where everyone wins

I will not play tug o’ war. I’d rather play hug o’ war.

Where everyone hugs instead of tugs, where everyone giggles and rolls on the rug,

where everyone kisses, and everyone grins, and everyone cuddles, and everyone wins.

I do believe what this world needs is more Shel Silverstein – and hugs too!

family night against humanity

When it’s family game night and your children gifted you with the biggest, blackest box and all the Cards against Humanity, you play.

And you try not to act too shocked when your once sweet, baby boy proves that he can nearly outplay the rest of us horrible people against humanity. He is, after all, his mother’s favorite son.

You might also get super annoyed while that one family member is taking forever to pick a card.

Perhaps a little impatient.

And if you are the one trying to select just the right card, you might not really care that everyone else is waiting for you – to pick a damn card already – because you will be the one to have picked the most perfect, horrible card against humanity.

We just might be horrible people; but we are the best together as family.

Family is not an important thing. It’s everything.

~ Michael J. Fox

for Mother’s Day

Have you seen what mothers want for Mother’s Day on Facebook?

Every year my children ask me the same question. After thinking about it, I decided I’d give them my real answer:
What do I want for Mother’s Day? I want you. I want you to keep coming around, I want you to bring your kids around, I want you to ask me questions, ask my advice, tell me your problems, ask for my opinion, ask for my help. I want you to come over and rant about your problems, rant about life, whatever. Tell me about your job, your worries, your kids, your fur babies. I want you to continue sharing your life with me. Come over and laugh with me, or laugh at me, I don’t care. Hearing you laugh is music to me.
I spent the better part of my life raising you the best way I knew how. Now, give me time to sit back and admire my work.
Raid my refrigerator, help yourself, I really don’t mind. In fact, I wouldn’t want it any other way.
I want you to spend your money making a better life for you and your family, I have the things I need. I want to see you happy and healthy. When you ask me what I want for Mother’s Day, I say “nothing” because you’ve already been giving me my gift all year. I want you.

At first read, I sighed a little “Awww” because it’s such a sweet sentiment. Yes, this is exactly what I wish for Mother’s Day, and every day with my kids, now that four of them are grown. I will always be your mother; but now I kind of want your friendship. Except for the fact that I remember when I was your age.

Yeah, I know how that sounds and I also know that you’re rolling your eyes just a little – perhaps a lot if you are that one kid of mine.

But I do, kids. I do recall what it was like to be your age trying to figure out this adult life thing along with love and sex and relationships, balancing budgets, saving – or not saving, school, career, marriage, having babies, having more babies, and everything else that is adulting. I know that nothing filled me more with self-doubt and self-loathing as an adult than the advice that I never really asked for – and there was a lot of it – whether I asked for it or not – usually I did not ask for it.

And so, kids, I bite my tongue – A LOT.

I want to talk to you about your life, your loves, your friends, your school, your career. I definitely wonder if marriage is for you – and children. I want to know about who was that one guy on your Instagram and Snapchat. I am curious about your plans for school, your job, your career. I even want to see what your friends are sharing about you on that birthday tribute page.  I do, kids. I really do.

But I can still remember when I was your age.

Some things are private – for you – for me. As mom, I am not a fan. As a person who values the trust we have built together, you know, as friends, I do my best to respect you.

Yeah, I bite my tongue a lot.

But, my dear kids, I know that I raised up some pretty awesome people – because of, or perhaps in spite of my parenting. And that is why I am privileged to enjoy our conversations – when you ask me questions, ask my advice, tell me your problems, ask for my opinion, ask for my help. When you to come over and rant about your problems, rant about life, whatever. When you tell me about your job, your worries, your kids, your fur babies. I love when you laugh with me and, occasionally, when you laugh at me. I love when you are here, raiding my refrigerator and pantry too. Most of all, I love just hanging out with you – all of you. That time together reminds me what amazing people my children are and, yeah, I am going to take some credit for that.

I love you kids! Thank you for making me a mom. More than anything, that is the best Mother’s Day gift; all of you.

days worth celebrating

Pretty much every one knows by now that this week was a landmark week with National Siblings Day and National Pets Day. We know this, of course thanks to social media and all of the I-really-don’t-like-these-national-whatever-days-but-here-is-a-picture-of-my-punk-brother-and-brat-sister-and-me-and-my-cat-and-my-dog-and-my-hedgehog. Thanks social media friends, even if you really don’t care abouhonoring those life-long cradle to grave relationships that are the ones you share with brothers and sisters or celebrate the joy pets bring to our lives and to create public awareness about the plight of many different kinds of animals awaiting a forever home in shelters and rescues all around the globe. Yeah, we see your feigned indifference and we are not buying it. Not at all.

You care about those people we practice on, the people who teach us about fairness and cooperation and kindness and caring, quite often the hard way.

Your cat, on the other hand, probably doesn’t care. She probably doesn’t even care about National Grilled Cheese Day, which is today.. She would care if I were to make this grilled cheese sandwich. WE ALL WOULD CARE! Alas, my darling husband is on a strict diet right now and I am joining him in solidarity and because I could stand to lose a few myself. 

Meanwhile, this picture posted on social media in celebration of days worth celebrating is truly the best and the one, for me, most worth celebrating.

Although I fear I might never be able to forgive their parents for allowing them to grow up so fast.

Sister is probably the most competitive relationship within the family, but once the sisters are grown, it becomes the strongest relationship.

~ Margaret Mead