things that don’t go together


A weekend in a hotel for the Hollywood Vibe Dance Convention and Competition and YOU have to study and take the online portion of your Neonatal Resuscitation Program renewal test. Doesn’t that sound like a workable thing? Oh, I forgot, you are bringing along your 12 year old boy because your darling husband is working through the weekend. You know, the sweet boy of yours with sensory processing issues? Don’t forget that your grandgirl, who also dances, will be there for part of the weekend too.

No! YOU thought this would be totally easy and doable.

Of course you did. Until you got there at the hotel…where the dance convention is being held…crowded with lots of other families from lots of other dance studios there…with lots and lots of very excited kids because OMG!!! Kent Boyd is here too!!!! A lot of dance moms were overly excited too. Still, you imagine this will be doable. The kids will be in dance classes from 7:30 AM until well into the afternoon and then they dance competitively through the night until around midnight all weekend long. You’ll have time for sure you tell yourself.

Heh!

Did you forget the son you brought along?

But there’s a pool. He can swim. He has video games. He can keep himself entertained while you are studying and logging on to take that 9 part test. He’s a good boy. Your husband will be picking him up Saturday afternoon. You end up repeating that last sentence over and over again because he is a 12 year old boy and the last thing he wants to do is entertain himself. Your husband will be picking him up Saturday afternoon…

Did I forget to tell you that there is a hockey tournament happening here too and there are all kinds of hockey teams here with hockey players the same ages as all those dancers? Oh, and with hockey teams come hockey parents. Hockey parents who are more than okay with letting their kids play hockey IN THE HOTEL ROOM NEXT TO YOURS in the evening…until you asked them not to because it sounded like someone was being murdered in the next room which distracted you from studying and REALLY stressed out your 12 year old…the one with sensory processing issues. Apparently hockey dad didn’t think this was a problem until you told him that you thought that it might be…so he sends the kids out into the hall to play hockey. Yes. Because apparently on every floor there are kids playing hockey. They are also playing hockey in the hotel lobby too while their parents are doing celebratory shots Saturday night because their kids won the tourney.

YEAH Junior Kings!!!

Did I forget to tell you that the Internet connection is very spotty? The Internet connection you have to pay for because of course this hotel isn’t going to offer complimentary wi-fi to their guests.

So the connection keeps dropping while you are taking your test. There are hockey games, loud hockey games happening everywhere. Your son wants to go back to the pool an hour after he decided that he was tired of swimming but can’t possibly wear the swim trunks he wore because he wore them and they are wet. Any parent with a kid on the Spectrum gets that. If you don’t get that all I can say is, I’m sorry. Your grandgirl is REALLY upset because she can’t go swimming because her day is filled with dance classes and dance competition. You’re very thankful that your dancer is old enough to get herself to and from her dance classes but there are still the dances she is dancing in…and the grandgirl is dancing in. What kind of dance mom/mima would you be if you didn’t watch these kids dance?

You know what? None of this mixes well together at all.

Not.

At.

All.

So the next time you find yourself in hotel with your kids for a dance convention and there are also lots of hockey teams there too with hockey kids and hockey parents and you have work you must do for work that requires Internet access DON’T DO IT!!!

Just don’t.

Dance convention and competition is enough. It really is.

I know that my dancers think so. Hang in there girls…only five more hours to go then we go home.

YEAH!

Excuse me, I have to get back to trying to take my test before the wi-fi cuts out again.

 

fashionista


“It matches because of the skirt.”
-Hazel Faye

Yes.

See what happen when you refuse to let your little girl wear her favorite sundress on a cold, blustery winter day? You dress her funny on purpose and then she grows up to become mommy to a true fashionista.

Seriously.

Why was this look not on the runways during Fashion Week?

WHY????!!!!

 

 

princess meetup


“It’s Cinderella!”

