One would imagine as my circus act is grown and some are out of the house perhaps it would be a little less like like a circus.
Currently we have a house guest for the next month.
Zoë’s Prince Albert. He’s literally the size of a small beagle and he is definitely overwhelmed, a little pissed off and definitely scared as he has been hiding behind the drapes, the washer (how in the world?…) and the toilet in the kids’ bathroom.
Then there is this feathered little pecker.
Now what in world could one of god’s wonderful, little songbirds be doing to be annoying? His song is so so sweet joyfully praising the arrival of Spring…or perhaps trying to get the attention of a female wonderful, little songbird because, it is Spring.
Well, let me tell you what this little pecker is doing…
From the first light of morning, through the late afternoon, he is repeatedly hurtling his little songbird body against my windows…especially THIS window, the window he has CRACKED by repeatedly flying into the window. Do you see the crack on the right side of the window in the above picture? That freaky, little songbird did that!
Google why birds fly into windows or how to prevent birds from flying into windows and you discover that they do this because this particular type of bird sees his reflection in the windows and is trying to scare or fight off the competition from the female he is trying to mate with. So basically he is a horny bird fighting with himself thinking that it is another horny bird trying to steal his girl. Google will also warn you that this is leading to the deaths of birds because they are flying into your windows which of course means that you are the asshole for living in a house with windows which reflect the birds’ images and habitat in the sunlight. Their blood is on YOUR hands! It’s almost as bad as if you were to have a domesticated cat and let them go outside to explore…almost…pretty close. Google is trying to make me feel guilt and shame for having a house…with deadly windows. I would feel shamed except for the fact I have a HUGE CRACK in my window thanks to horny, stupid bird. I won’t lie, I’d let Albert go outside to explore and hopefully get rid of the damn bird if he wasn’t such a scaredy cat right now.
And speaking of cats…
This one…our little 7 pound ball of fur…less than half Albert’s size, Zelda, the Alpha kitty, has way too much on her plate at the moment because Albert the giant scaredy cat, Betty the dumb Australian shepherd who just wants to play and that bird…that bird!!! Her struggle of does she continue to establish her reign as The Alpha Kitty with this guest who is twice her size and the stupid dog that wants to play or does she try to figure out a way to get to the horny bird smashing himself repeatedly in the skylight window 18 feet out of her reach. You can’t imagine the struggle she is dealing with right now!
The struggle is real!
So basically Albert is a big scaredy cat, Betty is a ridiculous hot mess, Zelda is a bully and that bird is an asshole.
We just had to have animals in this circus!