little girl wishes

So you know what Fallon is wishing for?

No, what?

To be a big sister.

Hmmm…

She even has a plan.

A plan?

Yes. I could have twins.

TWINS?!

Yes, twins. That way there will be a baby for Hazel and a baby for Fallon.

So then they wouldn’t have to fight.

Yup!

Seems legit.

Calm down boys and girls!!! There is no coming attraction baby or babies arriving anytime soon to join this circus act. But I did warn Hollie about little girl’s wishes and their prayers…powerful stuff they are.

 

no longer true

Overheard under The Big Top:

Daniel are you a Belieber?

NO!

What Do You Mean?

I’m not!

That makes No Sense. I mean Where Are U Now?

You know, it’s not too late to say SorryNo Pressure…just Love Yourself.

:::eyeroll:::

I’m not a Belieber. Why You Mad?

Sisters!

No longer a true Belieber but OMG, he is going to be FOURTEEN in TWO DAYS!!!

I’m happy with the man I’m becoming.

Justin Bieber

 

Pitiful Pearl and other traumas

Texting Hollie about the Christmas crazy I am gifting her girls with al to make their wishes come true…and perhaps drive their parents crazyI notice that my Pitiful Pearl is missing. I just might have to skip a post-run shower to tear apart The Big Top to find that poor, pitiful 50 year old doll.

Pitiful Who, you wonder?

True story: when I was a little girl, my mom took me to a fancy doll shop for my birthday telling me that I could have ANY doll there. I chose this doll. She used to have glasses. My mom asked me why would I want such an ugly doll. I answered back because she looks like me.

Yeah.

Ummmm. Mom, that makes me feel like she’s possessed. Like Annabelle.

She is not! But I can’t find her….anywhere!

Where was she? On the bookshelf? By the pool table?

Yes.

My guess is she’s in the garage next to a can of gasoline with a matchbook in her hand.

This is my darling, first-born child, in whom I am very much pleased…

You’re mean! She might be ugly but she is good. I’m the only one who’s ever loved her.

Mom, I haven’t been to your house in so long and yet I still feel like because she is missing I’m somehow responsible. I feel like I am re-living all of my childhood trauma.

Ridiculous!

Here is where I omit the part that I am quietly freaking out because I KNOW I must have moved the doll, probably putting her away somewhere safe from perhaps little grandchildren who want to play with a 50 year old doll who just can’t take that kind of play and yet, I CAN’T REMEMBER WHERE OR WHEN which means, DEAR GOD, IS THIS HOW MY DOWNWARD SPIRAL INTO DEMENTIA BEGINS???!!! Oh and, OMG, THE CHILD MOCKING ME AND PITIFUL PEARL WILL BE THE ONE WHO TAKES CARE OF ME.THIS IS NOT GOOD! NOT GOOD AT ALL!!!

Found her!

Where?

In the closet under the stairs. Perhaps I put her there in order to avoid unwanted attention…from my former neighbors.

CREEEEPY! I bet she put herself there. She just wants you to BELIEVE that you put her there.
(Twilight Zone music plays)

You know, I could still get that Unicorn Furby

OMG! Stop!

 

conversation starters

Working on interpersonal interactions, Daniel had homework to do; homework that was basically conversation starters.

Was I willing to do this exercise with him, he wondered?

But of course! I’m his mom. I’m his super nerdy-homework-is-fun-as-long-as-it-isn’t-math mom.

So we sit down together and work on our conversation starters exercise. I am to start and he is to continue answering back with two to three sentences. We’re working on interpersonal interactions here because it has been proven on occasion that not everyone wants to talk about Hot Wheels cars and Lego sets and video games.

Crazy, I know!

Glancing at the ten conversation starters, I’m thinking this is going to be easy-peasy, lemon squeezy. Daniel sighs because mom is saying easy-peasy, lemon squeezy again.

First one: So I heard that there was a fire on your street…

There was a fire? Oh my god! Where?

No, son. There wasn’t really a fire. It’s the conversation starter. I say, “So I heard that there was a fire on your street..” And you answer back…

So there wasn’t a fire on our street.

No son. How about you answer back something like, “Yes, last night in front of my neighbor Don’s house…”

Don’s house?! Don’s house was on fire? But you said there was no fire.

There was no fire. We’re just pretending while we practice conversing. Pretend that there was a fire.

Why would I pretend something so bad like Don’s house being on fire?

Don’s house isn’t really on fire.

Then why would we talk about something like that? It’s not even true! Oh my god, mom!

Mom?

Do you have any math homework?

But what about my Speech homework?