Category Archives: television

stalking to the beat

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A word of warning to Kent Boyd:

She’s coming! She’s coming to a weekend of dance workshops and competition near you. Did you hear the squealy, giggly screams coming from here in the Central Valley last night when it was confirmed that you would be teaching and performing at Hollywood Vibe this weekend? I would be really surprised if you didn’t hear them. She loves you, dude and has followed your career ever since Nigel got lost somewhere in the middle of Ohio trying to find your house to tell you that you were in Season 7 of So You Think You Can Dance. Don’t be afraid though, Kent. She’s harmless. Really, she is. Well except for when she is burning up the dance floor in her tap routines.

Ready or not, Kent, here we come!

how to impress a three year old

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Provide proof that Santa shops at Target.

True story, Hazel was very impressed with this fact. I think Santa has gained extra awesome points in her book.

And now when I rush around like a mad woman doing last minute shopping because, hurray, payday is the day before Christmas Eve, I shall have the Carol of the Bells on a continuous loop running through my head.

Now wasn’t that an amazing run on sentence!

adoption drama

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It would seem that in the land of television their is much adoption drama going on this season…on Glee, on Parenthood and on Modern Family and the social media and blogging world is a bit freaked out.

Two seasons ago on Glee, Quinn Fabray so easily births a baby girl and walks away with the baby safe in the arms of her adoptive mom with nary a tear or emotional outburst of grief and the collective world freaks out because that is not real…or at least the reality of those who have birthed a baby and placed the child for adoption.

But it is just a television show…with singing and dancing.

The next season the character Quinn returns to her perfect head cheerleader life and Puck goes back to being a thug with a heart of gold with no mention of what they both went through the school year before and again there is freaking out because again that is not how it happens.

Still it is a television comedy/drama with even more singing and dancing.

Parenthood opens this season with Julia and her husband struggling with secondary infertility and their decision to adopt. Julia’s character, being the control freak who scarcely breathes that she is, tries to micro-manage even this part of their family life because that is how her character has been for the last two seasons of the television show. She even blurts out to Zoey, the single and pregnant coffee cart girl in her office, that she wants to adopt her baby and again the world practically bursts a vessel.

Still it is just a television show.

Zoey, Latte Girl, explains to Julia that she doesn’t want to place her baby with someone she knows. She wants a closed adoption. Again, the world freaks and declares that this is not real. No one does closed adoptions and walks away like a Juno. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

Um…it’s a televison drama…it’s not reality.

Then back to Glee, Shelby returns. First she must meet with Rachel to reach out to her and make amends for walking away after placing her with Rachel’s Dads years ago and rejecting Rachel reaching out to her two seasons ago.

Oh no…

Shelby is also seeking to have Quinn and Puck be a part of Beth’s life as her biological parents saying she doesn’t want them to have the same regrets that she has.

Yup, there is freaking out all over the place.

Still I keep shaking my head muttering this is a television show.

But in spite of how I feel I have to confess that this week’s episode of Glee did kind of touch on a nightmare of mine that I had for a few years. The first three years or so of Daniel’s life I dreamt that his bio parents returned wanting him back…demanding him back. Of course in my dream I am the one freaking out. The dream never resolved because I would always wake up as I was screaming at them that they didn’t deserve him.

I know. Bad adoptive mom! Shame on me!

But our family’s adoption experience doesn’t so neatly fit into a one hour weekly television drama series. Nor does it even remotely reflect your typical adoption experience…open or closed or otherwise. Social workers involved in our case back in the day told us they had never, ever had a case like ours. Don’t get me wrong. It’s not all bad. It’s all for good. After all, how fortunate we are to have Daniel in our lives? How lucky our family is to be completed by this remarkable child? I will never understand the thinking that brought his bio parents to the decision that they made. Still I am forever grateful for their choice. Anytime Daniel and I talk about the fact that he is adopted I always touch on the truth of how blessed we are that he is our son. He tells me that the reason why he had to be born 16 weeks early was so he could meet his mommy…yes, me.

See? I’m the lucky one!

As I watch the television dramas unfolding on Tuesday night I’m reminded of the fact that no adoption experience is the same…certainly never, ever like what is depicted in a television show…just as no parenting or family experience is the same. But then again, whose to say that some of these writers are NOT writing from their own experiences…from their own perspectives? I mean, if no adoption experience is the same as yours or yours or mine whose to say what they are writing doesn’t reflect their truths?

Hmmm…..

Nevertheless,  while people in the world around me are screaming to reject these shows because they don’t get adoption right, I imagine that I will continue to watch and see how the stories do play out because I kind of like these television comedies and dramas.

That’s entertainment.

a dance mom’s life list

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Here I am busy juggling my life, my career, my kids’ lives and I manage to miss a little bit of dance mom drama at my 4th daughter’s studio. It certainly isn’t the crazy, bat-shit quality drama from the Abby Lee Studios that is depicted on Dance Moms...this show is totally a Big Top guilty pleasure… but I heard it does compare.

