kids, here are 10 things I may or may not have told you

You made me cry…a lot

Hollie and me – 1987. No apologies for the hair and glasses because 1987.

I wanted that last piece of pie…cake…cookie

Hollie, Zoë and me, 1992. Yes, those are matching Christmas sweaters. A gift. Funny how my darling husband didn’t receive one.

It hurt.

Hollie, Zoë, Abby and me, 1994. One child might never forgive me for this picture.

I was always afraid…still am…don’t judge, especially if you are not my child.

Hollie, Zoë, Abby, Jodie and us, 1996. Apparently we didn’t realize just how busy we were then as people told us ALL THE TIME that “we must be busy.

I know that I am not perfect.

And the Family Circus is completed, 2002. Also the year where any doubts of me being a perfect Mother were solidly squashed. Have a teenager and you will understand.

I watched you as you slept…still do.

Hollie, 1990

I carried you a lot longer than nine months.

Zoë, 1998

It broke my heart every time you cried.

Abby, 1997

I put you first.

Jodie, 1999

I would do it all over again…times five…to the infinity power.

Daniel, 2008

Kids, I can’t begin to express my gratitude that I get to be your Mother, Mommy, Mom, times five…to infinity and beyond.

I thank you all for calling me Mama, Mommy, Mom, Mommy Dearest, OMG-Mom, Mother; and, thank you , for needing me, teaching me, forgiving me, loving me, accepting me, modeling me and, most of all, amazing me because I get to say that I am Mom to these five remarkable people.

BONUS!! I have to say that I must be a pretty okay mom because these two perfectly, exquisite children  call me Mima…and give the best hugs.

 

no weasels were teased in this post

You can knit a kitten mittens
And perhaps that cat would purr.
You could fit a fox with socks
That exactly matched his fur.
You could make a goat a coat with a collar trimmed in mink
Or give a pig a wig
In a dainty shade of pink.
But never tease a weasel;
This is very good advice.
A weasel will not like it
And teasing isn’t nice!

A long, long time ago in a land far, far away called Mooncrest I literally read this book so many times that I had memorized it.

Never Tease A Weasel was a favorite of my brothers and sister. There were so many reasons to love this book in both the words and images. Bold, bright colors and wonderful rhymes that clearly paint a picture of all the reasons why we should never tease a weasel because it’s fun to be friends with a weasel instead. Yes, I read this to Randy, Billy and Valerie so many times to the point that the eminently repeatable refrains did become a part of  my familiar quotations.

A very familiar Mom-quote especially for this Fab Four. Growing up, they heard far too many times that they should never tease a weasel…or a sister…because teasing isn’t nice. And they often would roll their eyes because honestly Mom what does a weasel have to do with me teasing my sister anyway? Years later it has become a memory the four of them share and often laugh about…their mom telling them not to tease a weasel (there I’ve said it thrice!). Where in the world did that come from really they wondered out loud recently?

So of course I had to find the book because my grand babies need to learn that it is okay to knit a kitten mittens, give a moose some juice or bake a drake a cake…along with understanding that teasing is not nice.

If only I could find the original 1964 edition that doesn’t cost $30-60 or more.

no apologies for the cuteness

With holidays comes adorable Easter dresses.

Bonus if they are dressed alike because what can be more adorable…

…especially when the darlings are at an age where they can’t really complain and protest. Actually at this age they LOVE it! So seize it while you can.

It’s a very narrow window of time when you can truly get away with such cuteness…

…and enjoy the total cooperation; because it’s fun that we are all dressed the same!

Remember that when the day comes (and it WILL come) when the kids look at these memories and then back at you wondering out loud, “What the hell were you thinking, Mom?!

Then you smile back at them because you have no apologies for such cuteness and you are absolutely certain that someday they will do it to their children too.

Scroll back to the top if you don’t believe me.

slowing so the magic can happen

I could lie and tell you all that it’s been a stellar week in wife-dom and mommy-hood but some of you know me too well. I did shoot for excellence but the darling husband and some of those kids just got in the way , as they always do.

