the family rejoices because it is crystal clear that Holly, like her mother before her, gestates beautiful baby girls.

little Miss Coming Attraction 2.0 @ 20 weeks 3 days

 

little Miss Hazel Faye @ 23 weeks

Holly sent me a picture message last night that compared the 3D ultrasound photos of her two babies and declared, “I make cute babies…thanks for the good genes.“

What can I say, it’s a gift passed on down the generations.

 

our children, our karma

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I have the good fortune of being acquainted with someone who likes to mock friends whom she is annoyed with on her Facebook page…perhaps she isn’t much of a friend after all. Nevertheless, that is her thing that she likes to do. She’s just a twenty-something kid. Someday she’ll grow up. Someday soon, I hope.

But it seems some of my recent postings on Facebook have been inspiration for her latest run of passive-aggressive mockage. She’s annoyed with a member of the family circus which would follow that she is annoyed with me and it showed on my Facebook news feed with her status updates. Now what could I possibly be putting out there to make her skin crawl and feel physically ill like that I wonder?

Dance!

Dance recitals!

Pretty girls in pretty dance recital costumes!

I know. It’s just horrible.

But a small part of me gets her annoyance and her need to poke snarky fun at it. I was once a young smart-ass too. But we must be careful because that which you mock when you are young and stupid your darling child will wholeheartedly embrace as will you…take it from me, the former basketball mom, the former soccer mom, the cheerleader mom and the dance mom.

It’s karma…beautiful karma.

I can’t wait to see what her darling daughter will someday embrace.