honor roll for the remarkable

Posted on May 21, 2013 by Laura

What a school year it has been here under the Big Top!

Only four more days left in this school year then, oh for goodness sakes, my two youngest children will be a SENIOR and a FIFTH GRADER!!!

I’m so proud of both of these babies of mine. They both have worked hard managing more than their fair share of obstacles to persevere, grow (a lot) and accomplish much. For Daniel it is especially gratifying. Remember the beginning of this school year? How we fought so hard to keep him in the same school and found ourselves defending the special education the school district provides for him because the law demands it? Well, guess who made the honor roll?

Go ahead, guess….

I’ll wait…

Can I hear a loud “OH YEAH BABY!!!“?!

So dear Mr. Dennis Wyatt, to answer your question that you posed seven months ago: “The question that no one is asking given the budget crisis is whether we can continue to afford to support special education in K-12 at the current level. That may sound like borderline blasphemy just to ask the question, but it needs to be asked…” …

Can we afford it?

Is it really worth it?

Is it worth it spending all the money, time and energy on a child with obvious learning challenges and delays along with sensory processing dysfunctions that sometimes make it virtually impossible to focus and learn?

Oh hell yeah!!!

I can assure you that no one amongst his peers worked as hard as he did to EARN that 3.0. Truly remarkable is he, my amazing son. Again I am reminded how lucky my son is, How truly fortunate and amazing and remarkable. But today, this time I am reminded in a way that makes me so proud of him and the people who have come along side of him to support him and encourage him. This beyond the normal that we have learned to celebrate as parents of a child who was first presented little chance for survival or any kind of good quality of life. This is a feat worth celebrating…even for the normal.

OMG, my amazing baby boy made honor roll!!!!

Yeah, okay mom, enough with the pictures!

from PTA reject to Joe Biden

Posted on April 23, 2013 by Laura

So there I was minding my own business happily snapping pictures of happy, beautiful teenagers all dressed up for Prom when one of the parents comes alongside of me and tells me that the first meeting for the Class of 2014 Sober Grad committee will be in two weeks and she really hoped that I would be there.

Me?!

She doesn’t know me very well, does she? Me, the PTA reject, the piss-poor cheer mom and the slacker soccer mom, basketball mom, volleyball mom and dance mom…yes, it was me she was inviting.

I pull up my calendar on my phone and mark the date thanking her for the invite.

Me.

I was invited to join with the PTA moms. I’ve never been invited before. Oh sure, I got the first day of school invites every year since 1992…because they HAVE to send out invites to all the parents…I’d go fully intending to offer what I can to support my kids’ schools. I’m all for that. But soon enough I’d see that I just did not belong, did not fit in, not at all. So I settled into the role of paying the annual PTA dues (five bucks) and participating in fundraisers and the rare field trip or class party. And I was okay with that. The circle of moms who do everything at school was too tight to fit into. Sure, they would call out for volunteers and even complain at the drop-off and pick-up how it’s always the SAME parents who volunteer but over the years as our kids grew up in school together they really liked their tight little social circle that did everything for school…and I became content as a PTA reject. My plate was full enough juggling the raising of my 5 clowns and all the craziness they brought to my circus anyway.

So as I planned to attend the Sober Grad meeting I wondered was the invite sincere…or was I being punked in some sort of Mean Girl kind of way. yes, I was mostly joking. But then again. Even Hollie joined in teasing me because she knows…I don’t fit in.

Turns out I wasn’t being punked. I was welcomed…after all these years. Still feeling awkward not knowing what to say or do I kept my head down and took notes…lots of notes….mainly because I really have no clue at all what I’m doing here….unlike the other parents at the meeting who seem to be on every single parent group or committee that supports every single program at our kids’ high school…I mean all of them.

We discuss at length budgets from years past, venues, fundraising ideas…the irony that a few fundraiser ideas that have worked years past involve alcohol, for the Sober Grad event didn’t escape me. I’m quick like that. Yeah.

It is then decided that we must put in place the executive board for the committee before the next meeting…you know President, Vice President, Secretary, Treasurer…

Do you hear the crickets?

Is this how it is at the PTA meetings?

