my curses are for real


I’m starting to regret cursing my children with children JUST LIKE THEM someday. Hazel is just like her mommy at every age and stage that she has been through so far. Soon to be five year old Hazel is just like almost five year old Hollie was…just in case anyone is ever wondering what Hollie was like when she was a little girl.

Oh wait!

Soon to be five year old Hazel does not pray daily, out loud for a baby sister. I am pretty sure her mommy has pointed to my children to show her what happens when you do something like that. But everything else about Hazel is so much like her mommy at that age it is a little bit scary…and pretty cool because Hollie was a pretty awesome little girl. Then she grew into preteens and teens…oh dear…sorry Hollie.

Fallon, on the other hand, is nothing like her mommy at age 18 months. No. Fallon is actually her mommy when she was around age 14…except for the fact that Fallon isn’t potty trained.

I’m thinking since she has spent the last eighteen months raging against the world she has maybe three, maybe four more years of rage left in her…wishing…hoping…praying. I’m sorry Hollie. I am so sorry that I ever cursed you. Then again, your rages often drove me to curse you.

Hang in there baby! If I survived, you can too.

You too, Fallon! I mean your mommy survived. Hurray for being so gosh darn cute!

a cautionary tale


Parents, isn’t it fun to dress up your little darling children? It is. It is indeed.Oh the oh-so cute little dresses and sailor suits and t-shirts and shoes and hair styles and…if you have more than one darling child…the match-y, match-y siblings look.

A total win! People can totally tell that they are all sisters. And the first born isn’t resentful at all over the fact that she is dressed just like her barely-potty trained sisters because she is a mature, confident third grader and totally trusts her Mom’s fashion choices…like dressing her kids exactly alike.

Heh!

But it gets better. At least Mom imagines that it gets better.

No, we are not match-y, match-y but we are awesomely Gap coordinated. Weren’t the 90s just too stylish?I think so. Hollie, on the other hand, believes that this is just photographic evidence that her mother dressed her funny on purpose.

Whatever!

Oh, and in case you are wondering, Bill is smiling in this picture. He is smiling on the inside. Don’t believe me? Ask him. He’ll tell you.

But I digress…

Parents, while it is truly, truly fun to dress up our children not unlike the way we used to dress our Barbies…or our GI Joes.

Did boys dress up their GI Joes? I don’t know. Maybe they did, maybe they didn’t.

Whatever…

Parents, be careful how you dress your babies because it will come back to haunt you with all of your babies’ judgement and angst and bitterness when they are all grown up.

This.

This is evidence enough.

 

promping


Getting ready for Prom?

One does not simply primp.

No.

Absolutely not.

At least not if one lives here under the Big Top.

It all started while watching the Red Carpet before the Academy Awards.

Because great minds think alike, Jodie, Hollie and I all thought Reese Witherspoon’s classic, Hollywood glam style would be a perfect look for prom for Jodie. So from there we began to plan. Jodie was part of the prom planning committee for her school so of course we had to start to plan. I swear I never ever put any thought into my prom and having helped (just a little) with some of my girls’ proms, part of me feels like I might have missed out just a little. Then again I don’t think I could handle Mommy Dearest helping me plan at all. But to be fair, given that Hollie never went to prom herself, I imagine she couldn’t handle me helping either. But we do make a pretty good team helping her sisters in the past and present.

First, find the dress.

Hollie and I concluded that Jodie is like a hanger effortlessly wearing the smallest size off the rack of every single dress she tried on. These are just some of the dresses that she tried on. So many dresses! But she could only choose one.

Decisions…decisions…

Fallon proved to be no help being awestruck by her princess auntie every time she floated out of a dressing room wearing something shiny, glittery or sparkle-ly. But Jodie soon made her choice…the first dress she tried on.

At last the day had come! Time to start getting promped. Hollie was in charge of this.

She got this!

She’s totally got this!

Oh yeah! Jodie’s happy face was proof enough.

Ta-Dah!!! And on the arm of her handsome date, a friend whom she has known since the third grade she was all promped and ready.

Okay humor me now while I pause and then state, “Damn! I made some gorgeous babies!” I can say that because it is true. This one, this shiny, golden-haired child looks so much like my Mommy Dearest as a young lady, before kids, before me, before everything that stole her youth and her health that it takes my breath away.

I can’t believe that my youngest baby girl-child is all grown up, gorgeous and going to the prom!

Have fun my baby, my love, my heart, my joy!

kindergarten happens


In every life of every child and every parent comes that day when they are ready for kindergarten. But before then comes…

DUN-DUN-DUN!!!

Kindergarten registration. With the filling out of the necessary forms comes the reality that this precious baby of yours isn’t really a baby anymore which only means that they are growing up….your sweet baby!

That time has come for little Miss Hazel Faye.

I KNOW!!!

How can this possibly be? Our very first Coming Attraction, who was just a baby that we witnessed changing practically every single day is now old enough to start kindergarten. It seems unreal but it is true.

