neighborhood watch

Text message from my neighbor across the street…yeah, THAT neighbor:

I’m about 90% sure that the teenage version of the Long Island Medium with booty shorts and Ugg boots just put something on your door.

So I check. Sure enough, there was something left on my door.

House cleaning AND spray tanning? What’s not to love here? Right?!

I send a picture of the flyer to Hollie because something this amazing must be shared. Hollie answers back:

She was VERY tan, with white-blonde hair and I could see her fake nails from across the street.

I text back:

Would you want someone looking like that to clean YOUR house?


Hell. No.
“eww look at those carpet stains! OMG do you have a bud light? Mind if I play DJ Tiesto while I clean?
Is it sad I want her to walk by again so I can get a picture?

Yes, I did have to Google DJ Tiesto.

So now I know.


You need something to do, like returning my vacuum cleaner.


LOL. That would require shoes…
What happens if she walks by while I’m walking it over? I’ll miss prime photo opportunities.

Oh that neighbor of mine!

I did get my vacuum cleaner returned and Jaime, the teen-aged, spray-tanned Long Island Medium look-alike, booty-shorts-and-Ugg-boots wearing house cleaner did not come back. Guess I’ll have to clean the Big Top all by myself.


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