Category Archives: friends

that awkward moment…

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Having been a somewhat shy and definitely awkward person most of my life I have had more than my fair share of awkward moments…

Waaa-aaay more than my fair share!

My most recent bugged the hell out of a few people…or perhaps they couldn’t see the humor in what I had to say. Then again my darling husband has often warned me that I am lousy at telling jokes. It’s the awkward in me. But yes, I insulted a few people…dare I say pissed off perhaps one. I’m only guessing given the reaction of others in our circles.

It was awkward.

Even more awkward was when someone reached out to me, in a gesture of friendship during that awkward moment of mine. Willingly, I accepted because we move in the same circle. Why not accept their friendship? This is what people do sometimes, you know when they move in the same circles and share common interests or activities.

Right?

Of course.

Usually.

Until, after reaching out with an offer of friendship they then proceed to do something completely unexpected. Um, actually it was kind of outrageous and downright rude. Unless it is cool to publicly attack your child. Yes, YOUR child. Oh and cast judgment on parenting skills…because of their obvious qualifications.

I was once a super parenting expert too…before I had children and when Hollie was a small one. I knew EXACTLY how other people should be caring for their children…especially if I didn’t know them very well. Then I got busy raising my five children, weathering through adolescence and hormones times FOUR and seeing three make it to adulthood. Yeah, I was an expert too uniquely qualified like that until shit got real.
Humbling…very humbling.
That’s Karma.
But now it’s gratifying. Really gratifying. Especially when I see my kids show integrity, honesty and loyalty when others aren’t looking…like one did that ultimately led to my bad joke that started all of this awkwardness.

Sorry, my snark is showing just a little.

What can I say? That was a pretty awkward moment. A REALLY awkward moment.

It gets you to thinking late at night…

wondering…

What the hell was your motivation when you were “making friends” with me?

How did you even know about that awkward attempt at humor? Sure it was public but you weren’t there to witness my attempt at humor. You came after the fact…after you extended your hand in friendship

No, I won’t judge whatever motivated you. I won’t even judge you for what you imagined was a justified public attack against MY child. After all you did reach out to apologize to her. Thank you for that.

I will wonder why you couldn’t just ask me what the hell was my problem joking around like that? Calling me out, not my child, for the thing that I said would likely be acceptable because you seek to back up someone we both know. Someone whom we both regard as a friend…a GOOD friend.

Then I will ponder why those who might have been hurt and pissed couldn’t just come to me on their own because I thought that we were friends. We certainly have been pretty close the last eight years. We’ve done business together for those eight years…good business. We’ve grown close, shared laughter and tears and confidences…you know, the way friends do.People who have been that close for that long certainly could call on one another when such awkwardness happens…and possibly hurts.

Awkward.

of pinstrosities and other crimes against humanity

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You know, there is only so much shit one can pin on Pinterest before one must actually do something about all those pins. Wear it, make it, eat it, drink it, do it. Please, do it…or you are just wasting time pinning way too much useless stuff.

And sometimes a girl just needs to enjoy a night with other girls, her sisters and daughters in arms. Let the guys howl at the moon.

The ladies gathered at the Jacqueiros Mansion wearing, making, eating and drinking that which they all have been pinning up on PInterest.

We arrived with yummy salads, cheesy pretzels, booze-y chocolate dipped and filled peppers, sangrias and other drinks (all recipes we discovered on Pinterest) ready to craft some craft ideas pinned on some of our Pinterest boards.

I came armed with the booze-y, chocolate-ly peppers and the spiced rum that they soaked in. Seriously yum with a spicy kick. More on that later.

There was so much yumminess. It’s a good thing I run, I’m just saying.

And there was so much craftiness…and stories shared…and laughter…and love…

and a few Pinstrosities…followed by even more laughter.

And once the girl-children were all tucked into bed, it was time to really let our hair down, enjoy some more wine, sangria or (for the brave) the booze-y, chocolate-ly peppers and play Cards Against Humanity.

Oh dear!

Best.

Game.

Ever.

And yes, one of the best nights shared with family and friends this year.

And what have YOU been doing with the shit you have been pinning on Pinterest?

 

 

twas the week after Christmas

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Just another week, then again not. I mean it WAS the week after Christmas.

A week to enjoy a good cup of coffee. And a week to get to know your new technology.

and leave your Mommy’s alone.

A week where we enjoyed visits from baby unicorns

listening to good music

and NOT propping our dirty shoes up on the sofa.

But it wasn’t all relaxing and playing around.

We had x-rays and an MRI…planned and routine with good news…good news we have waited ten years for. Lesson learned: don’t listen to know-it-all-assholes who presume to know you and your family and the decisions you make for your family’s health and well-being better than you do….ALL the assholes!

There was time to recover from anesthesia…for the MRI.

and bad colds…and bad hair days.

Unfortunately there isn’t much one can do about the bad hair days except just power on through.

Or you just laugh about them.

Yeah, definitely laugh.

Then get back to enjoying the holidays making plans to get with your friends.

and share a little bit of cheer

and sparkle as you prepare to say goodbye to 2012 and hello to the adventures that will be 2013.

This final week of Focus 52 prompt was what we all are up to this last week of 2012.

Happy New Year everyone!

and to figure out new technology.

where is the light today

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I had already prepared a little light-hearted bit of fluff for my blog featuring a cute, happy, smiling, clapping toddler but coming home from dropping my two youngest children off to school for the day to sad news…horrible news…WTF kind of news I just could not publish it. Not today.

Catherine‘s sweet nephew, Tanner, is no longer able to breathe on his own. Yes Tanner of Tutus for Tanner fame. It just doesn’t seem fair.

Then I turned on the news and…

Yes.

Again.

