Tag Archives: darling husband

a rare moment where he is right

Posted on by

Years and years and years ago, Bill told me this is exactly what happened when he saw me for the first time. I didn’t believe him then. But I do believe him now…29 years later as we try to steal a moment to wish one another a Happy Anniversary today. We did fall desperately in love. We did get married twenty-nine years ago TODAY. And we had kids…we had a lot of kids.

If you are wondering what one gifts a couple who has been married for 29 years they say that it is new furniture. How in the world did “they” know? We need a dining room table and chairs please.

Happy anniversary my darling husband and thank you for more than 29 years of desperate love, marriage and kids…lots of kids.

my ally

Posted on by

When it comes to young men who might be interested in my girls, I make it no secret that I am probably much more protective of my girls and their hearts than their dad. Don’t believe me? Ask Holly. Or ask those few unfortunate boys who did dare to break her heart. I’m. Not. Kidding.

No. Really.

But then again, I do give my daughters the benefit of the doubt. After all they are pretty strong, opinionated, stubborn, young women. I know a relationship with them can be…erm…well, challenging…because they’re my daughters…because they can be a lot like me…because I know I drive my darling husband crazy…a lot…all the time…for nearly thirty years. Yes, the man is a saint…a saint who still drives me to mad distraction, but still a saint. It’s then that I might advise my girls to fall in love with a guy that will treat them like their dad treats me…and them. I would advise them of that if only they would listen. Unfortunately, they can be a lot like me.

But yes, I am the one the guys must worry about if they ever break the heart of one of my girls. Ever.

Last week Jodie was invited to meet with admissions representatives from NYU. It was an invitation-only event for high school juniors who have rocked their PSAT, SAT or ACT tests. Sure Jodie is a sophomore but she still rocked the PSAT and NYU is where she wants to be…at Tisch at NYU…so of course she was all squeal-y excited about this invite. Daniel tagged along because, well, sisters and Dad were all at work so he tagged along.

The presentation was amazing, slick and shiny…with refreshments and food. Exactly what these over-achieving kids need to stir their big dreams. Yeah, I got caught up in it too…until they talked $$$. Egads! My annual salary will just barely cover the yearly tuition and housing costs…barely. I’m going to have to win the Mega Millions because there is no rich uncle anywhere. But if she were to go to there I wouldn’t have to buy a car for her. Who drives there in NYC that lives in NYC?

My mind tried to wander further down that long, winding road of (WTF!) how can we even begin to try to afford this because this was just an information gathering type meeting. We have gathered. We will sit down and discuss later. For now I had to let the girl enjoy the moment talking to a soon to be graduating senior who, surprise, went to Tisch and to the admissions rep who congratulated her on her PSAT success.

She was all shiny and happy…REALLY shiny and happy.

Perhaps that is what caught the eye of the tall, young man who came up to her to say hello. They made small talk sharing what schools they went to, what did they want to major in at NYU and other stuff. I played it cool pretending to study the glossy brochure that I was given. I’m good at that, you know….pretending to study glossy brochures while boys flirt with my daughters. Daniel, on the other hand noticed this boy right away. He looked up from his Lego Star Wars Nintendo game and studied him with narrowed eyes. He glanced over in my direction, touched my arm and gestured as if to say, “Mom! This guy! He’s talking to MY SISTER!”

I smiled at him and leaned in and whispered, “It’s okay, Buddy. He’s just saying hello.” He nodded warily and went back to watching this boy talking to his sister. I may or may not have laughed a little out loud thinking to myself that yes, I have an ally to protect my daughters’ hearts. And then I thought of my own younger brothers, who at different times did the same thing trying to protect me, my heart and my honor.

In spite of all their teasing, stinky-ness and pesky-ness, brothers rock..especially THIS brother!

overheard under the Big Top #47

Posted on by

Darling Husband: What the heck happened to your hand?

Me: That’s where my IV was from the colonoscopy procedure. I don’t get it. It wasn’t a hard IV stick and it didn’t infiltrate. Why is my hand so messed up? It’s looks like an old lady hand or something.

Darling Husband: :::starts to smile:::

Me: You shut up!

Darling Husband: :::laughs:::

Me: Just so you know I already made your appointment for next year.

Darling Husband: No way!

Me: Way! And I’m going to start your IV for you.

because I know EVERYONE wants to hear about my colonoscopy…

Posted on by

Yeah.

I know you all do.

The prep…it was everything I imagined…and more…so much more that I could have never imagined. I do see very clearly why my doctor told me not to leave the house during prep day. Honey, I barely left a small part of the Big Top…except to drink that PEG prep liquid every 15 minutes seventeen times.

Thank goodness vodka is a clear liquid!

No, really. It is.

Between my, er, colon cleansing, my VERY empty, hungry belly, my nerves over the test the next morning and the volume of my clowns slumber, it was a long night…a very long night.

I DID voluntarily sign up for this. In all seriousness, I did because it is recommended for someone my age. Happy 50th birthday to me!

Morning came soon enough and after a stop at the donut shop for Jodie and dropping her off at school, my darling husband drove me to the hospital…loudly slurping his coffee. When you’ve been on a clear liquid diet since Monday night and NPO since Tuesday night you don’t enjoy hearing people slurp their coffee or stopping for donuts on the way to the hospital. Just sayin’. Yeah, I was grumpy. I make no excuses for that and my clowns know me too well to pretty much expect nothing less.

Soon enough I was in pre-op getting prepped in a pretty, pretty hospital gown with slippers just like the ones I wore when I had meningococcal meningitis. Hind sight is always 20/20 and I immediately saw that I should have got myself an Annie & Isabel creation for this adventure of mine…I mean it was a birthday gift to me. Next time.

As my nurse quickly slipped in an IV into my right hand, she told me how she and her husband actually had colonoscopies together…um, okay. I doubt my darling husband and I could have survived the prep together…even in a 3 bath Big Top.

With the IV running it was off to the OR where a lovely nurse and friendly anesthesiologist were waiting for me…and Dr. T. … I hope. Here is where I confess about the breakdown I had when I was 9 years old being prepped for eye surgery because the surgeon wasn’t in the OR and I was afraid the OR staff was going to start without him. I didn’t melt down this time.

The nurse got me, er, in the right position while the anesthesiologist questioned me about my latex allergy and the fact that I do live dangerously eating avocados…hey, I do have an Epi-pen. He injects a dose of versed followed by a dose of fentanyl and the next thing I remember…

Well, the next thing I remember is Zoë sitting next to me…HOURS later. Boy did she pick a great day to come home and bring her laundry for a visit! The rest of the day, and even parts of the evening that followed I can’t recall. Not at all.

Apparently I did have a conversation with my doctor after the procedure where he told me he saw a relatively healthy colon and the hemorrhoids I affectionately named Holly, Zoë, Abigael and Jodie. Hurray for a healthy colon! I also managed to get up and get myself dressed and into a wheelchair which is how my darling husband found me when he was called back to claim me. We stopped at Jack In The Box on the way home…to celebrate my healthy colon no doubt…and I ate something that had bacon in it. I do remember the bacon. Everything else, well, everything else is a lovely, fuzzy, cotton-y versed and fentanyl blur. If you really wonder what it is all about read Dave Barry’s account because it pretty much sums it up…at least what I can remember of it.

In all seriousness, I survived a relatively easy procedure… if you forgive the colon cleanse, the bruise left from the IV site, the gas that is passed and the versed-fentanyl haze that lasted the rest of the day. The good news is I received a healthy report and I don’t have to do that again in ten years or so.