miles


This last weekend I hit a milestone. I have ran more than 3,000 miles in the last (almost) four years. 3,000 miles! I know! That’s like running coast to coast. I blame Kristen, Bill and Kari…especially Kari! Just kidding! Actually I am quite grateful to all of them for the friendship, the inspiration, the support and the whining…them putting up with MY whining. We have logged many miles together and apart but we were always connected and remain so. Running with them virtually and together broadened my circle of friends with Stephanie, Erica, Liz, Beth, Christina, Christine, Kale and so many more awesome people I’m sure I’m forgetting…go ahead and yell at me for forgetting, mmm-kay? But the circle grew even larger as I connected with local folks running like crazy…Linda, Row, Mac, Mike, Erika and Layla. I even reconnected with a high school classmate who I now count as a very, very dear friend thanks to running. Miles and miles of running together and not together connects us all in a way that one can not imagine unless they too are running. Perhaps it’s all those happy, happy endorphins…or maybe we are just a little bit crazy like non-running folk pronounce us to be. Who knows? But we are a close knit community. When one falls or is injured or must stop running we feel their pain and frustration. When one of us PRs we celebrate their amazing feat. We are a close-knit family thanks to all the miles we have all covered.

So when the bombs went off at the finish line of the Boston Marathon we were pained. No, we were struck down, maimed even. Many of us knew people running in Boston…and were following their run in a creepy-cool kind of way thanks to social media and electronic timing chips and we immediately checked to see where were they on the course. We then checked on our running friends who live in Boston but were not running. Sure, Boston is big city but Patriots’ Day and the Boston Marathon are a big, fat deal in their hometown. It’s a day to play and to celebrate. A huge sigh of relief was breathed knowing everyone we knew was okay. Still we felt the pain being broadcast for hours on end on Monday. Once again our country was attacked on a beautiful day by clearly someone or someones who truly have nothing but hate, mayhem and destruction on their agenda. The loss of life was nothing like 9-11…THANK GOD! Still, a life is a life and we can’t help but feel pain for the families of those three beautiful souls. As runners, we looked to who ended up being the victims that day…runners thisclose to the finish line, spectators cheering them on and looking for their own people to cross. Many of these innocents were family of runners- parents, husbands, wives, children, grandchildren, some were likely to be runners too, runners who just crossed the finish line and looking back for a friend who was still on the course somewhere or runners who were not running that day but were there to cheer on other runnersbecause we runners like to do that when we can’t run. And some were just people, random strangers there to cheer on these crazy running people…perhaps at the request of a friend 3,000 miles away from the finish line. They were all joined in the community of running, celebrating, enjoying a beautiful day together. And in an instant it was all blown up…literally. So many were injured, horribly disfigured for god only knows what evil reason. And the running community grieved perhaps as much as Boston has been. Our family was viciously attacked. How could we not grieve?

You see, the thing about us runners is that we are runners. We might not have qualified this year. We may have qualified but did not run. We may have been injured and unable to go. We may have never qualified (and given my granny pace, likely never will). But we are runners and Monday and every day since Monday, our hearts have been in Boston.

And since Monday, this family whom I belong to has united even more tightly. We are determined to reach out and love Boston, to share, to help, to give, to show our solidarity wearing our tech shirts from races past all week long and to run and keep on running…running more and more miles…all for Boston. And as we run, we are healing because those endorphins are epic stuff, yo!

The logistics of races will likely never be the same thanks to the evil that tried to destroy the Boston Marathon, but race we will continue to do. More miles. You just can not stop us from running more miles.

Just as President Obama predicted today I know for sure that “this time next year on the third Monday in April, the world will return to this great American city to run harder than ever and to cheer even louder for the 118th Boston Marathon.

Bet on it.”

teach our children well


In the news all over the place this last week or so was this.

And the media was not guilty alone in the re-victimization of this horrible crime.

Frankly I am tired of the sympathy for Trent Mays and Ma’lik Richmond. Sorry, but I was not moved by their tears, their apologies after they were found guilty and the proclamation made by Richmond that “my life is over, no one is going to want me now.” These young men…good students, talented football players, young people with so much promise…not unlike their friends Michael Nodianos, Mark Cole II, Evan Westlake, Cody Saltsman, Anthony Craig and every other person (student, parent, teacher, coach, minister) who was witness to and complicit in the rape of a 16 year old girl are wholly and completely responsible for the criminal and immoral actions they did. Period.

We teach our daughters to be mindful of how they dress, how they talk. We teach our girls the difference between
a man who flatters her and one who compliments her,
one who spends money on her and one who invests in her,
one who views her as property and one who views her properly,
a man who lusts after her and a man who loves her,
a man who believes that he is a gift to women and the man who believes she is a gift to him.
We warn our girls to never leave their drink unattended, to never go anywhere alone with a stranger and on and on and on it goes…We instruct and admonish all these things and more when talking to our daughters but it still does not protect them or any other girl or woman from violent sexual crimes against women. But after raising four daughters of mine to be mindful of all of these things and then some I find myself coming to a place where I believe that we should not be teaching our daughters how not to get raped…because NOTHING our daughters do is ever something that makes them deserving of such a horrific thing.

