in black and white

  • I know that my son has not been growing.
  • I’ve known this truth since he was a 6 month old infant (two months adjusted age) and the working diagnosis on his medical records I had to submit to his social worker stated “failure to thrive”.
  • I knew he wasn’t growing when his former pediatrician in San Jose suggested that perhaps he was having feeding issues and not growing because of something I was or was not doing.
  • I knew he wasn’t growing after he received a gastrostomy tube and was stuffed with more calories a day than the average adult should take in. I knew he wasn’t growing when started to take him to preschool…to kindergarten…to elementary school and he was literally head and shoulders shorter than his classmates…who all happen to be a year to nearly two years younger than he is.
  • I knew he wasn’t growing when he wore the same size clothes and shoes for nearly two years.
  • I knew he wasn’t growing when he would wrap his arms around me to hug me and the top of his head…his 9 year old head would only come up to my waist.
  • I knew he wasn’t growing every time he has stepped on the doctor’s scale and had his weight and height checked…at least I knew he wasn’t growing like a boy his age should.

But as I gathered all his medical records and growth charts as requested by his endocrinologist I see it all here in black and white.

He has not been growing or at least growing normally, like a normal, healthy child and there I see…in black and white…little dots indicating his growth that SHOULD be somewhere in between those curved lines not BELOW them…and, forgive me, I am going to cry just a little once more.

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One thought on “in black and white

  1. Laura, he’s not growing in size, but he is thriving, something he wouldn’t be doing unless you were his mom. It is medical, not something you did or didn’t do. It is something that can be treated, and that is something you are doing. Also, if you would like to borrow some of M’s height, I wouldn’t mind. Damn kid is growing too fast for my liking.

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