5,6,7, fixed

So about Stitch Fix…

It’s been awhile and three boxes later, I have to confess that I came very close to thinking that perhaps the scrubs and t-shirts and shorts and jeans kind of girl that I am just might not be Fix-able.

Stitch #5:

Looked very cute packaged in the box and on paper. But nope times three. Sorry. Can’t lie. Bu-ut, there was two wins.

The London Times Sandra Maxi Dress

and the Bash Eaton Knit Top

Don’t judge, it was an incredibly bad hair day, no makeup and sleep deprived because I remain, always, Vampira the Night Shift Nurse.

Stitch Fix #6 came the following month.

And it proved to be a lot of nope because one can have too many maxi dresses…really. Also I was becoming weary of all the polyester. Being the scrubs and t-shirts and jeans kind of lady that I am, I was beginning to realize that I am also a natural fibers kind of girl too. Yes, I told my stylist that. I also included that one of the tops I actually did kind of like (in spite of the polyester) except it was missing a button. It was then that I learned that I could always request another. The fact that my stylist followed up apologizing for the product defect really pleased me. I’m all about good customer service and follow up. But there was one keeper because there was a wedding reception to attend.

The Le Lis Raven Dress

Then came Stitch Fix #7 and I was glad that I offered so much feedback and listened to my stylist.

It’s Fall y’all and it was all packed up in this Stitch Fix delivery. Too bad it was literally over 100º when it arrived because that, my friends is Fall in the Central Valley. Still…

The Urban Expressions Valerie Convertible Satchel doesn’t care what the temperature is.

Literally the most amazing bag that holds everything and looks good, so good. When your 13 year old son, your darling husband and your 21 year old daughter (who is pretty much never home because of school, work and 21 year old life is in the way) notice the bag and tell you what a great looking bag that is you know it is a keeper.

The Loveappella McGraw Two-Tone Stripe Knit Top

Fit like a dream with the perfect drape…and the cut-out in the back…perfect and kept.

Ignore the dirty mirror as I was ignoring the fact that it was 104º when I was wearing this and taking this picture. It’s better that way.

Next the Just Black Faye Skinny Jean and the RD Style Giana Open Drape Cardigan

With the bag too…we’re both ignoring the dirty mirror and the triple digits, right? Right. It might be hotter than balls but that sweater will be perfect come Winter…El Niño or no…please El Niño! Please, please, please! And the charcoal grey skinny jeans fit like a dream and definitely a keeper for Fall and Winter and Spring. Keep and keep!

Finally the Renee C Edmondo Stud Detailed Split-Back Blouse

LOVE! But this one pictured in the dirty mirror was too tight. But I wanted it…and with the 25% discount if I kept all five fixes it literally would be free because 25% off. I wanted it even more. But it didn’t fit. So I emailed my stylist with my dilemma asking if I could get the next size up? Of course, she answered back right away!  Oh happy day! I sent the too small blouse in the postage paid bag included in the shipment and three days later the right sized blouse arrived.

So the lesson learned for me is feedback is so important with fixes. So is taking advantage of social media so your stylist can see what interests you…that bag, those jeans, more natural fibers…pinned them all. I also learned that exchanges are just too easy. So is the follow up after the exchange to make sure that I was more than satisfied. Who knows what the next Fix will bring next month?

We shall see.

Want to know more? Check it out.

Want to get your own Fix? Use my referral link and go for it!

what kind of mother let’s her kid read Furiously Happy anyway?

Judge me.

I don’t care.

We’ll get to back to that in a minute.

But first can I tell you how Furiously Happy I am right now that this arrived here today under The Big Top?

I am.

I might be already more than halfway through the book too. Might have been done were it not for getting my eyes dilated. The eyes remain extra special…so special that Costco Optometry gets added to the list of places that can’t fill my prescription. Of course that means that I get to spend a ridiculous amount of money above what our vision plan covers. It’s a burden to have extra special eyes. You just can’t imagine.