This weekend, Fallon saw Cinderella dance on stage with some of her princess friends including: Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Belle, Ariel and Pocahontas. But the only one she noticed, the only one she saw, the only one she cared about was Cinderella.

“It’s Cinderella!”, she cried as she was jumping up and down pointing at the stage with excitement.

Hazel tried to correct her, telling her that it was Jodie but Fallon was not buying that…I mean big sisters sometimes do tell tall tales.

“It’s Cinderella!”

Do you want to meet Cinderella?“, I ask Fallon. Her eyes widened as she pondered the possibility that she could meet Cinderella! I get that. Cinderella has always been my favorite princess too.

Best!

Day!

Ever!

And Jodie, er, Cinderella came off stage and made her way to where we were sitting and knelt down and hugged Fallon…as a princess would do.

Sorry, no picture of that magical moment; but if you close your eyes…

See it!

Magic, is it not?

damned if they do, damned if they don’t


So there I was, sitting in the outpatient registration waiting room of a local hospital with Hazel Faye.

Don’t ask. It was no big deal. Really. But yes, there Hazel and I were sitting in the waiting room with the Fox News Network blaring shrilly as it does in the waiting room of outpatient registration of our local hospital. I’m not sure why it must be Fox News, but it is.. Maybe because we are quite possibly in the fifth circle of Hell sitting in an outpatient waiting room.

Trust me, the last thing a five year old wants to do while waiting endlessly in a boring waiting room is to listen to some shrill pundit kvetch and moan and tear at their clothes worrying about why the President would appear with Zach Galifnianakis on Between Two Ferns. She also doesn’t find other people in the waiting room shouting at the tv entertaining at all. She’s five. All this is boring; especially sitting in a waiting room.

See?

BORING!

Don’t worry. I’ve got this.

Frozen on Mima’s iPad! You are welcome everyone waiting endlessly in the outpatient waiting room! Hazel is happy. Hazel is entertained. Hazel is sitting still. Hazel is occupied. And save for her quietly singing “Let It Go” (with perfect pitch and sounding great), she is not bothering anyone.

You.

Are.

Welcome.

Except the three older people sitting in the corner aren’t so sure.

Is that a game or something?“, a little old lady shouts out at Hazel.

Hazel looks up briefly and answers back, politely, “No, it’s an iPad.

The little old lady clucks her tongue and looks to her two companions, “Kids! They just can’t do anything but stare at some screen.

“They’re spoiled. Parents can’t be bothered so they give them cellphones and smart computers and games and those ‘Pads’ and tvs.

Yup, they’re spoiled!“:

Parents just don’t care.

The three of them nod together as they look up at Hazel then at me glaring.

Oh for crying out loud!

The first old lady nods in my direction, “How lucky she is her mother can buy her such an expensive thing like an iPad.

Hazel looks up again, rolls her eyes and says matter of factly, “I don’t have an iPad. This is my Mima’s.

I put my arm protectively around Hazel and say out loud, to no one in particular, “Well I guess a kid like you is darned if you do and darned if you don’t.

And Hazel answers back, “Yup!

For the record, I did say darn.

fresh taps


Only a dancer can appreciate how beautiful a brand new pair of tap shoes are fresh out of the box.

Well, the parent of a dancer can appreciate it too…after she is done grousing about what a pain in the butt it has suddenly become to find this certain type of black jazz flexed sole tap shoes…especially for children with tiny, narrow feet.

But that’s another story.

I think that this just might be the last pair of tap shoes that I bought for Jodie.

Perhaps.

I warned y’all that this will likely be a season of lasts.

Maybe.

We shall see.

The first competition of the season went fairly well. Yes, there was a little drama, a lot of stress, hugs, kisses and a few tears but up on that stage our Dance Stars shined.

And the Dance Mom/Mima of these two stars couldn’t ask for anything more.

Now if we could just get over our after-competition-hangover with a little lost-hour-thank-you-Daylight-Savings stirred in for good measure. Thank goodness for Spring Break and staycation!