Finally, one by one people offer just how over extended they are chairing the athletic committee or the events committee or the grounds committee or all the other parent groups and committees in place at our kids’ school. Then a few step up saying they will be secretary…hey, wait! I want to be secretary because I take great notes but I am the super newbie here so I stay silent. Finally we have a secretary and the parent who invited me agrees to be president. Another reluctantly volunteers to be either treasurer or vice president reminding us how over-extended she is. Others nod their heads murmuring their own over-extensions. I’m the only one who is quiet. And then, feeling guilty because I do nothing but sign a few checks for our kids’ school, open my mouth and say I could be willing to serve wherever I would be most useful adding I have no experience whatsoever…zero, zip, zilch, nada. The newly appointed President jumps on this saying I would be perfect for the job of Vice President describing basically what will be her sidekick/helper.

Why did Joe Biden’s smiling face immediately flash in my mind?

She brightly explains what my duties would be. I am pretty much her flunkie. Another parent, who knows our family circus life well, adds this would be a perfect fit for me with everything else I juggle.

I think I have been punked.

Yeah, I am the Vice President for the Class of 2014 Sober Grad Committee.

My Class of 2014 darling daughter is more than pleased.

Honestly! The things we do for these kids of ours!

kindergarten happens

Posted on April 3, 2013 by Laura

In every life of every child and every parent comes that day when they are ready for kindergarten. But before then comes…

DUN-DUN-DUN!!!

Kindergarten registration. With the filling out of the necessary forms comes the reality that this precious baby of yours isn’t really a baby anymore which only means that they are growing up….your sweet baby!

That time has come for little Miss Hazel Faye.

I KNOW!!!

How can this possibly be? Our very first Coming Attraction, who was just a baby that we witnessed changing practically every single day is now old enough to start kindergarten. It seems unreal but it is true.

Hazel is going to start kindergarten in the Fall…erm, actually in August…just as soon as her mommy gets her registered.

Hollie came over last night with her assembled papers and in a bit of a panic. She had Hazel’s birth certificate, her Social Security card, a utility bill showing proof of residence, Hollie and Ben’s marriage license because the utility bill has Ben’s last name on it which isn’t the the same as Hazel’s, family court documents showing custody and school registration forms. It all looked to be in order but missing was Hazel’s immunization record. It is then that Hollie shared her panic as she tore apart the house unable to find that little yellow card that is proof that Hazel has had all of her shots. How can she be enrolled without this, Hollie wondered?

I tried to assure her that it was okay. The card can easily be replaced by calling the pediatrician the next day.

“Even if we have changed doctors?!”, she questions.

Yes, even if they had changed doctors. The proof I offered was the fact that I lost Abby’s several times and now have three immunization records for her…because that which is hopelessly lost always turns up after it is replaced…at least that is true here under the Big Top.

Poor Hollie looked so upset and stressed out. It was a tough day for her. I forgot just how hard this kindergarten registration can be. Perhaps I forgot because it was a little more than 20 years since I had to register my child, my first child for the very first time. Yeah, that was one of those moments that I wished my Mommy Dearest was available in my life. I’m glad to be there for my daughter if to at least assure her she has everything she needs and then some and yes, Hazel will be registered and enrolled.

Still Hollie was so stressed. She explained to me the extra care she takes in filing and organizing important things like Hazel’s shot records because she knows she has to take the extra care. Hollie has ADHD. She has learned to live and function just fine with and without meds over the years but I know just how hard it can be for her. I’m her mom. Of course I know. The look on her face and the stress in her voice I have seen and heard before…when she would be truly overwhelmed with all the clutter and chaos and distractions that she could not possibly begin to filter out. I remember one of the very first times where I saw and heard this and realized just how HARD it was for her when her 5th grade math teacher, Mrs. Paradiso, called me during class time with Hollie and her classmates hearing her tell me how my daughter was failing and would never, ever be able to catch up or understand or pass anything in her class because she was failing and on and on she continued until I cut her off. I could not believe this teacher would do this to my child in front of her and her peers. Yes, Hollie was hopelessly disorganized and distracted in her class and yes, she was failing but I told her teacher our conversation was over until after school when it could be just the two of us and then I hung up. After that, I picked up the phone and called the principal telling her what had just happened and asked if we could meet in her office with the math teacher after school. She agreed. It was this encounter that really opened my eyes to what my child lived and struggled with.

She was actually diagnosed months before but I was unconvinced. It seemed to me that everyone I knew had a kid or several kids with the same diagnosis. One of my friends would repeatedly play the ADHD card for every single bad behavior her kids would do which annoyed the heck out of me especially when her kids would behaved badly while with my kids…even my kid with the same diagnosis.

