still not creepy

The night before another procedure to see how well his pituitary gland is functioning with daily human growth hormone injections at Children’s Hospital Central California I found myself regarding his sweet face as he slept.

Of course I take a picture because, please.

Then I look closer at the picture I just took and I see a shadow, a shadow of my little boy growing into a young man. Okay, this might be getting creepy someday very soon.

The procedure went okay after a two hour wait because the nurse who was supposed to initiate it did not come to work due to a family emergency and no one in the department seemed to know that until I stepped out of his room to go get my phone charger out of the car. But after some staffing changes, profuse apologies from Daniel’s endocrinologist, the head of the Endocrinology Department, a few difficult lab draws and then lunch on the Endocrinology Department’s dime because we both had not eaten anything since 8 PM the night before we were done for the day and back on the road for the nearly two hour drive home.

I did my level best not to glance too often in the rear view mirror to peek at my sleeping man-child.

it’s time: “shut the door please”

I enter his room with an armful of freshly laundered and folded boy clothes. There he is sitting on his bed surrounded by all his bed buddies, including those little lions. One leg is propped up on his bent knee while he is so intently focused on yet another magic trick video…his latest YouTube obsession.

Thanks, Mom.

You’re welcome.

As I begin to exit his room and head downstairs to retrieve even more laundry to put away, he calls out to me.


Yes, son?

Can you shut the door please?

Um, sure.

And so we continue on that twisty, winding road that is life with a pre-teen and teenager. I have no clue how this road will twist and turn nor how steep it might be but I do know that again, for the fifth (and final) time I am on that road. I quietly sigh to myself and gently shut the door.

It’s going to be okay.

For now.

Wait until we get to the slamming-the-door-and-loudly-blasting-angry-music stage. I’m so not ready to go to there.

play it again: those hormones I warned y’all about

It doesn’t take much to remind me just how lucky, how damn lucky my former 24 weeker, micropreemie is. That is a very good thing lately because…hurray for preteens and their stinky, gross, annoying hormones that are just beginning to bubble up. I’ve survived these kind of hormones four times over. I’ve survived 132 days in the NICU, nine surgical procedures and those sometimes scary, always exhausting early years with a medically fragile infant, toddler and preschooler. I can survive puberty one more time even with all the other special needs added in the mix this time around…I think I can, I think I can…

Originally published May 11, 2013

Oh dear glob they are bubbling up…and they ain’t no female, pms-y kind of hormones either!

My sweet boy, my beautiful son is 11 years old and the hormones are starting to bubble up. No, they aren’t a raging, rolling boil…yet. But they are just at the boiling point and…

I’m not liking it.




I have survived four girls through the transition of child to stinky pre-teen to raging adolescence. This can not possibly be hard for me anymore.

No way!

I’ve got this.


I believed that.

I truly did.

I thought wrong.

Oh my goodness! My sweet little boy suddenly is one big gloomy, grumpy, irritated, annoyed person and he is directing that flood of emotions at me…complete with heavy sighs and eye rolls.


What indeed, son. We both are wondering what right now. Although I have to confess that my “what” is actually a three word “what“.

Then this comes on.

Oh my darling boy! Not a day goes by where I am not reminded just how fortunate, how so damn lucky we are…

you are.

Yesterday was one of those days. My heart breaks for another family, another amazing, brave and strong one like you. So I close my eyes and cry hot tears while I offer up a quick thanks for you…and say a prayer for the other. Then I say thank you for these hormones that are just beginning to bubble up to a boil because I get to experience them…again…with you.


annoying side effects

Recent message received from iamthefuturee: where can I get some human growth hormone? Or Buy this for cheap?


Curious, I check to see who is iamthefuturee exactly. He is Davon Teaheartt: Dance down, Dope AF, Athletic, Tracknation, Catch Me On Your T.V. Screen, $traight A’s, Ambitious, Talented, God’s gifts, Focused, #I Am The Future.

Um, okay.

Your pictures on Instagram and your writing might suggest otherwise, Davon. Just saying…


Still I answer back: my child comes by his prescription legitimately as it is a medical necessity for him. His physician prescribes it and his insurance provides it. It is not cheap and I certainly would not be injecting it into my little boy every day were it not for the reason that it is medically necessary.

Davon, er, iamthefuturee replies: Sounds like a great parent I completely understand. What does he take it for? & would like to make extra money selling me some?

OMG, WTF!!??

That’s one annoying side effect.

Another is his fingernails grow like crazy…his dirty fingernails.

But he did grow another 1¼ inch this month. So I’ll tolerate the annoying side effects for now.

NaPhoPoMo day 18

weekend good

Not that I am bragging or anything, I am just sharing what has been good this weekend because that is so much better than me whining or bitching or moaning about what might have been bad this weekend (nothing).


Getting off night shift just in time to see the rain clouds rolling in which any night shift nurse will tell you means they will sleep well.

When a photo of your photo and how it got put on display and your name is on the front page of the paper. Added bonus is they spell your name right.

Punching more holes in the walls but not nearly as many because gallery ledges are awesome.

Bottling the Tears of Angels IPA.

Sampling this delicious treat because how can I possibly recommend Christina’s Cupcakes if I haven’t sampled them? They are damn tasty and yes, if you live in the 209 you need to order some.

At the Madden Fall Fair, I tasted a bit of The Rustic Puff handcrafted artisan marshmallows. All she had to say was to let the marshmallow melt in my coffee to enjoy the salted caramel deliciousness and I was sold.

Celebrating the first day of Fall as one does by turning on the oven and baking The Pioneer Woman’s amazing meatloaf. Thank goodness today wasn’t hotter than balls as it could be on any given Fall day here in the Central Valley.

But saving the best for last, as one almost always does, there is this.

On the left taken August 29 and on the right taken today, September 22. Yes the camera angles are all wrong and lack continuity but LOOK AT THE RULER MARKINGS!! YES, I AM SHOUTING!!! Those growing pains are real. We are loving human growth hormone therapy.

Have a great week y’all!