We could discuss mental illness and guns and Second Amendment rights and what not and my bleeding heart would likely explode. But it doesn’t change the fact that twenty boys and girls…KINDERGARTENERS kissed their mommies and daddies goodbye for the day and skipped off into their classrooms for a day at school…where they should be safe. Instead they laid bloodied and shot alongside teachers and a principal who tried to protect them from such evil, dark insanity.

Such darkness there just did not seem to allow room for light-hearted fluff. How could anyone see it in such darkness?

I could not.

So instead I followed the news of the events unfolding and watched the President choke back tears as he remembered beautiful, little kids between the ages of 5 and 10 years old and he called us all to come together and take meaningful action to prevent more tragedies like this, regardless of the politics.

I went for a 4 mile run hoping to make sense of today’s sadness because I do some of my best thinking when I am running. Unfortunately answers did not come. But the tears did.

I held my breath when I learned that dear Victoria was waiting to hear from family of the whereabouts of her 6 year old nephew, a student at Sandy Hook Elementary. Then I cried bitter, sad tears later when I learned that her nephew, Noah, was one of the victims of today.

Where is the light today?

I waited at Daniel’s school during the afternoon pickup weeping…weeping for Tanner, for Noah and for so much loss today. Then the bell rang and the boys and girls came rushing out of the gate. For them it was the joy of school being out and, hurray, it is the weekend. For the parents waiting it was the joy of being able to hold their babies, hug them and kiss them. There was so much hugging. Again the tears began to roll down my face. Daniel approached the car and I wrapped him into my arms and held on for as long as I could.

“Mom, why are you hugging me so long?”, he asked.

Choking back tears I reply, “Because it has been a very sad day.”

“Well then I need to hug you more, Mom!”, and he did.

And then there was a tiny spark of light in that beautiful boy’s face and his warm hug. Still it was bittersweet as I thought of families today who did not get to hug their children and won’t be any more like I was hugging mine.

We all find ourselves in this cold, dense darkness and we all are desperate for light, any light because even the smallest of light can overpower the darkest of darkness. Those of us with our families near cling to the light that shines from them; and yes, the darkness will be scattered in the brightness of their light, no matter how tiny it might be.

We are blessed people…don’t ever doubt that.

But tonight, while you hug your children, pray for Tanner’s family, pray for Noah’s family, pray for the families of Sandy Hook.

Tomorrow we must take action. We must. The light we are fortunate enough to possess can only chase away this darkness if we stand up with it and move forward. We must. For the children…for our children. Our children deserve the right to feel safe in movie theaters, in shopping centers, in places of worship, in malls and at school and not fear being gunned down.

holiday runs

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I got me some new kicks. Kind of pretty, aren’t they? They feel pretty good on the runs that I have taken them out on too.

I’m hard on my shoes…really hard. Well, except for those Loubies because I can’t walk very well in those because I am clumsy and awkward. But I do look amazing wearing them and sitting or standing in one place. Actually, I look hot! But yes, I am hard on my shoes. These Mizunos are my 3rd pair of running shoes that I have bought this past year. One pair was trashed and never the same again after that mud run my son in law challenged me to. As for the others, well there are a number of opinions swirling around as to when a runner should replace their shoes. Me, I am a listen to your body while running kind of girl. My shins and knees don’t lie and when I choose to ignore them, or other body parts, I pay for it. So I listen…and I get myself some new, pumped up kicks.

Just in time for the Runner’s World Holiday Run Streak.

Yup!

I’m running that again.

It really is not such a big feat and it really doesn’t take that much time…one mile…less than 11 or 12 minutes. But after last year, I came to discover just how important it proved to be for me. The stress is different this year coupled with anxieties and just the struggle of getting up some days so, again, I need to be running in order to juggle this life under the Big Top. Thank goodness I have something cute (and more than functional) on my feet!

Meanwhile, because it is Christmas time under the Big Top, it is time to deck some halls, which I confess, is kind of hard to get all excited about and motivated to do…except for the fact that Daniel is all over it and so is Hazel…and Fallon, Fallon is just loving the lights and STUFF that she is determined to get at because they are shiny and look fragile and not meant for a one year old. Oh, and Zoë is coming home for a holiday visit. Yes, the Big Top must be decked…no matter how long it takes. So I hauled out the Christmas boxes, set up the trees, hung some stockings and garland after a 4 mile run earlier this week. I figured that I was already hot and sweaty, I may as well get sweatier.. And I did. While stepping back, basking in my sweaty glow of an awesome run and even more awesome sense of accomplishing at least the start of hall decking, I saw in my blog feed what my friend Linda was doing to with her holiday decorating.

I have to admit I have always wanted to do more with all the medals I earned than hanging them on my scarf rack in the closet. Sure, I haven’t ran any races like I did before. I just can’t afford the fees. But I still run, and wear out running shoes. And I remain very proud of every single medal because I earned them all.

And so I hung them all up on the little tree in our family room.

The one that started it all.

The one that fractured my hip.

And the first time after the hip stress fracture.

Another run with Mickey and Friends, which earned not one but two medals.

It felt so good to wear TWO medals after that race!

Soon enough, I was rocking another half marathon.

Then I PR’d…I give some credit to Linda for cheering me on.

And finally, my birthday gift from my son in law where my blinding, white legs really weren’t an issue because they were covered in mud…as was every other part of me.

And here it is, the holiday running tree. It’s a tree decorated with so many memories. It might not be the Christmas-iest of trees here under the Big Top, but it has just as much heart, soul, love, tears and hugs covering it. That is what makes a Christmas tee special here in my circus tent.

This one is done and it sparkles and glows. Tomorrow the rest of my circus will join me in covering the other ones with even more memories and love and heart and soul and hugs.

But first, I will need to run.