Hazel is going to start kindergarten in the Fall…erm, actually in August…just as soon as her mommy gets her registered.

Hollie came over last night with her assembled papers and in a bit of a panic. She had Hazel’s birth certificate, her Social Security card, a utility bill showing proof of residence, Hollie and Ben’s marriage license because the utility bill has Ben’s last name on it which isn’t the the same as Hazel’s, family court documents showing custody and school registration forms. It all looked to be in order but missing was Hazel’s immunization record. It is then that Hollie shared her panic as she tore apart the house unable to find that little yellow card that is proof that Hazel has had all of her shots. How can she be enrolled without this, Hollie wondered?

I tried to assure her that it was okay. The card can easily be replaced by calling the pediatrician the next day.

“Even if we have changed doctors?!”, she questions.

Yes, even if they had changed doctors. The proof I offered was the fact that I lost Abby’s several times and now have three immunization records for her…because that which is hopelessly lost always turns up after it is replaced…at least that is true here under the Big Top.

Poor Hollie looked so upset and stressed out. It was a tough day for her. I forgot just how hard this kindergarten registration can be. Perhaps I forgot because it was a little more than 20 years since I had to register my child, my first child for the very first time. Yeah, that was one of those moments that I wished my Mommy Dearest was available in my life. I’m glad to be there for my daughter if to at least assure her she has everything she needs and then some and yes, Hazel will be registered and enrolled.

Still Hollie was so stressed. She explained to me the extra care she takes in filing and organizing important things like Hazel’s shot records because she knows she has to take the extra care. Hollie has ADHD. She has learned to live and function just fine with and without meds over the years but I know just how hard it can be for her. I’m her mom. Of course I know. The look on her face and the stress in her voice I have seen and heard before…when she would be truly overwhelmed with all the clutter and chaos and distractions that she could not possibly begin to filter out. I remember one of the very first times where I saw and heard this and realized just how HARD it was for her when her 5th grade math teacher, Mrs. Paradiso, called me during class time with Hollie and her classmates hearing her tell me how my daughter was failing and would never, ever be able to catch up or understand or pass anything in her class because she was failing and on and on she continued until I cut her off. I could not believe this teacher would do this to my child in front of her and her peers. Yes, Hollie was hopelessly disorganized and distracted in her class and yes, she was failing but I told her teacher our conversation was over until after school when it could be just the two of us and then I hung up. After that, I picked up the phone and called the principal telling her what had just happened and asked if we could meet in her office with the math teacher after school. She agreed. It was this encounter that really opened my eyes to what my child lived and struggled with.

She was actually diagnosed months before but I was unconvinced. It seemed to me that everyone I knew had a kid or several kids with the same diagnosis. One of my friends would repeatedly play the ADHD card for every single bad behavior her kids would do which annoyed the heck out of me especially when her kids would behaved badly while with my kids…even my kid with the same diagnosis.

But that phone call from the (in my humble opinion) horrible teacher opened my eyes to that which Hollie was really struggling with. This was very real in spite of my opinion or the opinions of family members who were even more unconvinced than I was…and way too critical and vocal about it, might I add. Hollie needed help and help is exactly what we got, for her and for her parents. With a lot of support, a lot of encouragement and a lot of time, Hollie has learned to adapt with the way her brain works…and sometimes doesn’t work. She does well, thank you very much. Still, sometimes life happens with its own crazy kind of chaos…like when you have to register your first born child for kindergarten.

It happens.

Oh, and Hazel Faye is registered for kindergarten!

I Know!!!

it’s all fun and games until someone farts and throws up


Oh photo shoots with families…large families! They can always be fun.

Right?

I try to imagine that. I mean if I close my eyes real tight and think on it real hard it will be so.

Right?

Yeah, but no.

But they can be fun.

They can definitely be fun when your friend is taking the pictures…and what is this with the shot of my ass? My friend has a wicked sense of humor.

We agreed to help my friend, Marie, out with a special project she is doing for the March of Dimes WalkAmerica and NICU Reunion featuring NICU graduates. Actually I agreed. You know how it is. Mom says so and so it is. But this project of Marie’s is a good thing and we manage to get some pictures of most of the family circus. I gave her some pictures that I have of Zoë with her favorite little brother, Daniel which will be included in the poster. We would much rather have Zoë here but life, job, school and bills happen when you are a grown up living on your own more than 330 miles away from home.

We miss you like crazy Zo-zo!!!

Act natural she said.

Relax she said.

Just be yourself she said.

And so we did. Perhaps we did just a little bit too much because yes, someone farted and we all reacted as expected…which Marie documented in several frames. Of course she would because she is the kind of friend who will take a picture of her taking a picture of my ass.

Love that girl!

Thankfully she didn’t document the throwing up.

Oh family photo shoots!

I can’t wait to see what she does with all of this.