broke

Today I have been suffering through an eye twitchy kind of headache. I’m sure the coffee house barista was concerned as he asked me twice if I wanted decaf.

No, I need my caffeine, dammit!

I am fairly confident that I did not say that out loud. I mean, my latte was just as delicious as ever and barista-guy wished me a wonderful day as he always does.

I’m trying to imagine that the ridiculousness of that rambling stream of consciousness I watched about the saving of Carrier, Mexico, someone’s son and the pride the unseen someone must be feeling, along with walls being built— walls with doors might have brought this on.

Better yet, I am telling myself it is the absurdity of the school calling me AND emailing me in order to inform me that my son’s illness is not an excused absence only to apologize when I questioned their notification because since when is it a bad thing to keep a sick, feverish child home from school?! Short staffing is the reason for marking Daniel’s absence unexcused after receiving my message on the attendance line as to why he would not be in school. What?! That’s the attendance clerk’s story—and perhaps a contributing factor to the eye twitching throbbing.

It could also have been brought on by the sleep deprivation that is night shift nurse life and caring for your sick child.

But then there was this.

This.

A 26 year old treasure gifted to me shortly after I received my RN shattered—and what put me over the edge today.

Gawd I hope that this isn’t a metaphor of what is to come this final month and holiday season.

I’m just going to sit in this quiet corner and focus on the pretty, pretty lights. The lights are good. It’s warm. It’s bright. The light will heal that which is broke and, hopefully, the eye twitchy headache.

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