my curses are for real


I’m starting to regret cursing my children with children JUST LIKE THEM someday. Hazel is just like her mommy at every age and stage that she has been through so far. Soon to be five year old Hazel is just like almost five year old Hollie was…just in case anyone is ever wondering what Hollie was like when she was a little girl.

Oh wait!

Soon to be five year old Hazel does not pray daily, out loud for a baby sister. I am pretty sure her mommy has pointed to my children to show her what happens when you do something like that. But everything else about Hazel is so much like her mommy at that age it is a little bit scary…and pretty cool because Hollie was a pretty awesome little girl. Then she grew into preteens and teens…oh dear…sorry Hollie.

Fallon, on the other hand, is nothing like her mommy at age 18 months. No. Fallon is actually her mommy when she was around age 14…except for the fact that Fallon isn’t potty trained.

I’m thinking since she has spent the last eighteen months raging against the world she has maybe three, maybe four more years of rage left in her…wishing…hoping…praying. I’m sorry Hollie. I am so sorry that I ever cursed you. Then again, your rages often drove me to curse you.

Hang in there baby! If I survived, you can too.

You too, Fallon! I mean your mommy survived. Hurray for being so gosh darn cute!

turning five


Hazel’s very best friend since pretty much birth turned five years old this weekend.

Amelia is six weeks older than Hazel. Yes, that means that Hazel is going to be five…in six weeks…OMG! But this weekend was Amelia’s celebration.

Best moment, besides the birthday girl glowing with five year old happiness and pride had to be when Hazel announced that her best friend was five years old. Trembling with overwhelming happiness she exclaimed, “Ame is FIVE! She is FIVE YEARS OLD!! I’m so happy for her!!!

Turning five is a big, fat, happy deal just in case you didn’t know that already. Thanks to Hazel, I have been reminded of this truth.

OMG! HAZEL IS GOING TO BE FIVE YEARS OLD!! IN SIX WEEKS!!! YES, I’M SHOUTING BECAUSE, OMG!! HAZEL IS GOING TO BE FIVE YEARS OLD!!! IN JUST SIX WEEKS!!!

her routine


Preparing for Hazel’s first dance competition was a bit of a struggle. Okay, fine! It was a big struggle. I mean have YOU ever put false eyelashes and rhinestones on a four year old?

There were tears. She quit. Her mommy reasoned, bargained, bribed to no avail. So Mima had to come in and have a come to Jesus talk with her…because I somehow knew what to say? Well, turns out I did because she agreed…very reluctantly…to let her mother finish the stage makeup and to dance at least that competition, that day. Of course she had fun and soon forgot how weird the eyelashes, eye makeup and rhinestones made her feel.

I told Hollie that it will get easier. At least she has one thing I never had…skill…so she won’t likely ever glue her little girl’s eyelashes shut.

AHEM!

And it was a little bit easier the second time around this weekend There were no tears, no quitting. Mommy didn’t have to reason, bargain or bribe. There were no come to Jesus talks with Mima either. Thank goodness! No this time while Mommy got her stage ready, Mima had to sit on the bathroom floor hold her hands and sing with her…the ABC song, Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star…oh and Teenage Dream and That’s What Makes You Beautiful…as loud as we could.

Hey, you have your getting ready routine and Hazel has hers!

The acoustics in a hotel bathroom are amazing!

and in a flash I am back in 2001


Oh to be 12 years younger! The things I would (and most definitely would not) do. But one can not go back in time…can they?

My darling husband early this morning ran in Dell Osso’s 2nd Annual Mud Run on the Farm. Yes, the same mud run I ran last year. He trained a little with his Krav Maga class that he takes twice a week but I won’t lie to you, I was genuinely concerned about how he would do…considering how heavily he STILL smokes (even when he often finds himself gasping for air after a coughing fit) and considering how high his cholesterol is and that study released this past week linking male patterned baldness to a higher risk of heart disease.I had a dream/nightmare last night that he collapsed while running and then I woke up…HATE when that happens! So this morning, as he headed off to run in the mud and Jodie and I headed off to another dance competition I couldn’t help but be worried.

What can I say, I sometimes often worry for nothing. It’s my nature, it’s who I am, it is a result of decades of bad things happening and my worst fears realized. But, thankfully, Bill did great completing the run and obstacles in the mud in just under an hour.

Way to go, honey!!!

So now I could exhale, relax and enjoy watching Jodie and Hazel dance. Then the phone rings…

Actually it was FaceTime…

Up pops my daughter Zoë. She’s crying. Her face is bruised and bleeding and she is crying. It seems that she was in an accident on her way to work. She crashed her skateboard.

WHAT?!

Yeah, she likes to get from point A to point B on a skateboard and yeah, without a helmet…

Mom, please…

But yes, she crashed her skateboard and hit her head, scraped up her face, chipped a tooth and broke her nose…broke her nose for now the 4th time.

