in the end

I remember the first time I heard Chester Bennington. A voice modulating so much pure, raw pain that touched me to the very core that I try so hard to keep inside. I know I am not the only one who felt it because yesterday so many reacted to the news of his ending his own pain.

Chester’s voice was joy and pain, anger and forgiveness, love and heartache all wrapped up into one. For me, Linking Park was a part of my go-to running playlist that pushed me through all the hubris and pain – mental, emotional and physicalthat I would encounter for miles and miles and miles.

In the end, for Chester, everything become too heavy, much too much heavy and the rest of us, his family, his friends, his band-mates and his fans now must just try to hold on.

My friends, it’s okay. It’s really okay, I promise, for us to say to one another sometimes, “You know what? No, I’m not fine. Let me tell you what’s going on in my life.” It is. It really is.

Going through this album, everything from battling with addiction, battling with relationships, battling with family members dying, dealing with suicide attempts. Dealing with kids that are growing up. Every day seemed to bring some new stack of bullshit that I had to deal with. Bringing this stuff up Mike would be like, “God, dude, this is what’s going on in my life or my friend’s life or my family is dealing with this,” or “I know people going through that,” and then it was like, “Bro! Like dude, this is what I’m dealing with.” And in this case, that was the type of conversation that started most of these sessions.

On this particular day, we got into this conversation, and I believe it was Mike that got up as we were kind of talking. As I started talking about some stuff, Mike gets up and starts playing the chord progression and is just kind of going through it. If I recall correctly, right away Julia went, “I don’t like my mind right now. Stacking up problems that are so necessary.” And we were like, “That’s it!” And it was just like “Boom!

~ Chester Bennington, commentary – Heavy


this one matters the most

They say that there are 19 million people celebrating birthdays today. Not sure who they are, but I really don’t care.

I only care about the fact that today is this guy’s birthday.

Literally the best news of the day. You are more than welcome to focus on this good news and ignore the shit pile that was the evening news today.

Happy birthday, my darling husband. It is a very good thing to celebrate another year with you. Yeah, I’m going to keep on nagging you about your cardiologist’s orders that you aren’t really following because I want to celebrate more July 20th birthdays with you – and as many of our circus act as we can surround ourselves with.

Every year on your birthday, you get a chance to start new.

~ Sammy Hagar


because life is

Not much happening here on the old blog because life. Life is happening. Life is good. Life is not bad, but sometimes just meh. Life is busy and hot and exhausting because it’s summer and in between the everyday obligations that is being a grownup, a parent, a grandparent, someone whom others seem to need almost all the time, life is happening and at the end of the day I am not much into writing down what’s up with life under The Big Top. Besides right now it is ass hot.

Don’t worry. Life is mostly good, juicy and sweet right now – just like this bowl of cherries.

Life is just a bowl of cherries, it’s mysterious. Life is just a bowl of cherries, so live and laugh and laugh at love, love a laugh, laugh and love.

~ Bob Fosse

still a bad mother

You know that moment when you are done for the day and you are like REALLY done because you have TAKEN OFF THE BRA.

Okay, perhaps you don’t understand that.

Sorry guys. You will never understand what true freedom is, I guess.

But, after a long, triple digits hot, day, I am at last enjoying that kind of freedom and I am not going anywhere. Not tonight. Sorry kids, not even to help you kill that horrible spider.

I love my girls. I know that terror too well. But no. I took my bra off. I’m in for the night.

I’ll call for search and rescue in the morning if they don’t answer back.




Anissa, freed

Erma Bombeck said something that pretty much defines my approach to life…. “When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and I could say, “I used everything you gave me.” If you switch the word TALENT for LOVE or LAUGHTER or HAPPINESS….it still stands. ~ Anissa Means Mayhew

Yesterday, a most incredible force of nature left this world and I am absolutely certain that standing before her Maker this is exactly what she said.

Like so many others, I get to say that Anissa made me feel special and powerful whether through our interactions on the inter webs and social media or face to face while enjoying the most amazing view of Columbus Circle where she reminded me of the absolute truth that her bewbs were so much more spectacular than mine – long story kids, but trust me, there was no nudity, it was all for fun, games and a good cause and yes, her boobs were fantastic!

So was our view.

So many others are going to share far more eloquent tributes for this amazing woman and I’m going to let them and let Anissa’s own words stand as my tribute along with my most sincere gratitude for knowing her and condolences to Peter, Peyton, Rachael and Nathaniel.