But back to this book and being furiously happy…I can’t wait to finish reading it, and celebrating my own personal bizarre-ness and my weirdness and even the crazy way that I  was broken because in spite of the anxiety and depression and all around messed up-ness that is me being broken and the smile that tries to hide it all, it is who I am…and a lot of people seem to like and love the me that I am…even with all the messed up-ness…or in spite of it…or because of it.

I am broken. I am broken in so many ways, ways that I have written about before and ways that only a very small circle might know. Shit happens. Shit happens that should never happen to any person. It’s for real. It’s me. And it’s the me that I has been working on and accepting and forgiving and loving…whether I am smiling or not. It’s just me, broken but furiously happy me. And why not celebrate it?

I’m not alone.

Thank goodness I am not.

We are people who have been searching and continue to look for the light in spite of the dark, horrible and shitty things in our lives that weigh us down, that steal our joy, that lie to us.

So, what kind of mother let’s her kid read Furiously Happy?

Well, when your kid is 13…and your kid is with you at the optician that can fill the prescription for your extra special eyes and has homework to do including reading for twenty minutes that he has to get done before Tae Kwon Do and tutoring and dinner, you hand him your book opened to chapter 5 and tell him to read about Rory the Raccoon (see book cover).

I had already read the chapter and vetted it declaring it to be PG13 and okay for my kid to read…so don’t hate.


OMG! This is so inappropriate, Mom!

Take note he said that in between adolescent snickers and giggles.

His favorite part? Rory teasing Victor and riding Ferris Mewler because really what is there not to love about a dead raccoon in your bed or frolicking bareback on a cat?

He wrote about it in his reading journal. Yes, he included that he couldn’t believe that his mom let him read a chapter from this inappropriate book but it was okay because his mom is kind of crazy.

I am imagining that my meeting with his teacher next week is going to be, um, interesting…unless she too is a fan of Jenny Lawson.

Remember when I recommended Jenny’s first book?

Ditto! Ditto times infinity.

so about that apology

There is this old saying that goes apologizing doesn’t always mean that you’re wrong and the other person is right. It means you value your relationship more than your egoIn my heart of hearts, I believe that to be true. I also try to live that. If I insult someone or hurt their feelings or even take offense to something stupid and offensive they might say, do or post online and they are hurt enough to call me out on it, I will, more often than not, choose to apologize…if I value that friendship or relationship.

Try being the key word here.

I learned a long time ago that the best apology is to simply say I’m sorry, I apologize, forgive me. No buts needed…or defensive arguments…or lectures about needing to listen. Anything else just falls flat and isn’t really an apology. The irony over who actually taught this to me is never lost on me. But that’s another story.

Today there was this.


I for one, one out of over 3 million practitioners, say okay, fine. Thank you. But that’s just me. Then again, I know that I am not alone. Last night I had the opportunity to take part in a very long conversation with some very smart Registered Nurses and one physician about what we jokingly refer to as the stethoscope incident. For us, we were at the point in this story to acknowledge that nurses united and showing our stethoscopes has made our voices heard in a big way. Johnson & Johnson, one of The View’s major advertiser had paused their ads on that show which meant revenue lost. Eggland’s Best, another advertiser also had pulled their ads…in support of the nursing profession. That’s powerful and we could not help but take note of that. Our conversation last night was what can we do with this loud voice of ours to educate the public, and knock down such stereotypes as the idea that nurses are wannabe doctors, doctors’ helpers, overpaid waitresses, maids and babysitters. Perhaps we can make known that while we are the most trusted, respected profession, we are often maligned just as much as other service related professions. Think of anytime something goes wrong or is less than one’s expectations when you or a loved one is hospitalized. Whomever is most at the bedside is more often than not blamed. We could use this opportunity to address patient safety as in nurse to patients ratios, short staffing and work hours. It would be a good time to discuss the ongoing nursing shortage and the low salaries of qualified nursing educators to educate and train nursing students. It’s also an opportunity to address the violence in the workplace nurses must deal with. My very first patient, when I was a nursing student punched me in the face…literally. I have twice in my career been threatened with bodily harm by an angry, distraught parent. My colleagues in the ER, adult floors and psych units are sometimes kicked, punched and physically threatened by those whom they are trying to care for. All of this was considered last night in our conversation about what shall we now do as 3+ million strong do with our voice.

