a simple thing

The other day, while driving home, I approached a red light at an intersection. With two cars ahead of me stopped of course I stopped and as I did the light turned green. But none of us moved forward. A scene not unlike this is why.

Literally this. Except the little old lady with the walker walked in front of us as the light turned green for us. Perhaps she might have been lost and confused, or perhaps she regularly walks about in the neighborhood with her walker dressed in a housecoat and slippers every day. Who knows? But we all waited as she very slowly made her way across the wide, six lane street. The drivers of the three cars in front of me, the two beside me and one behind me all seemed to be okay with waiting. What else could we do? We waited. I immediately thought of that “Hello Human Kindness” commercial witnessing all of this. But my thoughts were soon disrupted with the blaring of horns behind me because confused, old lady be damned, they had places to go!

Goodbye Human Kindness!

A police cruiser came into the intersection right around the time the natives began to get restless and impatient and the officer walked the old lady over to his car and helped her to get in. He seemed to know her so perhaps this hasn’t been a first for her. And as he came to her aid, a few of us rolled our windows down and applauded…hopefully more out of goodness and kindness than happiness that this old lady was now out of our way. I’d like to think that because I like to think that there is more kindness out there in the universe.

If only we all shared more of that kindness…every day…everywhere.


Shall we make a new rule of life…always to try to be a little kinder than is necessary? ~ The Little White Bird, JM Barrie



we choose

With the photo I chose today I wanted to sing the joys that is a back-lit keyboard because it is literally a joy to see the keys so easily.


I might be late to the party, but people, this literally changed my life and as I have become acquainted with my new laptop over the last six months or so I began to wonder why couldn’t this be possible in my workplace because nightshift nurse problems charting in the dark with a black keyboard. I even brought it up at the last staff meeting when we discussed ways to improve the workplace because it seemed like a great idea…to me…the girl with low vision who is trying to see the keys on her black keyboard in the dark while she is charting…nightshift nurse problems for sure. Some agreed…and some did not…as we do because we do…disagree sometimes. We have our preferences and we do choose…because we can.

This last weekend was a tough one globally.  Many of us reacted in very human ways being human and all because there were 129 dead in Paris, 43 dead in Beirut, 18 dead in Bagdad. There was also a 7.0 earthquake in Japan that triggered a tsunami near Kyushu as well as a 4.3 earthquake in Baja California. Also one can not forget the 147 dead in Kenya…that happened more than 7 months ago. More globally aware people on social media sniffed as they would remind anyone and everyone who dared to change profile pictures with the French flag filter or the Eiffel tower drawing by Jean Julien of these things…these things that are so much more important. The trouble with such presumptions and assumptions of our global myopia is that you are wrong…really…and you make an ass out of you in front of me.

Have to say that has always been my favorite rhyme for remembering commonly misspelled words because it is so true…truly.

“Yes, so much bad happened this weekend…as it does, sadly, almost every day.

But we can choose that which we will focus on.

In that same time period more than 362,000 babies were born.

6,200 couples got married in the United States alone.

Some people met the love of their lives. Some got engaged. There were first dates, first steps, first words. There was laughter and friendship and love. There was moments of joy both big and small.

And here we are. We can choose what we put into the world. Choose love. Choose kindness. Choose joy.

It’s a new week; make it a good one.”

Me, I will choose to keep the French flag overlay on my social media profile because I choose that for now. Tomorrow I will most likely change it to honor World Prematurity Day because that is something VERY important to me too.

And I will choose to lobby for backlit keyboards in the workplace because being able to actually see the keys on the keyboard while charting on my patients in the dark is indeed a nightshift nurse problem.

Thank you, Megan Gordon for such inspiring words that said pretty much what I was feeling.



belongs right here

“Just cheer up” is almost universally looked at as the most unhelpful depression cure ever. It’s pretty much the equivalent of telling someone who just had their legs amputated to “just walk it off.” …well-meaning people will tell me that I’m keeping myself from recovering because I really “just need to cheer up and smile.” That’s when I consider  chopping off their arms and then blaming them for not picking them up their severed arms so they can take them to the hospital to get reattached.