OH dear glob! And people think I’m joking when I declare that she has an exhausted guardian angel who probably cringes every single time she leaves the house.

Every.

Single.

Time.

She is so lucky.

So damn lucky.

And I am perhaps another 20 years older thanks to her latest misadventure.

I might have aged greatly but this picture she sent to me while in the ER in LA took me back 12 years…and not in a good way.

I swear hours later I am just starting to breathe a little bit easier. Thank goodness for a late night run and some wine. My darling husband rocked the mud run today. My dancing daughter, Jodie and my tiny dancing grand daughter, Hazel, both are off to a great start with this weekend’s dance competition earning high awards and my daughter Zoë is home safe in LA under the watchful eye of her boyfriend…and a guardian angel who likely could use a good stiff drink right about now.

kindergarten happens


In every life of every child and every parent comes that day when they are ready for kindergarten. But before then comes…

DUN-DUN-DUN!!!

Kindergarten registration. With the filling out of the necessary forms comes the reality that this precious baby of yours isn’t really a baby anymore which only means that they are growing up….your sweet baby!

That time has come for little Miss Hazel Faye.

I KNOW!!!

How can this possibly be? Our very first Coming Attraction, who was just a baby that we witnessed changing practically every single day is now old enough to start kindergarten. It seems unreal but it is true.

Hazel is going to start kindergarten in the Fall…erm, actually in August…just as soon as her mommy gets her registered.

Hollie came over last night with her assembled papers and in a bit of a panic. She had Hazel’s birth certificate, her Social Security card, a utility bill showing proof of residence, Hollie and Ben’s marriage license because the utility bill has Ben’s last name on it which isn’t the the same as Hazel’s, family court documents showing custody and school registration forms. It all looked to be in order but missing was Hazel’s immunization record. It is then that Hollie shared her panic as she tore apart the house unable to find that little yellow card that is proof that Hazel has had all of her shots. How can she be enrolled without this, Hollie wondered?

I tried to assure her that it was okay. The card can easily be replaced by calling the pediatrician the next day.

“Even if we have changed doctors?!”, she questions.

Yes, even if they had changed doctors. The proof I offered was the fact that I lost Abby’s several times and now have three immunization records for her…because that which is hopelessly lost always turns up after it is replaced…at least that is true here under the Big Top.

Poor Hollie looked so upset and stressed out. It was a tough day for her. I forgot just how hard this kindergarten registration can be. Perhaps I forgot because it was a little more than 20 years since I had to register my child, my first child for the very first time. Yeah, that was one of those moments that I wished my Mommy Dearest was available in my life. I’m glad to be there for my daughter if to at least assure her she has everything she needs and then some and yes, Hazel will be registered and enrolled.

Still Hollie was so stressed. She explained to me the extra care she takes in filing and organizing important things like Hazel’s shot records because she knows she has to take the extra care. Hollie has ADHD. She has learned to live and function just fine with and without meds over the years but I know just how hard it can be for her. I’m her mom. Of course I know. The look on her face and the stress in her voice I have seen and heard before…when she would be truly overwhelmed with all the clutter and chaos and distractions that she could not possibly begin to filter out. I remember one of the very first times where I saw and heard this and realized just how HARD it was for her when her 5th grade math teacher, Mrs. Paradiso, called me during class time with Hollie and her classmates hearing her tell me how my daughter was failing and would never, ever be able to catch up or understand or pass anything in her class because she was failing and on and on she continued until I cut her off. I could not believe this teacher would do this to my child in front of her and her peers. Yes, Hollie was hopelessly disorganized and distracted in her class and yes, she was failing but I told her teacher our conversation was over until after school when it could be just the two of us and then I hung up. After that, I picked up the phone and called the principal telling her what had just happened and asked if we could meet in her office with the math teacher after school. She agreed. It was this encounter that really opened my eyes to what my child lived and struggled with.

She was actually diagnosed months before but I was unconvinced. It seemed to me that everyone I knew had a kid or several kids with the same diagnosis. One of my friends would repeatedly play the ADHD card for every single bad behavior her kids would do which annoyed the heck out of me especially when her kids would behaved badly while with my kids…even my kid with the same diagnosis.

But that phone call from the (in my humble opinion) horrible teacher opened my eyes to that which Hollie was really struggling with. This was very real in spite of my opinion or the opinions of family members who were even more unconvinced than I was…and way too critical and vocal about it, might I add. Hollie needed help and help is exactly what we got, for her and for her parents. With a lot of support, a lot of encouragement and a lot of time, Hollie has learned to adapt with the way her brain works…and sometimes doesn’t work. She does well, thank you very much. Still, sometimes life happens with its own crazy kind of chaos…like when you have to register your first born child for kindergarten.

It happens.

Oh, and Hazel Faye is registered for kindergarten!

I Know!!!