So when the nearly six minute apology segment aired on The View today, I decided to accept it.

Of course they were pandering to the advertisers. Anyone could see that. But they did say I’m sorry, we apologize. They also gave an opportunity for our voice to be heard with what it is we do, the education and training we must have along with the skill, heart and physical and emotional endurance to do what we do. I’ll take it.

Now can I stop watching segments of The View because I am not a fan and have not really watched since Lisa Ling left the show…2002 in case anyone didn’t know. I sure hope so.

I understand for some nurses this apology is not enough. The nurses who appeared on the show are regarded as traitors. I imagine for some nothing will be enough. It’s hard to put down those torches and pitchforks once they are picked up I guess. But what, if anything, will right this wrong for them? The blood of the ladies of The View? Is that who we are as nurses? As educated, skilled, respected healthcare professionals?

I like to believe that we can move on. Joy, Michelle, Whoopi, Paula, and even Raven with her eye-rolling and I-can’t-believe-we-have-to-do-this-segment body language never should worry that they and their loved ones won’t receive the very best of care the next time they need a nurse because they will. It’s what we do. It’s part of the oath we have taken. As a nurse, over the last 25+ years, I have cared for the babies of Olympic athletes, professional athletes, musicians, politicians, television personalities, farm workers, prostitutes, the homeless, child molesters, clergy, doctors, drug dealers, convicts, gang members, illegal immigrants and just hard-working-everyday kind of people. At the bedside no one patient and their family was more important than another because ultimately my responsibility has been to provide the very best nursing care. I have been compelled to. It’s what I do. It’s what we all, as nurses, do.

Future RN? I don’t know. A Mima can dream. – Hazel Faye 2010

I, for one, believe that it is time that we nurses don our stethoscopes proudly, stand tall together and move on. But we should not be quiet. What has happened in the social media landscape shows just how powerful our voice is. People ARE listening. Who knows? Perhaps some of them will finally come to understand that we did not choose nursing because we were’t smart enough or too lazy to become doctors. Perhaps they finally will understand we do so much more than pass out medications and food trays. Maybe, just maybe they will begin to recognize that we are indeed one of the most vital part of the healthcare that they receive whether it is at the beginning, the middle or the end of their lives.

Oh and because my Dad asked, Kelley Johnson, RN, aka Miss Colorado was second runner up in the Miss America pageant so no, she did not win. But today she is the one contestant from the pageant whom we all are still talking about.

because your friends it can wait

MAJOR pet peeve of mine….MAJOR…guaranteed to set my teeth to grind and mutter an expletive or two…perhaps more…MAJOR pet peeve of mine is distracted driving.





We all see it. Perhaps some of us are guilty of it. Certain family members and friends I am looking at you. Lady at the school drop off yesterday morning I tapped my horn at you. Redneck Bubba in the pickup truck driving up 99, I glared at you when I changed lanes to pass you and you were in the fast lane. Lady in the ‘cedes sitting at the GREEN light this morning, yes, I was yelling at you.




As I write this, one of my daughters is preparing to attend a memorial service.

It can wait.

For those who might be keeping score, this will be the second funeral for a friend that she must attend within the last three months. Yes, she agrees that this is two more funerals for people in their 20s too many for her to be attending. Today she will be saying goodbye to a friend who died three days before his 25th birthday.

It can wait.

Her friend was a father, a fiancé, a hard working business owner. He was a good friend to many and someone not afraid to show kindness to anyone and everyone.

It can wait.

My daughter’s friend died while working, traveling in a car with a business partner. The car he was traveling in was T-boned by a pickup truck driver….a distracted driver.

It can wait.

