Category Archives: hormones

fifty shades of distracted

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Laundry?…

Spring Cleaning under the Big Top?…

Filing my Federal taxes (waiting until the eleventh hour because in spite of yet another year of unemployment/underemployment and losing our home we still freakin’ owe taxes this year…you’re welcome 1%)?…

Catching up on neglected projects (yes, of course I haven’t finished painting the staircase!)?…

Prepping for my biennial NRP renewal?…

Training for that mud run?…

What?…

What was that again?

Sorry. I’m finding myself rather distracted these days…and yes, perhaps a little too hot and bothered as well.

apology accepted

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As the mother of many daughters I have endured the lame jokes that comes with being the mother of many daughters. Yes, having many teenaged and adult aged daughters does mean that we are major consumers in feminine hygiene products. No, it does not mean that we buy in bulk at Costco. Perhaps we should. But then again we are unique, separate, female individuals with our own preferences and tastes…yes, even when it comes to the purchase and use of feminine hygiene products.

Hurray for individuality!

This is why we ladies of the Big Top buy our own products…or, if you are one of my daughters, have your Dad pick you up some “girly things” because he will…because he is your Daddy. Amusing that he will do this considering in the nearly three decades that we have been together he has never picked up “girly things” for me. Then again, I have never asked him to.

But I digress.

It would seem that my own preferred, favorite feminine hygiene product is in the news these days.

Is this too much information?

Whatever.

My favorite o.b. Ultra tampons are on their way back to store shelves near me. Before I rejoice I have to confess that I didn’t even know that they were gone, you know living with peri-menopause/menopause and all that. I have not had much need to replenish my supplies for a great while. Actually, if I am to believe the news reports that they started to disappear from store shelves last year, it has been a great while. Good thing too because I just can’t imagine paying more than $100 on eBay for them. I’m loyal and all but, hey, I would be more likely to suck it up and take one from one of my daughter’s stash…only if I really had to. But all is well. the Ultra brand will be back on store shelves come 2012…waiting for me…if I need them.

And they come back to us all with an apology…a pretty awesome, funny, interactive apology…and a coupon too. So if it comes to pass that I need them sometime soon, I have my coupon right here. Can you think of any other tampon brand that would apologize for their own screw-up like this. No, I didn’t think so.

Thank you o.b.! Apology accepted…whether I really need you or not.

taking Ninny’s advice

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I’m too young to be old and I’m too old to be young.
Evelyn Couch, Fried Green Tomatoes.

I don’t believe what I have been feeling lately is remotely close to what Kathy Bates’ character was going through, but I have been struggling…no, I have been suffering. I’m overwhelmed with the sweat-soaked, heart-racing hot flashes. I am restless, forgetful and just too emotional. I would kill for a long, good, sweat-free night’s sleep.  My skin is acting like I am thirteen allover again and believe me, I had no fun at all when I was thirteen so I sure as hell don’t want to repeat that again…especially these ridiculous breakouts. Trust me, they don’t look good with crow’s feet and a sagging jaw line. I’ve made a lot of positive changes this past year which have alleviated some of these symptoms but lately it hasn’t been enough. So I took good ol’ Ninny Threadgoode’s advice, met up with my favorite nurse practitioner at my OB-Gyn practice and talked peri-menopause and menopause. She had some labs drawn and low and behold, I am in the last days of peri-menopause. My brain and hormones are trying to signal the ovaries to do their monthly thing and release the eggs but they…

Just.

Can’t.

Do

It.

So do I just smile sweetly and suffer through these last days?

Oh hell no!

With my health care team in place with help, information and lots of advice I am ready to take this next stage on. It will be an adventure no doubt about it. But with a little hormones I’m hoping to take it on, accept it and embrace it because I am definitely too young to be old even if I am too old to be young…er.

overheard under the Big Top #405

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Me: (while furiously fanning myself and rushing to open all doors and windows under the Big Top on this glorious 55° Spring day in April) It is hot in here!

Darling Husband: (grinning) No it’s not. It’s just you.

Me: Shut Up!

Darling Husband: (laughs wickedly)

Me: If you’re cold just put a sweatshirt on, okay?

Darling Husband: (snickering still…)

praise God from Whom all hormones flow

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You might want to step far away from me because the good Lord just might smite me right here and now for the title of this blog post. Still I couldn’t help myself. It just seemed to be the perfect title.

Remember when I shared that the hormones were really flying here under the Big Top? Well I gotta tell y’all to forget those raging pregnancy hormones. The adolescent raging hormones are nothing either. And those pre-pubescent hormonal surges are just too unpredictable to really be considered in this case. People, we have hormones in a bottle in LOTION form here under the Big Top! Just a little dollop no bigger than a quarter rubbed into a large body surface area on a daily basis is all it takes (hopefully) to achieve hormonal balance. Ain’t getting older just peachy? Hopefully we won’t get the progesterone and the testosterone lotions mixed up.

That could be bad, I think.

If you got through reading this without smelling singed hair or flesh then you know that God is probably amused and that is good. After all, the good Lord is the creator of all things, including hormones.

I’m twittering today.