squad weekend

Can I just put it out there to everyone who was pretending shock and surprise that there was some kind of game going on this weekend you fool no one. So what you didn’t care about the Super Bowl. No one cares!

Especially these three…and the two people whom I know who were DOWN THERE ON THE FIELD with Cold Play, Bruno and Queen Bey herself…and her magnificent fan.

Squad goals!

My friends, Harmony and Kaylin, crossed this off their bucket lists. There’s that.

Meanwhile,

we shall imagine that my darling daughter on the far right above, was really into the play on the green of the Phoenix Open. She knows that her dad really was. And she knows that she had a great time with her friends.

As for me…

my squad and I enjoyed a great day at the Sacramento Zoo.

I can’t even begin to describe how good it was to get some face time with my grand babies. Actually I could but then again…just trust that this day with my squad was so magically delicious…yeah even when we sang “It’s a small world after all” with all that was in us over and over and over again because that is what my squad does.

Saturday, Sunday and Monday were the perfect days for squads and their goals.

I basically can’t live without

You know you did very well in gifting when your child shares with her nearly 10K followers on her business Instagram account  that which you gifted her.

Seriously, this bag is pretty awesome. All the more awesome is her Pinterest board because she really is hard to shop for sometimes. Of course, she gets it from her mama! But this last year I gifted her well. Thank you Pinterest and Hollie pinning all the things.

I just might need a bag like this because, like my darling daughter, and pretty much anyone, there is absolutely a bunch of shit I basically can’t live without.

  1. like my favorite face wash because the oil slick that is my face keeps waiting for the dry, flaky, crepe-y skin that is all part of the joy that is menopause. Sure it might feel like a certain body fluid, as someone I know compared it to, but it works very well for me…and that is all that matters.
  2. Sunscreen! All the sunscreen because ginger girl problems are real.
  3. This lip balm because more sunscreen and because I am always licking my lips so why bother with heavy lip color?
  4. My latest favorite Acoustic Chill playlist on Spotify because the drive to work is too stupid and too real

    Honestly!
  5. My old, well-worn, gray sweater I got from Costco years ago.
  6. Eyeglass cleaner because the glasses I wear every waking moment are always smudged and dirty and I just might be obsessed about cleaning those glasses of mine.
  7. This whiteboard calendar which just might be ridiculous if I were to carry it in a bag.

    Then again, I am not the only one living under The Big Top who basically can not live without it which is why everything and everyone on the calendar is color coded.
  8. My blackout curtains because I am Vampira, the night shift nurse.
  9. Coffee, nectar of all the nurses.
  10. My Amazon Prime account
  11. Dental floss. I blame my dentist for lecturing me about gum disease while deep cleaning for what has become an addiction.
  12. My cameras…Canon 60D and iPhone because I am indeed the Mamarazzi
  13. My favorite pen…don’t ask to borrow it…ever.
  14. My Moleskine notebook
  15. a bottle of Coke Zero, just one, for my lunch break at work
  16. My ASU ball cap to hide the epic bedhead when I take my son to school in the morning. Not that my son’s principal would ever call me out for the bedhead or the pajama pants I might be wearing (if I’m not wearing scrubs) because she isn’t nearly as judge-y as Kate Chisholm and because at least I am wearing a bra. There’s that!
  17. My Caffeine and Kilos ball cap for when I can’t find my ASU cap.
  18. A good bra.
  19. My water bottle. I blame Jodie and my membranes rupturing at 26 weeks while pregnant with her for my ALWAYS carrying a water bottle and ALWAYS drinking all the water.
  20. A Sharpie marker…you never know when you need to mark something permanently.
  21. Altoids, you are very welcome Day Shift!
  22. My Asics
  23. My favorite Scünci hair ties…they are discontinued which would explain why I am hoarding them.
  24. My favorite hair clip because thick hair can be a problem, even thinning, menopausal, thick hair. But hurray for the fact that my hair is long enough 20 months after my latest pixie cut to twist up into an undo with my favorite hair clip…it’s the little things that make me happiest, really.
  25. Scarves…I have no idea how many I have. That might be a problem. But who cares because I basically can’t live without them.

What shit that you basically can’t live without would you stuff that duffel bag with.

showing up

January 2016 is winding down…FINALLY! Am I the only one who felt like this was an endless month? No, it was not a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad month. It was actually an okay kind of month at least here under the Big Top. It just seemed like January was a long as a cold, dark Winter night.

Speaking of Winter…

I can neither confirm nor deny that Jodie was anywhere near the East Coast last weekend. I asked. Believe me.

