catching a glimpse

The school Spring portraits arrived last week and suddenly I catch a glimpse of the future.

Just a glimpse of the young man my son is becoming. OMG! this is happening much too fast.

And to stop the excessive weeping I focus instead on the backdrop that Lifetouch has posed my son in…or perhaps they DID take him to the banks of the Stanislaus River.

Maybe?

Perhaps.

Yeah, no.

Distracting myself is virtually impossible so I go back to the reality that my boy-child is not the little cherub that he was in kindergarten

:::SOB!:::

I would ask him to slow down but I know that it would be impossible.

Manhood is literally just around the corner.

they break your hearts

Those beautiful, perfect, darling babies you adore? They do. Just accept it now young parents who are literally awe struck by every yawn, fart, sneeze, poopy diaper and sweet cuddly, perfect moment your perfect child shares with you while they are cute and cuddly and perfect.

It seems like it was yesterday that this golden, blonde child of mine was in preschool and brought her baby doll, Bonnie, for picture day. She and I together just yesterday recalled this moment and laughed as she described  how she, as a 4 year old, took the time that morning to dress Bonnie in that perfect, pink dress because it was picture day.  Oh my goodness! This golden, blonde baby girl of mine!

Broke my heart growing up, she did; and then she made me drive for nearly 12 hours to visit ASU for next few days where she will be going to school in the Fall as a Business Major, Dance Minor. Did I tell you that she created her own GoFundMe account to help pay the $$$$ for her college education?

She did.

She also has been working three jobs during her deferral year this year to save $$$$ for her college education.

She never had a graduation party to shamelessly solicit gifts and $$$ most high school grads do so feel free to gift her now at her GoFundMe account.

I’m still mad that she grew up even if she is incredibly smart, hard-working, bossy, talented, beautiful and the perfect 4th daughter any mother could ever ask and pray for.

::::wiping the emotional tears away::::

Time to tour the campus and the W.P. Carey School of Business.

A personal tour of the ASU Tempe campus?

Well, yeah. It’s who you know. This guy, her friend, Michael, is a pretty great tour guide.

Grateful Jodie has a couple friends here already to help her navigate starving student college life away from home because she is my baby girl. But I am still a little…perhaps a lot mad because that sweet, blonde preschooler who took her baby doll, Bonnie, to school broke my heart and grew up.

Bonnie is staying home with me!

no shelf life

As a 52 year old woman, I am struck by conversations related to friends celebrating or avoiding milestone birthdays, women getting older and how we are perceived as we (and the men around us, obviously) get older. Sadly, it seems to me, the majority regard a woman in her 40s or 50s or even 60s as somehow past the expiration date. Friends absolutely dreading the fact that they are turning 40…or mourning their obvious dotage as they pass “dirty thirty“…and it makes me sad just a little.

Age is definitely a relative thing. I wholeheartedly believe the idea that you are as old as you feel; which means I am basically an adolescent sometimes…an adolescent with a few grey hairs, laugh lines, squint lines, grown children and grandchildren. I’m not always an adolescent, but given my taste in music or the fact that I DO know almost every artist and song featured in the latest American Music Awards Show or Grammy nominations, compared to friends my age or 10 years younger…well… Yet, I wholeheartedly embrace the age that I am…grey hairs, creaky joints, laugh lines and everything else. I take very good of this aging shell of mine…and it shows. I take very good care of it because I have children and grandchildren and I definitely want to be around for a long time to watch them grow older. Added bonus is feeling good, perhaps better than other people my age (or younger).

I don’t take care of myself, or put on makeup, or wear jewelry or wear sometimes fashionable, flattering clothing for attention…except maybe perhaps from my darling husband. I know few women my age who dress for the day hoping for attention from a stranger…just like any other woman or girl dresses hoping for unwanted attention.

Why are there people who STILL think like this?

Honestly?!

So, no, telling me that I look pretty for my age is not a compliment.

Of course there is the reality that when a woman reaches a certain age, she, more often than not, is not getting looked at anymore…usually by the men. Ageism is real and women of a certain age become invisible to pretty much everyone…including men their own age. Men my age (and older) won’t give women my age (or even younger) a second glance unless they’re doing us a favor (in their small mind) because as Stevie Nicks pointed out in a recent Rolling Stone interview, “They wanna go out with somebody that’s 25,… So what am I gonna do, compete with that?”

But have you SEEN 66 year old Stevie Nicks?!

Damn girl!

Then there were the women…not the girls…the women at the Golden Globes this past week.

Hey ladies!

Then there is Julianne Moore who proved that people DO want to see a movie about a 50 year old woman, in the prime of her life, as she faces her own mortality and rapid decline.

If I can’t be Helen Mirren when I grow up, I want to be Julianne Moore. Really.

Shelf life?

Invisible?

No way.

Let’s re-think this because we all are getting older. We all are as sexy and smart and empowered and as visible as we chose to be and no one should ever diminish that for us because of the number of candles on our birthday cake this year…or the number of grey hairs, or laugh lines we might have.

 

 

Santa nails it

Yes, it’s true that my nearly thirteen year old son believes still. It’s a fact that everyone, LOVES because…isn’t that the sweetest thing? Of course everyone hasn’t seen his letter and wish list to Santa.

Y’all are lucky!

Just focus on the sweetness of his innocent belief in Christmas magic. I’ll stress about that wish list…of which I had to tell him to STOP adding to. So to distract him, we visit the Big Guy in Red at Dell Osso Farms. Pro tip: this is THE BEST Santa in the Central Valley…no bells and whistles and spaceships and light sabers, no massive line with an endless wait time. Of course, today is Christmas Eve so it is too late for you all this year. But next year…

This guy, he’s the real deal with the twinkling eyes and the merry, rosy cheeks. He’s very photogenic too. He LOVES to talk to the kids and he has the time too because there isn’t the massively long lines with endless wait times. After Daniel carefully explained everything on his wish list, including where to buy and retail price, Santa made that observation that Daniel’s wish list is a very impressive wish list.

Indeed.

Do you like surprises, Daniel?

Sometimes.

Well, Daniel, I think that I want to surprise you this year. I am certain that you will love it come Christmas morning.

And with that, Daniel smiled his biggest, happiest brace-faced smile and warmly hugged his jolly friend in red.

That will do Santa.

That will do.

date night at the museum

Wear something with sparkles, he asks. So I did; because he asked me and it’s date night.

Anything for him because it is date night!

Date Night at the Museum!

It was a perfect date night too. We held hands. Shared pretzels and cheese because popcorn is a no with braces. There was much laughter and whispered conversation about ancient Egyptian burial practice, helping to scatter his great grandmother’s ashes at a place she loved, Christianity, Judaism, Hanukkah, Jesus and Pompeii. We also talked about the fact that this was Robin Williams‘ last onscreen feature film performance and I mentioned that it was also Mickey Rooney’s too. Yes, he asked, Who? I’ll try to rectify that. The best part, besides the sweet good night kiss? My date insisted that we sit through and watch the credits because I love to do that. A first because he usually wants to leave as soon as the story fades to black and in the past has been quite vocal about being forced to sit as the closing credits roll.

It would seem that my date is growing up.

From my date and me, two thumbs up. It’s a fun finale to the Night At The Museum series with a lot of laughs, a little bit of history and definitely some poignant moments.

As for our date night, I can’t wait for the next time. Watching the previews before the movie, we have a list prepared.