the promise of making it after all

Under The Big Top and in the mom-car the last few days an old song was heard which prompted a few questions from my darling son who could not possibly understand the impact a 70’s sitcom with a upbeat, simple theme song could have

How could he?

But for his mama this show did leave it’s mark. Oh to have that perfect shoulder length flip, drive that mustang and have that apartment — of course there would be a giant L on the wall. When that show first aired in 1970, and through the next seven years, it opened the eyes and sparked the imaginations of many young girls and women probably more than the actual leaders of the Women’s Liberation Movement whom we might have seen on the CBS Evening News with good old Walter Cronkite.


Never mind, son.

Here was a beautiful, single woman who was a career girl and not a career girl in the acceptable career girl type of jobs. She drove a cool car, lived in an even cooler apartment, always fashionably dressed and, while she certainly had her fair share of love and infatuations, she didn’t seem to need a man in her life to take care of her. At least that was how I saw it then and recall it now.

Daniel still doesn’t see the point.

He couldn’t. He’s a boy. He’s a boy born in this century where it is a given that women in his life do have choices — not just that choice — girls and young women now can imagine being almost anything when they grow up…wives…mommies…teachers…nurses…artists…business owners…scientists…politicians…almost anything with hard work, education and opportunity. When I was a girl, the sky was so much more limited. As a young girl, what could be more aspirational than your own sofa bed and bubble bath, with girlfriends popping in and out, boasting hilarious problems and even funnier bell-bottoms? When I was a young girl, going to college and getting a good job was expected, but it was a means to an end — to fall in love, to marry, to have babies, to take care of the babies and the home. The Mary Tyler Moore Show showed that there was more out there. Yes, I grew up and followed a traditional female career path, I did marry and did have a few babies too. But I continued to work in my chosen field. I raised my daughters to know that wherever their talents, education, hard work and a little luck takes them it is possible for them to make it, after all.

Maybe one of them can also master the iconic beret toss. I never could.

what comes next

So the March is over and those who participated and the media celebrates. Why not? Reports and interviews over the last few days clearly indicate that we got under the skin of the President and his surrogates. Naturally what would follow would be the opinions expressed by a few elected officials, business owners and even some women who basically feel the peaceful, global movement is not needed because in America, women do have everything they need and if they don’t, it’s their own fault, and marching won’t fix that.

Yeah, we touched a nerve.

Let’s keep standing on that nerve.

I will accept the idea shared by certain lawmakers that a woman who looks like me, a woman who is as old as, or perhaps older than me is safe from pussy grabbing. Looking at your shared images on your office websites and social media accounts, I would offer likewise.

Like the Christys out there, my life is fairly comfortable…now! I now have the good fortune of a good education, a career with good benefits, a cozy home in a nice, suburban neighborhood and a number of other amenities that I take for granted believing them to be necessities rather than luxuries. I am lucky to have a sober, hard-working spouse who loves and respects me as much as he loves and respects his adult daughters and teen-aged son. I live in a bubble now and because I was not raised in such a fortunate, comfortable bubble, I am well aware of that and I give thanks for that reality. It’s good to no longer have to live with domestic violence and abuse, alcoholism and drug abuse, crime and poverty. I give thanks for this life I live now all the time because that which was my childhood has never been my children’s reality, nor my grandchildren’s.

Marching with the colorfully diverse group of peoples through Oakland, high-fiving and hugging law enforcement officers who gamely wore pink pussy hats, I was well aware of the white privilege that protected us. We were a peaceful march; still a loud march that pretty much shut down downtown Oakland. The same was happening everywhere else that day. Take away the white old ladies, middle aged women, young families with children and even the celebrities would it have been the same? Regarding my privilege and the bubble I live in, I can’t help but ponder that.

So what comes next? The Women’s March had a YUGE impact, a BIGLY one. But it is just the beginning. On January 21, over 5 Million of us worldwide and over 1 Million in Washington, D.C., came to march, speak and make our voices heard. But it doesn’t end here – now is not the time to hang up our marching shoes – it’s time to get our friends, family and community together and make history.


The First Action: Write a postcard to your Senators about what matters most to you – and how you’re going to continue to fight for it in the days, weeks and months ahead.

Write down your thoughts. Pour your heart out on any issue that you care about, whether it’s ending gender-based violence, reproductive rights and women’s health, LGBTQIA rights, worker’s rights, civil rights, immigrant rights, religious freedom, environmental justice or anything else.

If you need some inspiration, check out the Women’s March Unity Principles and #WhyIMarch hashtag.

Overachiever that I am, I not only wrote my Senators (because Dianne Feinstein and Kamala Harris both are supportive of that which is important to me), but also my Representative, as well as the Senate Majority Leader, Speaker of the House and the man in the White House. Virtually everything that is important to me they are currently intent on tearing down and what over 5 million people like me did this weekend currently bugs the hell out of them.

