family meeting


There is quite possibly nothing more stressful than introducing a new boyfriend or girlfriend to your family.

Am I right?

Playing Cards Against Humanity has to be probably the best way to break the ice. Yes, I do believe this is the best way to meet one another. I did enjoy meeting Zoë’s new boyfriend and getting to know my sister, Ange’s just a little bit better. Thank goodness Ange and Matt travel with their own set of Cards Against Humanity.

Anyone needing gift ideas for Christmas or my birthday, I want this game for my very own. Remember, I have a lot of kids who just might be bringing home significant others to meet the family someday. I have to be ready.

it’s in the dna


That absolutely glorious moment when your Auntie Zoë helps you with your super hero cape as she tells you how she knows all about super heroes and their capes because when she was a little girl she was known as Super Zoë

So fantastically amazing it is!

It must be a pale, blue-eyed, ginger girl kind of thing.

Just don’t crash while you are flying and break your nose, Super Fallon. Yeah, that happened a few times to Super Zoë.

 

because everyone was personally victimized by Regina George


Ten years ago today Gretchen Weiners was trying to make “fetch” happen, until Regina George shot that crazy down.

Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen! It’s not going to happen!

But “fetch” did happen and here we are wearing pink, because it’s Wednesday and celebrating ten years of one of the Big Top’s go-to family favorite movies, Mean Girls.

On Wednesdays we wear pink…

And you can only wear your hair in a ponytail once a week, so I guess you chose today.

Thanks to TBS, because it is literally always on TBS, we have enjoyed and bonded and laughed and maybe cried a little and definitely quoted this pop culture classic and go-to source of shorthand for female — and human — dynamics. Each and every member of this family circus, well maybe excluding Fallon for now, has navigated some of the futile, poisonous, bitter behaviors that served no purpose that is growing up. It can be hard out there for a kid. Plastics, mathletes, geeks, nerds, sluts, and that thing of someone saying “You’re really pretty” and then, when the other person thanks them, saying, “Oh, so you agree? You think you’re pretty?” was part and is part of growing up for us all.

We.

All.

Got

It.

As parents, of course Bill and I took this and ran with it because, yes, we are totally connecting with our kids and hearing things they might not tell us and having conversations and …oh god, now they know because here I am blogging about it all.

But the thing is, it is true. We all were personally victimized by Regina Georges. We were angry kids with no boundaries or guidance or maybe too many boundaries with too much guidance. We were the weird kid who would never, ever fit in. We were just trying to find our “thing” while surviving high school because nothing was more important in the world than what was happening to me at lunch today.

So thank you Mean Girls. You helped this circus survive adolescence times four and just growing up times five and helped us all here under the Big Top to realize that in spite of all the Regina Georges, Cadys, Janis Ians, Damians, Karens, Gretchens, Kevin Gs, Coach Carrs, Mr. Duvalls, and Ms Norburys we are who we are and we are awesome.

Calling somebody else fat won’t make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn’t make you any smarter. And ruining Regina George’s life definitely didn’t make me any happier. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you.

 

Finally, Girl World is at peace.

Just kidding.

At least now we kind of, sort of get Girl World.

Don’t forget though that on Wednesdays we wear pink.

 

 

 

 

family history


More than usual, my darling husband and I have had conversations with Daniel about adoption not unlike that conversation this past January. Some of it can be attributed to natural curiosity about who he is and where did he come from that comes with growing up and entering…

DUN DUN DUN…

Adolescence.

But given the conversations about real parents and real sisters…as opposed to the fake parents and fake sisters…I am thinking Daniel is having to endure the shiny, happy stupid that is some people’s perception of what adoption is all about. No, not his peers. It’s the shiny, happy and stupid that is their parents and other adults who influence their thinking.

Thank you shiny, happy people!

You’re welcome for the ear worm, too.

Don’t worry. Daniel is assured of the fact that I am really his mother, Bill is really his father and Hollie, Zoë, Abby, and Jodie are really his real sisters…in spite of the fact that he is adopted and in spite of what shiny, happy, stupid comes out of people’s mouths when they speak of adoption.

Which brings us to Multi-Cultural Week at Daniel’s school this week and what would he like to do for his family culture project. We could talk about Russia and all the things we learned about his biological ethnic origins thanks to Winter Games being held in Sochi, Russia this year.

“Why can’t I talk about my REAL family?”, he asks.

Truth be told, mom, his real mom, is far more interested in his biological cultural and ethnic roots than he is right now. So we begin to discuss the ethnic and cultural history of his real family. Daniel decides that he wants to talk about the origin of the Scarborough name and the Scarborough Castle because it’s kind of cool to have a real castle in your family’s history even if it isn’t really our castle.

Really!

 

with love to the people we practice on


So apparently today is Siblings Day.

Yes, I know some of you are rolling your eyes, shaking your head and muttering under your breath…as you some of you sometimes do over things like this that you might find silly.

Whatever.

The day was created by Claudia Evart, who lost both of her siblings earlier on in life. She chose the date to honor her late sister, Lisette. After losing her two siblings to separate accidents early in life, Claudia realized the importance of remembering our siblings, both living and no longer with us. She has dedicated herself to ensuring the bond of brother and sister is forever recognized as the special gift it is.

Like many, I have these pictures of my brother and sister, who are both gone, but remain with me daily, not just in these pictures, but in my daily thoughts and in my heart. I lost both of them in tragic accidents, making me understand the everlasting bond we have with our siblings.

Yes, I am sentimental, and sometimes very emotional when I remember my late brother, Randy and think of where the consequences of life, our choices and others’ choices brought Randy, Billy, Valerie and me.

Sigh!

So many memories…good, bad, ugly and even WTF parents?! But they are/were ours and as Randy once told me, they are the one thing that we share and share only with each other. No one will ever get any of it and that is okay. Memories like that romper Billy is wearing…that haircut of mine which would be in the WTF parents? column. But ultimately the good is what I think of looking at this picture and other pictures of the four of us. Anything else would likely have destroyed me as it crushed my younger brothers and sister. And so I focus on the magic we created together, the four of us and I give thanks.

Then I celebrate some more because, yes, I have more siblngs!

Sisters…so awesome are they! So much younger than me, so much more smarter than me, more amazing than me and even taller than me now. Our memories are different, still they are good and always make me smile. I’m pretty lucky to have you, Angela and Elana both, as sisters.

But not to be left out, my own clowns began to share today celebrating their siblings.

Nobody tell those kids of mine that this is a dream come true especially when I recall the knock-down-drag-out fights that always ended up in tears, blood drawn and a broken nose or two in the past and maybe even last month.

Honestly, kids!

Zoë shared

And because only siblings are great in that way, Hollie declared this to be probably the worst picture to share.

Oh kids!

So I offer perhaps a better picture.

I have more…lots more…Hollie found some.

Oh the secrets, promises, laughter and tears these four have shared…and the fighting…with blood and a broken nose too that these sisters have shared!

Hollie shared: “Hey Daniel, thanks for being our brother. You kind of didn’t have choice in the matter (does any sibling ever have a choice, I wonder?). But you are literally the best thing to happen to this family. You’re crazy, and awesome, and weird in the best way. You’re brilliant and inquisitive, and so much like the four of us. You’re going to drive mom and dad crazy when you’re a teen (next year, OMG!). You were meant for us. And I love you so much. Happy Sibling Day!”

My heart just exploded with glitter and rainbows and unicorns.

Siblings are the people we practice on, the people who teach us about fairness and cooperation and kindness and caring, quite often the hard way. – Pamela Dugdale