Adjusting continues with the resting and rehabilitation for Bill. And he pushes perhaps too hard. Naturally just when I start to nag or cry or fret or worry it is clear that his body is already nagging at him almost as good as I would. Still, I nag anyway because we both wouldn’t expect anything less from me and besides, he is pale and looking like he has done too much and OMG…why is he not following doctor’s orders??!!

Oh, he has no idea how much I am restraining myself…until one of my darling clowns does what apparently at that moment is the unthinkable. I mean, who is going to take your special-middle-aged-lady-face-cleanser from your shower without asking and then not even bother to return it?

Right?!

There is talk that I might have gone a little bit over the top handling this incident…after my darling husband told me he took the dog for a walk jog around the block…against doctor’s orders…but it was no big deal…except that it was clearly as I look at him. Yes, I might have transferred a little bit of that anxiety and stress on one of my clowns.

I offer no apology.

I blame the kid and the husband.

After we all took a deep cleansing breath, they did too.

Yes, we all are still adjusting.

It’s a good thing my darling husband made an appointment today for me to be pampered at our darling 1st daughter’s salon before the STEMI. I am guaranteed always anything hair related from Hollie gratis because I gave her life and all that but I know time in her chair, at her salon, is money that she works very hard for. Her time is limited and her client list is growing and growing to the point that people wait to sit in her chair. How, then I rationalize, can I sit in her chair taking time from paying clients? So I have her work her magic in her kitchen or mine while trying to juggle her busy, busy babies. Except Hollie and the darling husband decided that I can and I should so the appointment was made…and the appointment I kept.

I could get used to this.

We spent a few hours together. Her busily making me ginger-er (with a lot of purple) and trimming the latest pixie grow…which I have to say is the best of all my pixie grows ever thanks to Hollie’s talent and skills.

And we laughed.

We talked about the crazy tech-phobe moms in our school district and on Facebook.

And music.

And the young Justin Bieber hair stage of a pixie grow.

And Britney Spears’ weaves.

And Hunter Moore and the last time we talked about him and what a douche he was and hurray for karma!

And new adventures.

And her amazing babies.

And getting older and how she better never, ever talk to me like I’m two when I am super old even if my mind is addled because I’ll still know because back in the day in  nursing school, believe me, those beautiful old people knew their adult children were doing that to them.

I feel very strongly about that last discussion and made it very clear to her…,and perhaps someone in the chair next to me.

Oh, and I marveled to myself, what an amazing human this person who is a part of me is…the first human who is a living part of me!

And she makes me pretty and ginger-ed.

I leave her salon feeling lovely with my sexy, sexed-up hair that is even more almost a bob and I feel overwhelming love and pride for this adult baby girl of mine. I’d go back into her salon and hug her while gushing with pride and love and tears in front of co-workers and the client in her chair but that would be awkward and not right…not right at all.

She might never, ever let me sit in her chair again.

No, I’ll just enjoyed my sexed up hair, which the darling husband likes and random vet tech noticed and complimented when I dropped Zelda-kitty off for her appointment after…and I will give thanks for slowing down today so I can sit in my daughter’s chair for a few hours today and let the magic happen. Then I will smile because I know that magic happens because I’m her mommy.

humoring mom

Twas just 5 days before Christmas and perhaps a little hungover from a NICU cocktail party, tired from the Dance Stars Christmas Dance Recital and relieved after sending off that final gift and getting all the other gifts under The Big Top tree, I felt like celebrating because that is what the best holiday elves do.

How to celebrate?

Well, Kristen and LIz from Cool Mom Picks inspired me. #babythenandnow is absolutely a fun idea. Bonus is it takes little energy because other than doing laundry (my life), all I want to do the rest of today is relax because my work week, including Christmas Eve night promises to be busy. Oh, and then there is Christmas.

Of course the challenge is to get these circus clowns to do it because they are at work or playing in San Francisco or shopping or just super annoyed because we are twelve turning thirteen very, very soon. Yes, they are quite certain that I am crazy. Then there is my darling husband. Yeah, he definitely didn’t want any part of this silliness because he is sliding fast into get-off-my-lawn grumpy old man status.

Whatever, family. Just do it.

And so they do.

I love my babies! Then and now.