2016 festivus is best for us

Something about this year, 2016, makes Festivus the perfect thing to be celebrating right now. Should we begin with the airing of grievances?

Oh dear. We could be here for a very great while.

A. Very. Great. While.

Personally, today I have survived the epic quest that is grocery shopping on December 23. As I began my odyssey, two women were very angry at me because while they waited for a bagger to find them each a shopping cart, because there literally were none to be had, I offered to share my umbrella with a shopper leaving the store and walk with her to her car in exchange for her shopping cart. I must have an honest smile because she gratefully accepted.

Don’t hate angry women.

I dodged carts and shoppers and kids while filling my cart with all the Festivus, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day food supplies…and I might have added just one more bottle of wine because of the dodging carts, shoppers and kids and waiting in line to pay for my very full cart for over an hour.

Why would anyone be surprised that two days before Christmas the friendly, neighborhood Safeway would be so crowded?

To be honest, the wait for the next available checker was actually not bad. We became a community cheering one another on for finding the very last carton of egg nog or box of candy canes and watching each other’s carts because “Shit, I forgot ____ and _____.” It might be crowded, the shelves might be quickly emptying of holiday necessities, one might have to beg and barter for an empty shopping cart, and there might be that one shopper who tries to ignore the line completely, but I have survived and have completed my quest!

I think I got everything.

I hope that I got everything.

Oh well!

All the gifts are wrapped and under the tree, except that one for that one kid, I survived the epic quest that is grocery shopping on December 23. It’s windy, cold and raining right now. I’m cuddled up with my new heating pad for my aching joints and back. I just now opened that one more bottle of wine. I’m going to stay right here.

Happy Festivus to rest of us!

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