and it all started with a big bang

Legos, Big Bang Theory, Batman. Can it really get better than this?

Well, yes. Yes it can.

Create your own personal mini-fig and invite yourself to the room where it happens.

…we are made of particles that have existed since the moment the universe began. I like to think those atoms traveled fourteen billion years through time and space to create us, so that we could be together… – The Matrimonial Momentum – The Big Bang Theory

I deserve this today, today I deserve it. – Batman – Lego Batman

the one he chooses

Just in case there is someone out there who hasn’t followed this circus life in the last year,

MY YOUNGEST CHILD IS GRADUATING FROM 8TH GRADE IN MAY!!!

Earlier this week, we attended a Welcome to High School meeting at the high school he will be registering for later this month and, again, I was overwhelmed with way too many emotions.
..my son…my miraculous son…my LAST child…HIGH SCHOOL…HOW IS THIS EVEN HAPPENING??!!
And then I was reminded that 8th grade pictures were due for the yearbook…the BABY pictures of the graduating 8th graders. Again came all the feels…just re-read the above.

Experience with the four siblings before him has taught me the importance of choosing the right baby picture because EVERYONE will be seeing that picture. Nakey baby, baby covered in food, dirt or gawd knows what, potty training baby or baby wearing anything that is not a legitimate hat upon their head kind of pictures are NOT ever the pictures that should be submitted for the baby pictures page…NO MATTER HOW CUTE! When in doubt it is best to consult the teenaged human child…always…trust me. But while it is important to consult the young graduate, it needs to be properly timed because adolescent angst and moodiness is everything and absolutely not the time to ask for their opinion.

I forgot and asked him anyway.

He shrugged and walked away.

While waiting for the right moment, I crowdsourced the question on social media. Everyone is OVER talking about politics and a thin-skinned president so why not?

For yearbook they want 8th graders’ baby pictures. Do I share the pic when he weighed 1 pound with all the tubes sustaining life or find a chubby baby pic when he was much older?

The response? 35% voted for the micro preemie, 28% voted for the “normal looking” chubby baby and 37% voted for him to choose. The biggest surprise for me was who voted for the chubby baby picture.

He was an adorable chubby baby…once he grew into a chubby baby with the help of a feeding tube in his belly and continuous, high caloric tube feedings. I imagine the chubby baby voters wouldn’t want to see the gastrostomy tube coming out of his stomach or the kangaroo feeding pump that was his shadow during those early years.

He was a beautiful micro preemie too. I wasn’t the only one who thought so during his 132 days in the NICU.

Looking through all the pictures of Daniel, as a micro preemie, as a growing baby and toddler, it is very hard for me to decide. I can’t decide. I ask him again, and, the sun and the moon and the stars were perfectly aligned so that he was willing to offer his opinion.

When I was tiny.

When you are tiny with all the tubes and wires attached to your body.

Yes. I’m a miracle. I want the tiny baby picture.

So he chooses and so it shall be.

 

the moment where we ask how did this happen

I’m really glad to be fifteen, Mom. And you know what the best part is? I’ll get to get my driver’s permit and practice driving. 

Why does my favorite son now imagine that this is the time to take a page from a sister’s, or another sister’s adolescent life story to give me heart failure?

True, today my son is fifteen; which makes us all old here. Remember when I first began this adventure and he was that adorable sweet-faced three year old?

Me too.

Well, he still has a very sweet face.

A sweet face with the shadow of a mustache and peach fuzz and baritone voice that reminds me that he thinks the best thing about turning fifteen is he will soon be able to get his learner’s permit…in six months and one day and AFTER he completes driver’s education which will be offered in his freshman year next school year.

SIGH!

I look at this young man I call son and am reminded that the fact he is alive is a miracle. Will I ever not pause to honor the memory of that early morning, the day that he was born? How tiny and fragile he was and, at the same time, how strong he was?

Likely never. Sorry, son.

But today I celebrate that day and the young man standing before me. Happy birthday my favorite son!

 

best made winter break plans

On New Year’s Eve, Christmas left The Big Top; and it packed up and left very quickly thanks to the help from my darling husband and my favorite son. Nothing more motivating than the idea of kicking 2016 to the curb and getting our New Year’s Party on I guess.

Happy New Year Bitches!

Yeah, she hated us for a moment there.

And so onward because with holidays over and one more week of Winter Break before back to school it was time for a little fun. Block out a week off from work. Have that What do you want to do…I don’t know what do you want to do conversation. Make some plans thinking this week is going to be fun.

And…

You will wake up like this. Guaranteed! At least I am still a majestic unicorn. A sick majestic unicorn who can barely get out of bed and squeak I’m sorry son as he brings you tea and cup of noodles.

He really is my favorite son!

And come Friday, just as you are starting to feel a little bit better, except for the coughing up a lung, you learn that atmospheric river is an actual thing. A real thing that has people in Northern Cali who actually remember the 1997 New Year storm and flooding in the Central Valley to stock up some supplies, clear the gutters, maybe get some sand bags, have the candles ready, charge all the tech devices and hunker down

Probably a very good idea since I am still coughing up a lung and a little bit…okay, a lot of snot! And with the NFL Wildcard Games and the Golden Globes on this weekend, well, I’m sorry son. Spring Break will be here soon.