~ Furiously Happy – Jenny Lawson

Now how in the world does the above passage have anything to do with sailing on the San Francisco Bay on the most perfect Fall day?

Probably no connection at all; except for the fact what I was thinking and feeling in the moment as I saw this sailboat while cruising on the bay that glorious, perfect Fall day this past Saturday, What a different place I am at from where I was a year ago. It’s not that I am no longer struggling with depression and anxiety, but rather that I am continuing to struggle with it…but the struggle is a good thing in the sense that I am, struggling that is. Struggling means that I am getting up and leaning into the headwinds that try to knock me down and keep me down.

Perhaps this photo belongs in this blog post after all!

Meanwhile, I was smiling a lot this weekend because there was so much good to feel good about…as opposed to feeling shitty because there is so much shitty to feel. Basically, right now, I’m going with the flow, letting the winds help to move me along…again a lot like that sailboat was on the bay.

Yeah, this photo totally belongs in this blog post!


the hardest parts

I have always said that my most favorite age and stage in the lives of each of my children is this one, the one they are in now…except for the adolescence of my first born. Don’t judge. She agrees. It was hard on both of us. And we both lived to tell the tale.

Thank gawd!

But yes, the best part in the lives of my individual children is this part right now when you are asking me what is the best part.

And it is often also the hardest part.

Sharing a moment with one of my grown circus clowns, we discussed just this. We talked about potty training and how she remembers the day I gave up and put her back in diapers because we both weren’t ready. I remember relief and later feeling vindicated when two months down the road she was ready and accident free. She remembers feeling so mad and sad that I put her back in diapers.

OMG, she was 2½! She remembers that!

And sharing a glass or two or more of wine, we recall each age and stage…the big sister worship, the picking on the baby sister, the silly times, the hard times, the scary times, the fun times.

And now here we are, sharing wine together…and she shares what’s going on in her life right now I am wishing we were back in the days of potty training battles because potty training was a lot easier than this is right now. This part where they are grown up and they make mistakes and they deal with consequences and tears and fears and heartbreak and mommy can’t fix it is hard. Too hard sometimes. I could easily dispense my wealth of wisdom telling her what she must do. But in spite of the wine…or because of the wine, I just listen because just listening is what she wants, what she needs the most right now…and hugs and wine and The Kitten Bowl that I dvr’d especially for her.

This parenting gig gets harder and harder I swear. What I wouldn’t give for a little potty training right now…seriously.

Sorry millennial parents! The hardest part of parenting, like the very best part, is the here and the now.

Hang in there.

I am.



even more than a good, brave man

Of course we all know that last week was Martin Luther King Day which of course means a holiday for most folks…and the perfect time to maybe catch a good movie about an American Hero…which would be why American Sniper scored 105.3 million at the box office last weekend.

Don’t get me started…

The days leading up to Martin Luther King Day and after is also the perfect time for American school children to learn about the man and what he accomplished in the times that he lived; which is what Daniel has been doing…as he does every year since preschool. Last week, as I helped study for his test on Dr. King on Friday, I was struck with the fact that this time he was learning much more than him being a good man, a great man, a brave man with a dream for all American children. As a student his age should. Together we studied and talked about segregation, voting rights, peaceful activism, the Nobel Peace Prize and assassination at the hand of a sniper. And I was struck with the consideration my son had as he expressed his understanding of the subject of Dr. King that we were studying together and recent events in the news. It really is hard not to draw some comparisons whether one is a thoughtful, curious 6th grader or a musician accepting an award for Best Original Song in a Motion Picture.

So we made plans for this weekend.

We spent Sunday afternoon watching a film about American Heroes.





And as we watched the pivotal scene where some 8,000 marchers (Black, White, Asian, Latino along with spiritual leaders from many religions and creeds) walked across the Edmund Pettus Bridge with Martin Luther King, Daniel reached for my hand and whispered, “They did it!

Yes, they did.

American heroes…all of them.

Of course, as it always is in history, there is much more to the story; and there is the reality of today. May my son always continue in his thoughtful curiosity to learn and understand.

Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, “What are you doing for others?”
~Martin Luther King