But that phone call from the (in my humble opinion) horrible teacher opened my eyes to that which Hollie was really struggling with. This was very real in spite of my opinion or the opinions of family members who were even more unconvinced than I was…and way too critical and vocal about it, might I add. Hollie needed help and help is exactly what we got, for her and for her parents. With a lot of support, a lot of encouragement and a lot of time, Hollie has learned to adapt with the way her brain works…and sometimes doesn’t work. She does well, thank you very much. Still, sometimes life happens with its own crazy kind of chaos…like when you have to register your first born child for kindergarten.

It happens.

Oh, and Hazel Faye is registered for kindergarten!

I Know!!!

the best thing

Posted on March 12, 2013 by Laura

Passing the time in the dance studio while waiting on Jodie to finish teaching her class and Daniel to finish his hip hop class I did what I usually do.

Hello Twitter!

And while reading through my peoples tweets I came across this:

Good ol’ cousin Joe. No, we aren’t really related. Then again…perhaps…maybe…

But I digress…like I often do…Bill complains often how exhausting conversation with me can be because I go off on crazy tangents all the time.

Whatever!

Wait! What was I talking about?

Oh.

Yeah.

Cousin Joe wants to know what was the best thing that happened to me today.

I start to scroll through the answers other people share with him…

…holding new babies for the first time
…good news from the doctor, no cancer!
…hugs
…safe travels home
…band concerts
…praise from a student’s parents
…birthdays
…breakfast dates
…dinner dates
…ice cream dates
…song writing success

And then I try to think again what was the best thing that happened to me today…

I’m stumped.

No, it wasn’t a bad day or a horrible day or a dark day. It was just a day. A day where I took Jodie to school then took Daniel to school. It was a day where I sipped my coffee while watching the Cardinals take their oaths before they were to begin the papal selection process. Then I did the dishes and scrubbed the baseboards upstairs. I tried to explain to Abby why popes always seem to be really old guys; followed by a discussion of what I learned from Anatomy & Physiology. I wanted to ask her if perhaps she was reconsidering her plan to be the next E! reporter and on air personality and maybe following her mom into nursing but she had to go tanning.

Yeah.

Soon enough it was time to go pick up Jodie from school then pick up Daniel. Then there was homework and dinner prep and more homework followed by taking Daniel to hip hop class. On the way home from dance, I debated with Daniel the merits of taking a shower and washing every part of his body, including his hair.

Eleven year olds and hygiene is just too challenging…and no, it is not just a “boy thing”…trust me.

I help Daniel blow dry his hair then kiss him good night and here I am…trying to figure out what was the best thing that happened to me today.

…?…

Um…

Well my hair looked good.

There is that.

It is very important to look good when one is scrubbing baseboards, chauffering kids and working on 4th grade homework.

Too shallow?

Sorry, Cousin Joe. Today my life was boring. Perhaps THAT is the best thing about today.

for the heroes

Posted on December 16, 2012 by Laura

Thinking of what happened at Sandy Hook, because, OMG, even if I turn off the tv and step away from the computer like fake Morgan Freeman says, I can not shut it out of my heart. A dear friend’s family is suffering over the hateful senseless loss of a sweet little boy just days after his 6th birthday, I am thinking of those who without hesitation rushed to protect the children…the principal, the school psychologist, the teachers…all of them who did everything in their power against a deranged individual armed with a Bushmaster AR-15 assault-type rifle and two handguns to protect their students…the children. They rushed that individual and blocked him from the children not unlike the way many of us parents imagine we would do without hesitation to protect our own children, our beautiful children.

Over the years, I was blessed with many great teachers, teachers who genuinely cared about me and tried to help me weather through so much pain and turmoil and keep alive my thirst for learning. Raising my children I have been fortunate to trust so many teachers with my own precious children. All, but perhaps two, truly, truly cared for their students, including my children. God forbid, if such a horrible thing were to happen at my children’s schools I am certain and confident that these men and women would try to protect my children just as I would. There is no question in my mind.

Teachers lately have been much maligned for practically everything. Perhaps it is time that we recognize that for teachers this is so much more than a job, an occupation, a career. They have dedicated their lives, their time, their hearts, even their own money to help teach, guide and inspire the children…our children. Perhaps now, in order to honor the memory of the those who died at Sandy Hook Elementary, we should reach out and thank them…thank our children’s teachers, thank our own teacher, thank all teachers.