Never!

Never!!

Ever!!!

We need to be teaching our sons these things. We need to instruct our boys that regardless of where a girl comes from or how she might be dressed or what she might be saying or doing she is still a human being just like he is…a human being deserving to be treated just as our son would want to be treated…or might expect his sister or his mother or his grandmother to be treated. We need to make sure that our sons understand that yes they can control their own physical urges. We need to constantly remind our sons that when a girl says no it means no…when a girl is silent it means no…when a girl is under the influence of alcohol or drugs it means no…when a girl is asleep or unconscious it absolutely, positively means no. We need to insure that our sons understand that no girl is ever asking for it because of the way she might be dressed or how she looks when she walks past them or when she is under the influence of any substance that might impair their ability to reason, talk, walk and to definitely say NO!

We need to make sure that our sons and our daughters understand that when they witness such vile acts happening to another human being we should not pull out our smart phones and capture the event on Instagram or for YouTube or Twitter or Facebook or SnapChat or any other social media platform. We need to teach our children that when they pull out their phones they should be calling the police to report a serious crime.We need to teach our children that the victim of the crime is always the victim even when those who committed the crime against the victim are really nice kids with promising futures in sports or academia or are pillars of the community. Our children must come to understand that when they witness someone carrying around an unconscious naked human being it is wrong. We need to make sure our children realize that if they witness someone forcing body parts or any objects into the mouth or vagina or anus of an unconscious person that someone is raping them. We need to instruct our children that the only thing to do, the thing that they MUST do if they witness such heinous acts is to call the police.

Period.

and today the sun shines


It has been pretty dark around here. I’ve been pretty dark. I know I have been scaring my kids and my darling husband a little. I know that because I know how I felt growing up watching my own Mommy Dearest slump into her darkest days.

My darkest moment earlier this week came when as I was gathering all the information the IRS is demanding from us, I could almost hear Mr. Potter’s voice in my head…the part where he looks at George Bailey and says “You’re worth more dead than alive!” That was a scary thought rambling around in my head. And as it crossed my mind so did the memories of the times when my Mommy Dearest would have the strength to get up. Too many times as a child I bore witness to her unsuccessful attempts on her own life. I don’t ever doubt the pain she was in or the hopelessness that she felt. Still while I love her so (in spite of what my brother and sister believe) I have never been able to reconcile those acts. Becoming a mother really made it impossible for me to do so. No matter how dark and hopeless and worthless I might feel, I look to my darling husband, my five beautiful circus clowns…my greatest achievements ever... and my gorgeous grandbabies and well, I see just how wonderful my life is because of them…in spite of my fears, my anxieties, my depths of despair.

How lucky am I?

I can not turn away from such wonderfulness…not ever.

Then there are the friends, old and new, acquaintances and people whom I have never, ever met, but have had conversations with who have reached out. It all overwhelms me in a good way…in a very good way. So like George Bailey, I see light as I realize in spite of what is most definitely an impossible situation, I am surrounded by a lot of love and am indeed enjoying a wonderful life.

I won’t lie, it would be even better if y’all had showed up with baskets and baskets of money…unless you are coming over later.

Are you?

Regardless, it is a wonderful life and I promise that I am working hard to appreciate that and to enjoy every minute of it.

enough with the bright futures! stop growing up!


Look at those bright, happy smiling faces! Looking at them Timbuk 3′s song “The Future’s So Bright” starts playing in the personal soundtrack of my mind.

What?

You don’t have a personal musical soundtrack always playing in your mind?

What’s wrong with you?

Oh, never mind.

Back to looking at these kids. Some I have known for a few years now. A couple of them I have known since before they were even born. Now I find myself bearing witness to them growing up much too quickly from little kids…real little kids…babies even…into these confident, happy, smart people who (sooner than I will be ready for) will be ready to take on and likely rule the world.

I don’t think I am ready for that just yet. Not that I would doubt that they would rule the world benevolently and brilliantly. I’m just not ready for these kids to grow up.

Stop it!

And while you are at it, take off those damn shades!

I swear this is not the cold meds talking.

spelling and other life lessons


As a former county-wide spelling bee champion…

are you impressed??

don’t be

unless you need help spelling a word and you don’t have a dictionary handy

Anyway, as a former county-wide spelling bee champion, I learned a lot of tricks on how to remember how to spell frequently misspelled words. You learn cute little mnemonics to assist the memory while standing in front of microphone in front of an auditorium of people who probably couldn’t spell half the words that you are spelling. Things like that from grade school and junior high school never leave you which is a good thing…

cute little mnemonics being the good thing that is.

the junior high Mean Girls drama/trauma that some grownups just can’t let go of ever, not so much.

One of my absolute favorites is this:

Made me smile back then, makes me smile even more so today.