when I find myself in times of trouble


Sometimes life is just not much fun which I explain to my young adult children is why it sucks to be a grownup. I told them when they were younger too but they never listened then as children anxious to be grown up never do.

Today was one of those days where life pressed down a little too hard…a migraine…the eye twitchy thing…worrying about work (or lack of) and finances and a broke-ass car that we can’t afford to replace but replace we must and my kids (as their mom I always do worry every damn day because I’m their mom, dammit!)…dealing with my brother’s texts full of lectures and fears about Mommy Dearest’s colonoscopy because routine is never a reality for them which only served to amp up the eye twitchy thing into hyper-drive…and a scary-assed, WTF-is-happening-around-us, near miss driving from Stockton with my son in the car this afternoon. Quite frankly I just wanted to curl up into a ball and weep and wait for sleep or relief from any of what was pressing down upon me too hard to come.

And then the neighbors came over.

This kind of helps.

Actually it helps a lot.

ask the pro


Planning a wedding? Need to know all that you need to know about flower girl duties? You’ve got to ask a pro.

Hazel Faye is that pro having flower girl-ed at her Mommy and Daddy’s wedding.

and for her mommy’s life-long bestest friend where she not only tossed those petals like nobody’s business but also offered the sagest of advice for the bride.

But you better hurry because her wedding calendar is filling up fast as she tries on flower girl dresses for the next wedding that she’ll be in.

Have no fear, beautiful bride to be, she’s got this.

her baby gap


Hazel, unlike pretty much all of her kindergarten-graduates-going-into-first-grade-peers, has not lost her first baby tooth yet. Yes, this means that the tooth fairy has not visited her yet. Ask her and she will tell you that she is the ONLY one.

Her mama told me the same thing when she was a kindergarten graduate going into first grade. At that age, Hollie was absolutely certain that she would never, ever lose her baby teeth like her toothless friends were. She was so worried that we asked her dentist about it. He assured us both that it was all good…it was even to Hollie’s dental health advantage that she wasn’t losing all of her baby teeth in rapid fashion like her peers.

Easy for him to say.

He wasn’t the only soon to be first grader at Hollie’s school who hadn’t lost even one baby tooth.

Then…a miracle happened…

Hollie lost her first tooth during the first week of first grade.

A heavenly host of tooth fairies sang hallelujahs that wonderful day because it was a miracle.

Hollie declared it to be and so it was. She even wrote about it for her very first first grade writing assignment. Her story, “The Miracle” was one of Mrs. Miller’s favorites that year and, perhaps for years to come as she still was talking about Hollie’s story when she taught Hollie’s sisters.

I offer to Hazel that it might be okay that she hasn’t lost a baby tooth yet because she is her mother’s daughter.

Hmmm…. is how she responds. She’s not buying that. She is her mother’s daughter…in more ways than one.

It will happen soon enough. Until then I am going to savor every moment of her beautiful gap-toothed smile that I have loved since she has had teeth.

My kids’ orthodontist loved it too back when Hazel was just a baby explaining to me that this was to her advantage when her much larger, permanent teeth would come through as there would be ample room for them. So if she needed orthodonture in the future her gap would not be “fixed”, I asked? No need to fix something as wonderful as that gap was Dr. D’s opinion and answer. That’s one more reason why I love my kids’ orthodontist…even if I don’t have full access to that Tahoe vacation home I have helped to pay for over the years…literally years…like six years and more to come…soon Daniel hopes.

I so deserve to have access to that Tahoe vacation home.

Soon enough Hazel will catch up to her almost first grade peers and will be practically toothless just like them. Until then I am going to savor her glorious, bright, happy, gap-toothed smile.

…and I am going to wish, hope and pray that her adult teeth have the same beautiful gap because I have made Hollie take a blood oath swearing not to allow any orthodontist to fix any gap-toothed smile she might have because it’s perfect.

little me


Last summer when Hazey-Face auditioned for the Dance Stars team, she told her dance coach that more than anything she wished to do a duet with her Auntie Jodie.

She really does look up to Jodie.

Kind of hard not to when your auntie’s feet seem to rarely touch the ground.

Since this was to be Jodie’s last recital as student and teacher, Hazel’s wish was granted today.

Little me

Yeah you got a lot of time to act your age,
You cannot write a book from a single page,
Hands on the clock only turn one way,

Run too fast and risk it all,
Can’t be afraid to take a fall,
Felt so big but you looked so small,

Wish I knew back then,
What I know now,
Wish I could somehow,
Go back in time and maybe listen to my own advice…

You gotta speak up, you gotta shout out,
And know that right here, right now,
You can be beautiful, wonderful,
Anything you wanna be,

Little me

How fitting that they would choose this song, Little Me, since Hazel is basically Jodie’s mini-me. True story, at dance competitions people backstage will ask if Hazel is Jodie’s little girl…which would mean that Jodie was a mommy at age 12…

Um, NO!

Not that I have never seen that happen. Sadly, I have. Jodie would have been so grounded forever if that ever happened to her. Don’t think I wouldn’t. Why not ask if they are sisters…you know, since they share the same last name?

I’m sorry.

There I go again, off on another tangent.

Back to the sweetness…

Isn’t this so sweet?

Aren’t they just adorable?

Don’t they just make you want to cry because of the sweetness, the tenderness, and the years just blurring by as we witness the magical moment between Jodie and her Little Me?

Hazel’s mommy and I have decided that these two are so grounded for like forever for making us (and pretty much everyone in the audience) cry today.

Thankfully, their dance coach knew this just might wring my already emotional because-it-is-Jodie’s-last-recital heart out and she was prepared with her gift to me.

Today I learned that after nine years of dancing and recitals and competing, when it is your kid’s last dance recital as student and teacher, you get wine…because Dance Moms do like their wine. Harmony knows me so well…perhaps too well.

Jodie and Hazel are still in so much trouble.

 

and now she is six


This girl.

This girl who likes long walks, arts and crafts, reading books, Harry Styles and dance…of course…

especially shadow dancing…is SIX YEARS OLD today!

Yeah. Time flies and all that crazy talk.

Happy, happy birthday Hazel Faye!