tell me again raising teen boys is so much easier

Because Mommy needed a lot of cheering up tonight because the furnace currently doesn’t work and it’s COLD here under The Big Top and she is mourning the end of what she thought was a wonderful friendship over the stupid of the last week and the stubborn rage of the offended party and aggravating bullshit of an afternoon conference call today…and this ridiculously stupid run-on sentence, my darling husband and favorite son took me out tonight for margaritas and Mexican food…good, authentic Mexican food. And just as I was finishing the first margarita, Daniel started to choke on the massive, huge, big-as-his-head burrito…like really choking.

OMG, he’s choking!

Always scary. Even scarier when the person choking has a paralyzed vocal cord

As Bill reaches over to help, Daniel is able to cough up the offending piece of food blocking his airway.

I’m okay! I’m okay!

Holding up his hand towards both of us, he makes it clear that he is okay.

He is okay…except for the fear in his eyes as he fights back crying.

Are you sure you’re okay, son?, I implore with the Mom-is-worried-and-scared-and-wants-to-hug-right-now tone.

He tries to look up as he barely whispers that he is okay but he can’t because then he really will lose his shit here in the restaurant.

Come on, Son. Let’s go shoot some pool. Bill pats him on the shoulder as they rise to head to the bar side of the restaurant where the pool table is. Mom can order another margarita while we play a game.

And today’s lesson: Sometimes Mom being concerned mom can only make it worse when you are a teenaged boy. Just let Dad  be dad and shoot some pool…as guys do…I guess.

So noted. I’ve got so much more to learn, I imagine.

baritones

It’s the middle of the day and I am supposed to be sleeping right now because I am working tonight. Obviously, I am not. But I am resting in bed with my laptop and a cup of very strong coffee. Going to need that and more to get me through the night for sure. I am also enjoying listening to the voices that carry through The Big Top.

Baritones, both of them, deep in conversation.

I love my baritones.

as always, sticking together

Almost fourteen years ago, I managed to capture an amazing shot of the men in my life and what proved to be one of my most favorite photos of them.

A photo of the hand of our son, Daniel Quinn, scarcely 30 weeks adjusted age and just 2 pounds and the newest member of the Kilo Club, as he tried to grasp the index finger of his father’s hand.

One year later, as we celebrated Daniel’s first birthday and the finalization of our adoption, it served to remind us just how small he really was and how far he had come then.

A year after that, it would receive a special photo journalism award in a local photography show as it astounded the judges with one who truly was Fearfully and Wonderfully Made…it also irritated a local photo journalist that an amateur photographer would receive such an award…over her entry.

Today that photo is properly framed and hanging amongst so many other treasured photographs of our circus act here under The Big Top.

But today, inspired by the works of Red Methot’s Les Prèmas, I tortured my men with a photo shoot…as a mamarazzi will do.

Fourteen years later we prepare to celebrate tomorrow, as we do every year, because every birthday of a 1 pound baby boy born 4 months too soon is something one must always celebrate. We celebrate our preemie, Notre Préma, as parents should. Tomorrow this most extraordinary and most favorite son shall be FOURTEEN YEARS OLD which absolutely deserves all the shouty caps and everything else that we could possibly offer him. Oh, and I should add that we couldn’t possibly be more proud and happy that we get to call him our most favorite son…as we do every day. On the cusp of completing his fourteenth year, he is suddenly aware of the fact that he is our only son…but yes, absolutely, our most favorite son…something that we all celebrate here under The Big Top.

And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out into the world it is best to hold hands and stick together.

Robert Fulghum

giving thanks

There’s much to be thankful for on this day of Thanksgiving in the US. Last year a moment like this would not have been imagined because, yes, his health was THAT bad. He couldn’t/wouldn’t see it but everyone else saw it…and often would take me aside to express their concern.

So I should give thanks for this moment.

I do.

Truly.

And I also give thanks for what happened ten months ago too because he was so damn lucky and finally could see what everyone could see and worried about.

That expression of gratitude likely makes me a horrible person in the eyes of some. That’s probably why I am so good at Cards Against Humanity.

Oh, and I give thanks for the fun we had as a family playing that last night.

Happy Thanksgiving y’all.

Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flabby another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light. ~ Albert Einstein

NaPhoPoMo