wanted: role model in chief

I don’t know about you all but here we are halfway through 2017 and I am exhausted…like feeling older than the hills exhausted.

I am old enough to remember when Michelle Obama said, Let’s be very clear: Strong men – men who are truly role models – don’t need to put down women to make themselves feel powerful People who are truly strong lift others up. People who are truly powerful bring others together. 

It really does feel like a lifetime ago – yet it wasn’t. It was EIGHT MONTHS AGO!!!

Fuck!

When I was a little girl I looked to people like John F. Kennedy as an inspirational hero. Sure he was assassinated when I was just a toddler, but his influence and inspiration lived on; along with his brother, Bobby, and Martin Luther King Jr. Children look to the leaders, the men and women we see in media as role models to inspire us to aspire to our own greatness – the stuff that childhood fantasies and dreams are made of. Of course they are not perfect people, as no one is. But these role models show us strength, power, character in lifting up the weakest and bringing people together to do great things. It’s no surprise that for many children it is the Presidents that they look to for this. For my older children it was Bill Clinton. For my younger ones it was Barack Obama – and Michelle too. Yeah, like I said, not wholly perfect but, in a child’s view, larger than life, lifting others up and bringing others together.

And then there is the current President of the United States and…

Honestly, anyone with a child has to be asking themselves, how do I explain this President’s actions especially since he faces no consequences. Well, anyone except perhaps Sarah Huckabee Sanders. To defend a schoolyard bully saying he punches back harder when punched and that this is a good thing was beyond the pale – and laughable when suggested that the previous Administration was never attacked as much as this President and THIS President does show the dignity of the office every day in his actions.

All of America collectively smirks asking, you DO know Donald Trump?!

Pundits shake their heads and laugh at the expectation that our President of the United States should be a person above reproach in their character, dignified, a role model and a strong leader who inspires. This is Donald J. Trump, they tell us. And somehow, that is supposed to excuse him…excuse the tweets, the personal attacks, the misogyny, the bigotry…all of it with no apology.

NO!

We should expect better.

We deserve better.

Our children deserve someone living in the White House who inspires them to work harder,  to do better, to do good things, to do great things.

Currently there is no such person residing at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

Sad!

 

no one cares about your car

Before I met my darling husband, I awkwardly navigated the life that is being young, single and, perhaps not so ready to mingle but doesn’t want to be alone like pretty much every young, single adult ever. The amount of awkward that was me was ridiculous.

Kids, I can’t express enough to you how thankful I am that you never knew the young, single me. The fact that you’re alive is a miracle! No, really. It is.

But I was a kind of normal, single young woman and I wanted more than anything in the whole world to have somebody who loves me. So I did what most single, young people my age did – after I went to church and Bible Study that my aunt and uncle encouraged me to go to. They meant well. Like me, they wanted me to meet people and make friends but perhaps I was too awkward even for their church and College/Singles Bible Study. So, after Bible Study, I headed over to the local 18 and older club. Many thanks to that one girl in Bible Study who told me about it too.

No kids, the club is not where I met your father. 

Does anyone really meet their forever love and soulmate in the club?

I did mingle…and danced…and maybe drank a little…and maybe mingled some more…and came to appreciate the fact that the club was not the place where I would find my soulmate.

Wanna see my car? It’s a 260ZX and like super cool.

And it blah-blah-blah-blah…

Truth be told, it was a kind of cool car back when I was single and mingling. It’s an even cooler car decades later in 2017. But if the most exciting thing about a guy was his car, I was not mingling anymore.

My darling husband drove a 1973 Pinto Wagon when we met in 1982. I could have cared less about that car because to me there was so much more about this guy – his smile, his eyes, his wit, his attention to what I was thinking that was so much more important than his car…or the 260ZX owned by the bro up in the club.

To the bro in the club, and the Bible Study and anywhere then it’s not about the car that you drive. It never was about the car that you drive.

And today, years later, I am happy to discover that for my daughters and for their friends, that no one cares about the car you drive, bro. No one. Really.

Tonight I shall sleep the blissful slumber that is the truth that I have raised up my daughters right…and the mamas of their friends have too.

at last, docking

Eleven years is a long, long, long, long, LONG, LONG time to be on a cruise.

Believe me.

Such is life with a circus like mine.

Worth it though. Every single time they smile. Every time. Every single time.Truly, every damn time. And just when I thought we need to dock this cruise already, it was time to hit the high seas again – one last time.

But at last, at long last, we are docking this cruise we signed on and paid for. At long last!

Smile, Son!

Eleven years getting the best of orthodonture care from the best of orthodontists in the 209.I’m going to miss sending every six weeks in her office probably just as much as she is going to miss the checks that I have written her over the years. I shared with her today, for the first time, the tale of our beautiful smiles cruise. We both agree that it has been a long, but pretty delightful cruise with lots of smiles along the way. But all good things, even the best of cruises must end.

And we all can not help but smile even bigger and brighter – thanks to Dr. Duong.

.

 

after all this time, always

Twenty years ago, it became so much more magical under The Big Top thanks to a story about a boy who lived and went on to have some of the most amazing adventures with a motley crew of wizards, witches and muggles. Through the pages, Harry and friends taught us about life, love, acceptance, friendship, death, and bravery. As my circus act grew, they came to see themselves in some of the most beloved characters – including our own boy who lived. J. K. Rowling’s perfectly penned adventures have been with us through the years challenging each of us to be courageous in the face of adversity and to always remember that love and friendship are the most precious and the most magical things in the world.

The books that chronicle Harry’s adventures through the years now sit on a shelf showing all the wear and tear of the most loved and well-read of books that my children have grown up with; and for that I am thankful. Twenty years can pass in quite nearly a blink of an eye. Thank you J. K. Rowling for being there with me bringing up my own muggles and wizards –

and now the grands.

I would like to be remembered as someone who did the best she could with the talent she had.

~ J. K. Rowling

better than we found it

Although I realize this age and stage is barely a blink of my eye, I am enjoying the adventures I am having with my favorite son right now.

Adventures that sometimes mean long car rides, eclectic music playlists, sharing jokes and talking about almost anything and everything; because conversation with a teenaged child is, for some reason, so much easier when sitting together in the mom car while on the road.

Note: it also sometimes might test a driver’s reflexes and attention to road conditions.

Driving to his happy place this week, we talked of microclimates, current events, fidget spinners and why he should not spend ALL the money he received as graduation gifts. We discussed the universal truth that everyone is/was nervous and a little scared to start high school – even his heroes – perhaps especially his heroes. I enlightened him on the origins of the San Luis Reservoir and the fact that it is as old as I am as we motored our way through the Pacheco Pass. He might think of me as old, but he was, nevertheless, impressed. This time.

Heh.

At his happy place, together we walked along the shore sometimes talking, sometimes not. Definitely skipping stones into the surf and laughing at our dog’s reaction to the beach for the very first time. We also carried a bag and gathered up discarded cans, bottles, bits of plastic, paper and anything else that clearly did not belong here.

This place won’t stay beautiful if we don’t take care of it. Right, Mom?

Absolutely!

This time together at this age and stage of his life might be fleeting, but it is also kind of satisfying. I’m proud of the young man this favorite son of mine is becoming.

You’re welcome World!

Leave this world a little better than you found it

~ Robert Baden-Powell