And to think I missed it!

Thankfully Jodie’s coach is the on top of craziness and manages to keep it to a minimum so she and the kids can focus on what they are there to do. The takeaway for her coach, for Jodie and the rest of the team was to sit down and assess what do these kids really want from this experience that is competitive dance. I know what Jodie wants. I have asked her every year that she has declared that she wanted to compete. I want to know what she wants from this and the assurance that she is having fun before I sign the check and prepare to schlep with her all over the place for competitions, classes and conventions. I know what she wants from this. Her coach does too. But recent events prompted them to sit down and really talk about what she wants from all this time, blood, sweat and tears that she has given this.

She does have dreams.

She has big dreams.

But her dreams are dosed with a lot of realism. She is a very smart girl…a VERY smart girl. Dance is big in those dreams but so is her education, where she wants to end up and what she eventually wants to do. Sitting down and taking stock of everything with her coach she is inspired all the more. Thankfully she has people…lots of people who are coming alongside of her, pointing her in the right direction and holding up a mirror for the occasional much-needed reality check. All of us are standing beside her as she continues to reach for her dreams, her wishes, her goals. Goals that include this someday.

Yes, someday she will be in that kick line. I’m not the only one who believes this to be so.

Oh and she has me…her biggest fan…the crazy dance mom who is working the extra shifts, sometimes helping with the hair and makeup, trying to avoid the bat-shit crazy dance mom drama and cheering her on all the way because how cool would it be to check off my Life List watching MY DAUGHTER dancing as a Radio City Music Hall Rockette in Radio City Music Hall? That is on my Life List you know…along with visiting the Scarborough Castle and learning how to turn a cartwheel. I guess she and I better start working on our code for “Hi Mom!” before that day comes.

More on my Life List, inspired by Karen Walrond’s inspiration shared at BlogHer 2011 someday soon…I promise!

still the dance mom

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I’m not surprised that she will be dancing competitively for her fifth consecutive year. Anyone that knows her isn’t surprised either. Anyone who has seen her dance isn’t. Just looking at these shots from her last dance competition I just can’t imagine her telling me that this year she would hang up her jazz, tap and hip-hop shoes. The joy and the passion is everywhere in these. So after this weekend’s auditions when she announced that (of course) she made the dance team, I wasn’t surprised at all. Still I cheered her on because, whether I like it or not, I am a dance mom…again…for the fifth year in a row. At least this coming year she will be doing most of her own hair and makeup.

Oh happy day!

But before her busy, busy schedule of classes, rehearsals, costume fittings and fundraising begins she and I are looking forward to the premiere of Dance Moms. I have snarkily poked fun at dance moms because although I do share a common bond in the fact that I can not keep my eyes off of my daughter when she takes the stage, I share very little else in common with the stereotypical dance mom I might observe and encounter at dance competitions. Well, except for the families on my daughter’s team. Together most of us have watched our kids grow up dancing together for the last five years. We celebrate the accomplishments of all of our kids, regardless of talent and ability level. Cue the “We Are Family” music now, please.

But back to this new show…

Set in Pittsburgh’s renowned Abby Lee Dance Company, owned and operated by notoriously demanding and passionate instructor Abby Lee Miller, “Dance Moms” follows children’s early steps on the road to stardom, and their doting mothers who are there for every rehearsal, performance and bow … all under the discerning eye of Miller. Presenting a powerful cast of characters sure to raise eyebrows, the series immerses itself in the highs and lows surrounding competition season to deliver an intriguing and dramatic look at the cast’s frantic pursuit of the ultimate National Dance title. Centered on the devoted Miller, who runs her school with an iron tap shoe as she instructs her young, talented students while also dealing with over-the-top mothers who go to great lengths to help their children’s dreams come true, “Dance Moms” will pose the tough questions many ask about what really goes on behind the scenes in the fast-growing and controversial sport of competitive dance.

Honestly are people really asking tough questions? About dance? Do people, in general, really regard competitive dance as a sport? I know I do because I have seen how much these dancers sweat…and eat.

I’m sure it will be as extreme as any other “reality” behind the scenes type show out there. Parents and teachers like this are out there at competitions just as they are in many kids’ sports and other competitive activities out there. But while we might find ourselves entertained in the appalling extremes trust me that most of us are just typical parents supporting and encouraging our children while they learn, grow, explore and pursue their talents and passions…with glitter, stage makeup, aqua-net and eyelash glue stuck to our fingers when we applaud.

Speaking only for myself, as much as I am thrilled by each and every time this child of mine takes the stage, if she came to me and stated I am done with dance I would be okay. It’s her passion, her dream…not mine. Never mine.

But this coming year she dances…again.

I can’t wait because, yes, I am a dance mom.