So today a gentle giant of a young man is dead. His little girl will grow up without her daddy. The love of his life is no longer planning a wedding but is preparing to bury her love. Parents, siblings, friends and business partners are saying goodbye to a much loved and respected human being who has inspired all to live like him.

It can wait.

I look at one of the many pictures my daughter posted in remembrance of her friend and all I can think as I see these bright, shiny, happy young faces is so much promise of so much life to live…so much life to live.

People, put the god damn phone away.

It can wait.

and now I shall assemble my entourage

So early this morning, before I took Daniel to school, I answered a tweet from a reporter in New York City. The next thing I knew I was putting on makeup, fixing my hair and trying to find the right place to sit and casually FaceTime with the same reporter talking about the ladies of The View.

Laundry be damned!

Meanwhile, on The View an apology was offered…sort of…kind of.

Honestly my kids offered better sorry, not sorry apologies when they were little kids. But thank you for telling us how much you loves all the nurses. Thank you also for telling our bosses we deserve all the raises. Thank you also for hostsplaining all of this to us…especially the part where you explained that we need to listen because we weren’t listening. Thanks for that ladies of The View.

Meanwhile this happened right here under The Big Top

…with my kids photobombing behind me. I learned how important what is in the background is while being interviewed for a nationally syndicated news/entertainment show. Shelves with pictures of your kids perhaps too distracting. Dry, dying backyard landscape view because it’s a serious drought here in California from a dirty window definitely worse. So kids get to be in the shot.


But enough with the view…you see what I did there…let’s get down with what I had to say.

Why were nurses so mad, did we not understand that their discussion was poking fun at the ridiculousness of beauty pageants and their talent portion? Of course we did. Some of us likely were joking along with them. Remember when I mentioned the bad karaoke, crazy beauty queen smile while dancing to a very emotional song or a ballerina that couldn’t relevé to the point of dance mom distraction? Literally this is the kind of stuff that reminds us how vapid beauty pageants can be. Perhaps Miss Colorado’s talent wasn’t the best performance of the night. I would agree. But hers also was not the worst either. What I liked about it, besides the obvious celebration of the best job ever, was it was original. It was not the usual insipid beauty queen talent. Here was a very beautiful woman articulating her thoughts and passion in a very intelligent manner…also a refreshing step away from the ridiculousness that is the interview portion of pageants. The hosts on The View wanted to mock the silliness of this pageant so naturally they choose the one who stepped out of the vacuous beauty pageant box. Makes perfect sense! No, not really. But the audience did get what you were trying to joke about because we wee actually listening.

Nurses united because in mocking the Just A Nurse monologue the ladies of The View came off as dismissive of the passion that Kelley Johnson so effectively articulated. Year after year after year, Gallup polls come out with nurses on top as the most respected, trusted profession. We know that we are a key part of a healthcare team and we are very proud of that. Nurses are most definitely not demure handmaidens to doctors ever ready to do their bidding. We also are not empty-headed, buxom, sexy nurses in tight white dresses and high heels. Remember those Gallup polls? We are the most trusted and respected profession. We are because we are well educated, driven, tireless, creative, talented, quick-thinking, non-judgmental caregivers who are always there for our patients literally 24/7…especially after the physicians have made their rounds, written their orders and have gone home. Kelley Johnson’s monologue expressed all of that and more. Perhaps a woman in hospital scrubs, sensible shoes with a stethoscope draped around her neck isn’t so glamorous. Then again, Kelley Johnson indeed was beautiful from the inside out up on that stage representing nurses everywhere.

All that and more I shared with the Inside Edition reporter who interviewed me this morning. I congratulated myself for not freaking out seeing my face while FaceTiming with her. Does anyone look attractive when FaceTiming? Really? I also patted myself on the back because my voice did not shake, I did not curse and I thought I  expressed myself in a thoughtful, coherent manner. Hurray for me!

And here is the piece with my interview.

Literally five seconds of kind of famous. Definitely going to need an entourage when I report to work tomorrow night…and dark glasses…and someone to hold my stethoscope.