life as the plumber’s wife

A mid-day text message conversation between a plumber and his adoring wife:

So the faucet in the kitchen sink has been leaky the past couple of days and it is getting worse. Zelda likes it.

But it has literally filled up a cup within the last half hour just dripping.

Do you know a good plumber?

No.

Try Angie’s List.

:::silence:::

I’ll correct the aforementioned defect when I get home.

Are you a good plumber?

Well, I’m cheap.

That’s what she said!

[/rimshot]

 

 

 

 

noise cancelling shoes

They look like an ordinary pair of Asics running shoes but they aren’t. They are literally noise cancelling shoes…very well worn noise cancelling shoes because self care for me is the ability to walk…to run…miles and miles.

Remember all those half marathons and other races that I ran where I collected all those amazing medals after crossing the finish line?

What?

No?

You don’t?

Well, I do as I see all those once shiny, blingy medals every day collecting dust hanging out of sight in my walk-in closet. I hear them too as well as the ten of them that live in my closet clank against one another reminding me of what I did. What I can do. What has been literally my therapy for such a very long, long time.

I don’t run in half marathons anymore for many reasons. The biggest reason is I just can not afford to anymore. But I do still run. All the time. Any chance that I can.

Self mental health care.

But truth be told, the endorphins release is no longer enough. It hasn’t been for months and months. But I still run because I need to because it is something that I can do. Something that I can do now and do pretty well.

Years and years ago, after the birth of one of the many babies I birthed, I was being treated for post partum depression. My doctor wanted to add medication to my treatment but I refused for quite some time because I was breastfeeding my baby and I had concerns about the effect the meds might have on my nursing infant. Still the doctor pushed back. Finally I confessed that at that moment and every day I knew for sure the one thing that I could do right was feed my baby. Everything else I did, or didn’t do, was open for scrutiny and critique but feeding my baby was the one thing that only I could do and I did it very well. And so my doctor agreed.

Now I run. I have ran for over 4 years and have run a lot. Running for the dopamine release and running to cancel out the noise, the noise always in my head that mocks, jeers, derides, scoffs at anything I think or feel or do.

Today the noise was especially loud so I laced up these shoes and walked and ran and walked for what ended up being nearly ten miles because step by step, mile after mile, the noise was not there. Cancelled. I needed that noise to be out of my head today. Desperately so. So I ran longer than I had planned for.

Tomorrow I imagine that my body will hate me.

Oh well.

As for me I will be grateful for my noise cancelling shoes.

Oh, and for the kitty photo bomb too.

 

word search Wednesdays

What kind of mother would let their kid do his word search spelling/vocabulary homework without offering help?

This kid’s mama!

Some people can look at the jumble of letters in a word search puzzle and see all the words.

:::waving:::

And some people just see nothing but a jumble of letters all mashed together.

Daniel, wave hello.

It’s okay. Except the boy hates Word Search Wednesday. He hates it especially when no one else is around to help like any of his sisters or his dad or even Zelda because he is then forcedforced, I tell you, to check line by line, letter by letter to find the ten words that he is searching for.

Madness! Absolute madness!

It’s unbelievable how long it takes him to complete this homework assignment every Wednesday.

And then his dad walks into The Big Top coming home from work, hugs the boy hello and points at his paper at the very last word that Daniel has been painfully searching for for the last seven minutes.

Well at least he found the other nine all on his own.

 

masterbuilder training

“With proper training…”

(and a little help from Zelda) …you could become a great MasterBuilder.”

Just remember who it was who helped you with that word search homework.

Yeah.

I know it sounds like a cat poster but it’s true. Just look at all that you have done when you believe that you are special.

Lego building and The Lego Movie, just a small part of our summer vacation where everything is awesome!

cat lady guilt

It’s kind of like Mommy-guilt expect perhaps not as knife-in-the-heart like when your little one calls you while you are at work or out of town and cries, “When are you coming home, Mommy? I miss you so, so much!“. But that’s only because cats can’t use the phone…or perhaps they want you to think that they can’t use the phone…and your darling husband isn’t going to call you to let you know that the cat misses you. Still you know you are sliding even more quickly into that old cat lady status when shit like this happens…

Noooo!!!! You’re putting those suitcases and bags and dancer stuff into your car! You’re going away again, aren’t you?! You’re leaving me again, aren’t you?! Why???!!! Take me too, please!!! Don’t leave me here!!!!

Bill tells me Zelda is so lost and stressed and needy every time I leave for a night shift or a dance competition weekend.

Clearly I have no soul because I left her like this.

Worst.

Cat.

Lady.

Ever.

Perhaps I will bring her back some dance mom bling. She LOVES pony tail holders.