This action was not hard. It literally took a half hour out of my day and a quick run to my local SaveMart to buy some stamps. Yeah, I recognize that  I’m still protesting in my little White Women bubble. But it’s a start and there is always a starting point. I intend to continue to move forward…onward even.

a classy woman who says fuck a lot

In a world where alternative facts are more true than what one’s actual eyes actually see and where NyQuil texting is an actual excuse for bad behavior, marchers in Washington DC, New York City, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Boston, Portland, Oakland and literally everywhere in the United States and across the globe should be held responsible for the things that Madonna said during live news feeds yesterday.

What a time to be alive y’all!!!

I am not responsible for anything Madonna (or anyone else involved in yesterday’s unprecedented event) might say. I do agree that to our detractors that insist that this march will never add up to anything, fuck you. Millions marched peacefully everywhere. Law enforcement officials in Washington, New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Portland and Oakland report no arrests or property damage during those peaceful assemblies. The movement is not done yet either as we launch 10 actions in the first100 days that literally anyone and everyone can participate in. We welcome to the revolution of love, to the rebellion, to our refusal as women to accept this new age of tyranny, where not just women are in danger but all marginalized people, where being uniquely different right now might truly be considered a crime. It took this horrific moment of darkness to wake us the fuck up.

Yesterday was amazing on so many levels. For me this was the best.

From a daughter to her mother…a woman who absolutely says fuck a lot. Am I classy? I don’t know. Perhaps not. But I am a mother who says fuck a lot; and a mother of four wonderful women who make me very proud and say fuck a lot too.

marching, not mourning

Are you in mourning?

Not today. Today was the most perfect. day to go for a walk.

A walk with one of my daughters.

From Grand Avenue…

to Broadway…

and all the way to Frank Ogawa Plaza…

encompassing the entire western shore of Lake Merritt…

and several blocks beyond because more than 60,000 women, men, mothers, daughters, sisters, sons, lovers, husbands, wives, fathers, grandmothers, grandfathers, aunties, uncles, beautiful babies, glorious women great with child, students, doctors, nurses, musicians, preachers, teachers, politicians, rocket scientists, artists and so many more walking shoulder to shoulder together could not be contained along the planned route.

Powerful, y’all. So powerful.

The streets echoed with drum beats, brass bands, guitars, BANJOES and so many stories…

so much hope…

so much love.

More than 60,000 Americans, immigrants, refugees walking together today in Oakland, California. Oakland Police report no property damage and no arrests.

Just a beautiful day, a beautiful day for a walk…together.



better things to do

On The Big Top calendar, written on January 20th is the day America ends. Melodramatic much, I know. While I appreciate and admire the Obama family and administration teaching us all how to say goodbye with this transition of power, I am not ready to accept it. Sorry, but I can not accept that man as my president…and I can’t imagine that I ever will. He has promised, and has already began to take steps to dismantle and remove so much that makes America great. That’s right Trumpkins, as messy and flawed as we are, America is already great because of US! So, for the first time since the Nixon administration, I will not be watching. Not on TV. I will not be listening on the radio. I will not be following on any social media platform. I can not and will not give that thin-skinned narcissist the attention, the numbers and the ratings that he so desperately craves. Besides, I’ve got better things to do.

  • Wash my hair. My daughter, Hollie,has been working hard to teach me that dirty hair is okay – and better for my hair. I can only use so much dry shampoo though; so tomorrow I am washing my hair.
  • I’m going to shave my legs too. Seeing a specialist today about the chronic joint pain, swelling and deformity that I have been dealing with for months now, I thought to myself that I should have shaved my legs this morning as he was examining my knees. Oh well, it’s winter! But tomorrow I am going to shave my legs.
  • Run errands.
  • Buy a rice cooker. I need one.
  • Buy some pretty, pretty flowers. I’m thinking a bouquet of white and purple blossoms would be lovely.
  • Listen to Hamilton and the Hamilton Mixtape. Better yet, I am going to listen to the Women’s March on Washington playlist on Spotify.
  • Laundry.
  • Binge watch. I’m thinking Master of None because laughing is going to be good tomorrow.
  • Smile and say hello to people.
  • Hold the door for someone.
  • Pay someone a compliment.
  • Punch a few holes in the walls of The Big Top because Fallon painted me a painting and Daniel has this vintage Sonic poster that he got for his birthday and they both need to hung.
  • Go see Hidden Figures, again, with my guys.
  • Work a little on this little arts and crafts project of mine.

Tomorrow is going to be a good day because I have so many better things to do.

Saturday is going to be even better.