I am the mother of extremely skinny children. The kind that gets the grandparents and older aunties worried over the fact that clearly these string-bean children are malnourished. Never mind the fact that there mother was once a bean pole herself with toothpick-wide arms and legs…really….I was too…once…a long time ago. Okay, fine, a very, very, very long time ago in a land called Oakdale, Pennsylvania. Blame it on the genetics, blame it on the breast-feeding and the fact that something had to be wrong with my breastmilk. Blame it on my good cooking or blame it on the fact that I don’t cook much and let my kids eat birthday cake on Christmas morning. Whatever the reason, my kids were/are skinny people which, it would seem, is unusual in these United States.
Not only am I the mother of skinny children but I am also the mother who can’t sew. No, I didn’t say I won’t sew…er, won’t try to sew…no, I said I can’t sew. My mother was a professional seamstress who actually designed wedding and prom gowns and one very special Christening gown and yet I can barely manage to hem up a pair of pants. Okay, I can’t hem up a pair of pants…not at all. In my fantasy world, I am so good at other things it really didn’t matter that I couldn’t sew. Bill certainly didn’t think this skill was necessary when he was looking for a girlfriend/wife. Home Ec was never my thing and Mom didn’t seem to think that I needed to know how to hem up a skirt or take in a pair of pants. That was what she did and she could do it before one Virginia Slims cigarette dangling from her lip burned out down to the filter. Teaching me how just might take a pack, or two…or more…definitely more.
So as Holly, Zoë, Abby and Jodie grew out of their little Carters it was clear that even the slim sized jeans and pants were just too baggy for them. Thank goodness leggings were all the rage in the late 80’s and 90’s but ignore the fact that spandex and lycra leggings on my girls remained just as baggy as the super slim-sized jeans. They were that underfed. I tried to take in the waists of their pants sewing them by hand and it showed. Thankfully puberty set in and although the girls remain rather slim, they have filled out enough that redneck, ball cap wearing men will ogle them in spite of my open glare stabbing them between their eyes.
But, oh happy day, children’s clothing designers woke up and realized that there are virtually no “regular” children out there, rather more chubby and rail thin ones. Parents are desperate to find pants that fit their children no matter their shape and size. Some parents…okay, this parent who can’t sew…I love you children’s clothes designers who saw the need and created the adjustable waist pants. You guys are absolutely awesome! My son might have a size 3T waist but he gets to wear boys sized 5 slim Levis with the adjustable waistbands hitched up the very last button and look good….no thanks to his lame mama who still doesn’t know how to sew.