neighborhood watch

Text message from my neighbor across the street…yeah, THAT neighbor:

I’m about 90% sure that the teenage version of the Long Island Medium with booty shorts and Ugg boots just put something on your door.

So I check. Sure enough, there was something left on my door.

House cleaning AND spray tanning? What’s not to love here? Right?!

I send a picture of the flyer to Hollie because something this amazing must be shared. Hollie answers back:

She was VERY tan, with white-blonde hair and I could see her fake nails from across the street.

I text back:

Would you want someone looking like that to clean YOUR house?

Hollie:

Hell. No.
“eww look at those carpet stains! OMG do you have a bud light? Mind if I play DJ Tiesto while I clean?
Is it sad I want her to walk by again so I can get a picture?

Yes, I did have to Google DJ Tiesto.

So now I know.

Me:

You need something to do, like returning my vacuum cleaner.

Hollie:

LOL. That would require shoes…
What happens if she walks by while I’m walking it over? I’ll miss prime photo opportunities.

Oh that neighbor of mine!

I did get my vacuum cleaner returned and Jaime, the teen-aged, spray-tanned Long Island Medium look-alike, booty-shorts-and-Ugg-boots wearing house cleaner did not come back. Guess I’ll have to clean the Big Top all by myself.

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