Category Archives: silly stuff

a cautionary tale

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Parents, isn’t it fun to dress up your little darling children? It is. It is indeed.Oh the oh-so cute little dresses and sailor suits and t-shirts and shoes and hair styles and…if you have more than one darling child…the match-y, match-y siblings look.

A total win! People can totally tell that they are all sisters. And the first born isn’t resentful at all over the fact that she is dressed just like her barely-potty trained sisters because she is a mature, confident third grader and totally trusts her Mom’s fashion choices…like dressing her kids exactly alike.

Heh!

But it gets better. At least Mom imagines that it gets better.

No, we are not match-y, match-y but we are awesomely Gap coordinated. Weren’t the 90s just too stylish?I think so. Hollie, on the other hand, believes that this is just photographic evidence that her mother dressed her funny on purpose.

Whatever!

Oh, and in case you are wondering, Bill is smiling in this picture. He is smiling on the inside. Don’t believe me? Ask him. He’ll tell you.

But I digress…

Parents, while it is truly, truly fun to dress up our children not unlike the way we used to dress our Barbies…or our GI Joes.

Did boys dress up their GI Joes? I don’t know. Maybe they did, maybe they didn’t.

Whatever…

Parents, be careful how you dress your babies because it will come back to haunt you with all of your babies’ judgement and angst and bitterness when they are all grown up.

This.

This is evidence enough.

 

discovering why

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Picking up Jodie from her job teaching dance to under-privileged kids for Give Every Child A Chance I found myself delayed thanks to an unexpected traffic delay…chickens.

Chickens?

Yes, chickens stopping traffic on French Camp Road.

Sorry, I’m late picking you up.

That’s okay, Mom.

There was traffic.

Traffic?

Yes, traffic. Chickens were crossing French Camp Road.

Chickens?

Yes, chickens. At least I now know for sure why the chickens were crossing the road.

Why?

To get to the other side, of course.

And I wonder sometimes why I annoy her. I do. I really do.

Hopefully those chickens are safe from the pack of wild dogs that are attacking livestock in the farming community of French Camp.

it’s all fun and games until someone farts and throws up

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Oh photo shoots with families…large families! They can always be fun.

Right?

I try to imagine that. I mean if I close my eyes real tight and think on it real hard it will be so.

Right?

Yeah, but no.

But they can be fun.

They can definitely be fun when your friend is taking the pictures…and what is this with the shot of my ass? My friend has a wicked sense of humor.

We agreed to help my friend, Marie, out with a special project she is doing for the March of Dimes WalkAmerica and NICU Reunion featuring NICU graduates. Actually I agreed. You know how it is. Mom says so and so it is. But this project of Marie’s is a good thing and we manage to get some pictures of most of the family circus. I gave her some pictures that I have of Zoë with her favorite little brother, Daniel which will be included in the poster. We would much rather have Zoë here but life, job, school and bills happen when you are a grown up living on your own more than 330 miles away from home.

We miss you like crazy Zo-zo!!!

Act natural she said.

Relax she said.

Just be yourself she said.

And so we did. Perhaps we did just a little bit too much because yes, someone farted and we all reacted as expected…which Marie documented in several frames. Of course she would because she is the kind of friend who will take a picture of her taking a picture of my ass.

Love that girl!

Thankfully she didn’t document the throwing up.

Oh family photo shoots!

I can’t wait to see what she does with all of this.

play it again: certified

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It was that time of year again for me. Time to get my Basic Life Support re-certification on again…and have the resuscitation mannikin talk dirty to me. Even better is this year the infant mannikin now talks dirty to me too. 

Thankfully I saved both mannikins and I am re-certified to perform CPR for the next two years.

You’re welcome!

originally posted May 17, 2011

Certified.

Again

For the last 24 years, every two years, I am re-certified to provide Basic Life Support as a Healthcare Provider. So yes, I still know how to save a life.

You’re welcome!

Would you believe that I have never used the CPR skills that I have learned and re-learned? True. I guess I’m too busy catching sick and tiny babies and saving their lives with my NRP skills, which must also be tested and renewed every two years as well. But if I had to perfom CPR I could…and I have the certification to prove it.

This year’s re-certification was different than it has been the last twelve times I have done it. This time around I was proctored by the manikin. A little awkward…a little weird…a lot distracting. I mean here I am trying to count chest compressions out loud because we’re supposed to and the manikin’s computer generated voice is providing feedback at the same time.

“Dude, I’m trying to count!”, I think to myself.

But the manikin continues to talk to me.

“Faster!”

“Deeper!”

“Not so deep!”

“Slower!”

“That’s good! Very good!”

“You’re doing a great job!”

Any moment, I swear I expected the manikin to scream with orgasmic pleasure…or perhaps ask me if it was good for me too as he lit up a cigarette…which is probably why he needed CPR in the first place.