But yes, January is coming to an end which, it would seem, be the PERFECT time for me to shake up my workout.  I never was a New Year, New You, New Workout or Joining a Gym kind of girl because anxiety girl hates the crowds. Still, struggling with the I’m getting older too season of my life, I am realizing that in order to maintain I need to do so much more than just run and throw some weights around occasionally; because it’s not just cardio vascular and muscular skeletal function that wanes in our middle ages…I realize that literally every single time I am crawling between ventilators, isolettes and parents kangarooing their tiny babies so I can hang IV fluids, administer meds or shut off an alarm, and then trying to get back up again. I won’t talk about the hobbled state of my back, my hips, my knees and my ankles at the end of a 12 hour shift.

So honoring my #oneword2016, I am pausing the running…kind of sort of because if I run, I run, and if I don’t, I don’t...instead I am walking more and as of last week, accepting Jodie’s challenge to get my Yoga on. Last week I discovered Adriene, whose playful humorous yoga practice is exactly what I need as I get back on the mat and accept the reality that is my ebbing flexibility and old lady joints. Five days into her New Year 30 Day Yoga Camp (while everyone else is almost done with it), I am learning to accept, create, embrace, awaken and celebrate that I am alive as I enjoy this one wild and precious life that is mine. There is more to come the next 25 days but the biggest thing I am coming to realize is not how flexible I am or, obviously, am not.

No.

The biggest thing is that I have shown up on that mat.

And that is kind of the biggest thing one can do literally in any relationship in their life whether love, friendship, work, your own self. If it’s important, if it’s valuable, you got to work with it, care for it, but first you got to show up.

Start here.

Show up.

 

the misses independent

In spite of the mundane and drudge that is cleaning and organizing The Big Top, it can be fun when I happen upon little treasures like this.

Oh these two youngest daughters in my life!

I probably should thank Jodie for leaving these in the most random of places that I might find a few days after she headed back to school except I know that she gave these photos to Fallon after they took them New Year’s Day. I’ll thank Fallon for leaving them behind to make me smile while I was dusting and vacuuming when I return them to her.

Both of these young ladies are something else. So fiercely independent they are. Then again, so are all the daughters and grand daughters in my life. I’ve always admired the I do what I want quality in all of my girls. I do what I want within reason and parental guidance until they grow up, of course.

I won’t lie though; that same Miss Independent quality my girls possess can be exhausting, frustrating, sometimes a little bit hurtful when they are doing what they want that I don’t want. It’s okay though. It’s part of the process of becoming truly independent. Part of my heart wants them to always be here, always need me, always want to be with me but another part of my heart knows that no matter how independent these Misses (and Mrs.) are I will always have their love…and because of their love that is as strong as their independent streaks, I get to vicariously enjoy so many adventures that I could never, ever imagine. Added bonus: when we are together it is so much sweeter.

Of course, because I am human and a little bit selfish, I can still wish for more face time…something I also wish that I could tell the young mother me when all I wanted was alone time…while on the phone…in the shower…in the bathroom…

My mother told me to be a lady. And for her, that meant be your own person, be independent.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

only ten hours

According to my navigator app, it only takes about 10-11 hours to drive from Manteca to Tempe…weather permitting…probably no stops along the way except for gas. Driving to Tempe from Manteca it is about that…not counting the stops for gas, for coffee, potty breaks, meals, windshield wiper blade replacement…and sometimes traffic.

It also takes ten hours to travel from Manteca to Tempe when one is flying…today.

Driving from Manteca. We left after dropping Daniel off at school which means we were on the road just after 9 AM…after we got coffee.

Windy, rainy and green because it has been rainy…FINALLY!!!

To Mineta International Airport because Southwest had super awesome, cheap flights that fit this SunDevil’s school/work/social/family schedule. I now accept the fact that I am supposed to leave her there on the curb with her luggage. Security waving me to move along helped just a little. I still don’t like that I have to leave her there. Yes, I still blame my darling husband for making me drop her off to kindergarten years ago. I left her at 11 AM,

I got home just before 1 PM which gave me time to do something worthwhile, like a load of laundry, before picking Daniel up from school.

Meanwhile…

Jodie’s flight was delayed three times. Today she learned that when you are a poor college student between paychecks, airport cuisine at Mineta International is too expensive for you.

Finally boarding!

This is her If I smile real big you’ll offer me extra bags of complimentary honey-roasted peanuts because I haven’t eaten since breakfast face.

5:35 PM landed in Burbank. Apparently it wasn’t a direct flight. I could have sworn it was a direct flight. No, Mom. It’s not a direct flight.

Finally at 7:15 PM a text announcing: Landed in Phoenix!

See? Only 10 hours. Yes, I’m ignoring the fact that Arizona doesn’t observe Daylight Savings Time. 9 hours…might as well be 10 hours.

We miss her already.

Can it be May?

I’m pretty certain this is all her father’s fault…still.