mother, child, friend

Twenty five years ago, we met face to face for the very first time. That’s right folks, my Zoë Elizabeth is twenty five years old!

She steals my breath every time I regard her while basking in her warm, bright, shining face.

Twenty five years ago I was her mother and she was my child. Through the years we challenged one another in many ways. There were the times where I did find myself saying out loud, “I am not your friend, I am your mother.” I might have even screamed it through an abruptly slammed door. But that is part of being a parent. I won’t lie though, I wanted to be her friend. I really, really wanted to be her friend. I have always loved talking to her, laughing with her, playing with her. Yesterday she called me her friend and with her now at twenty five, we are at a place where we can be friends.

Always her mother, always my daughter, and now my friend.

Happy birthday cheers my darling daughter and friend!

 

October five faves

October is the fallen leaf, but it is also the wider horizon more clearly seen. It is the distant hills, once more in sight., and the enduring constellations above them once again.

~ Henry Rollins

And October, you kind of seemed to take a very long time. All is forgiven though because all in all, October you were mostly good.

Check meowt! It means “check me out”, Mima!

That moment when you can see, feel, smell and taste that your darling husband loves you and wants you to be happy.

After work nights like last night, I am reminded how lucky I am to be a part of the best NICU team because I get to work with some pretty talented, kick-ass NICU rock stars. But this (and so many other candid shots) reminds me of the joie de vivre  they all possess and share so freely with the ones they love, the ones they care for and the ones they work with. Blessed, y’all! We are blessed!

She bought herself flowers for no darned good reason – except they were beautiful and she deserved more beauty in her life.” As we all do, y’all.

November, bring all of that more beauty!

 

when sisters are great

Summer vacation from school can really suck sometimes; especially when your parents work life and that thing they call being an adult get in the way. I try to placate the kids with I know how you feel, but really what would a mom as old as me really understand about any of that. Still I do try, as do many other parents distracted by work life and not enough vacation time and adulting obligations that get in the way. My friends, Kristen and Liz, really nailed it discussing this topic recently in their podcast with Jessica Lahey.

All good stuff really; but it doesn’t help ease the disappointment when your son’s plans fall through…the plans that he literally was counting down the days to and that you perhaps  misunderstood but you likely did not because you were actually trying to downplay and distract son from his calendar countdown to make alternate plans because you had a feeling…

It is then that you and your son give thanks for sisters; big sisters who drive and who have a day off when mom and dad don’t.

Sisters and their friends are awesome like that. He’ll ignore that which usually annoys him about sisters and girls right now because here is …

His happy place.

And this week, for now, he agrees that sisters are great.

 

our favorite baby daddy

Ask Hazel who is Amber and she will tell you very matter of factly, “She’s my Baby Daddy.”

Because she is.

The friendship between Hollie and Amber is a friendship that binds them together in spite of life choices and directions and distance. Get a job and some of the closest bonds will loosen. Have a baby and suddenly single friends aren’t around as often. Fall in love, get married and some bonds become undone because lust and love get in the way. Move and suddenly it becomes hard to stay close, get together, stay in touch even with smart phones and social media. Weather through all this and more and the promise of best friends forever is sealed.

This is Hollie and Amber.

When Hollie needed a friend the most there was Amber. Through the pregnancy; the pregnancy alone. Yes, mom and dad and family were there but mom and dad and family can’t quite fill the soul mate void during one of the more challenging milestones in a young woman’s life. Through the labor and delivery; that likely scarred her for life witnessing her best friend screaming at her mother that this FUCKING HURTS and her mother answers back in agreement that yeah it FUCKING hurts because mom knows that it fucking hurts thank you darling daughter. At that moment when Hazel was born and her best friend became a mother, Amber was there.

After Hollie and after Hollie’s mom, Amber, who provided the kind of support Hollie needed the most during one of her more challenging times, held Hazel…and of course it was love bonded forever.

Always.

Hazel has a Father and Hazel has a great Daddy and Hazel has the best and most beautiful Baby Daddy.

We call her Hazel’s Baby Daddy because, biology aside, it’s true; and because we love her.

 

after the first 10,000

Saturday afternoon chill poolside at a friend’s as we celebrate one of their grand babies’ first birthday.

No complaints y’all. Not one.

I brought my camera, as I almost always do because I am the Mamarazzi and any good mamarazzi knows you never know when the moment to take a snapshot might pop up. All good mamarazzis are prepared.

That’s true.

That’s some camera! Are you like a professional photographer?

No. No, I’m not. I just like to take pictures…a lot of pictures.

Hubs adds, A LOT of pictures!

You must be good with a camera like that.

Well, I take like 10,000 pictures and maybe two or three or four are really good.

Hubs adds, She IS really good.

Thank goodness my darling husband appreciates the photos I take…

and display.

everywhere under The Big Top.

Literally everywhere!

With more than thirty three years of memories  and moments captured in snapshots of course they would be everywhere.

Thank goodness my darling husband appreciates all the photographs that I must display since he is the one to help me hang the photo ledges that display so many of them. As I sat in our sitting room this morning, drinking my morning cup of coffee, I couldn’t help but feel home surrounded by years, decades of memories.

Downsize my moments captured? I don’t think so. I remember reading once about the passing of Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis where she went peacefully surrounded by those she loved and her books and her photographs. I can only hope and pray for an end like that someday…hopefully a very long time from today.

A good snapshot keeps a moment from running away.

~ Eudora Welty