as long as there have been people

Perhaps the soundest advice for parents is: Lighten up. People have been raising children for approximately as long as there have been people.

~ George Will

They exhaust you, confound you, frustrate you, revive you, warm you and, just to keep you humble, remind you that your are much too fast becoming old as they grow up much too fast.

And it’s a good thing god made them cute.

Hazel: You know, like, people used to have phones in the old days that didn’t leave the house.

Hollie: The old days? Ouch! Hazel, some people still have those.

Hazel: But isn’t that like, soooo 90’s?

😑😑😑😑

:::stifling giggles:::

Oh take heart my darling daughter, the mother of my extraordinary, much too wise and worldly smart, grand daughter.

Just as they enchant us, they humble us every single moment that they can seize in there child-like grip…like when my own precious daughter described to me the giant, black music discs they played in 3rd grade…or had me explain what is it I mean by dial this number for me…because what is dialing a number anyway, mom?!

:::patting the spot next to me:::

Come sit next to me, here on the old mommy bench. Be sure to save the space next to you because someday…

Try not to laugh too loud when  that baton is passed.

 

scenes from a Safeway

Some days it just is not possible to get in and get out quickly while running errands. Like today at my friendly, neighborhood Safeway.

Police officer to store clerk, bagger and me: Excuse me, but we are looking for this woman 

:::holds up photograph of a waif-like, elderly woman:::

Have any of you seen her here today?

Store clerk: She’s STILL missing?!

Police officer: Actually we found her yesterday. She’s been reported missing by the family again today. 

Bagger: Whenever she comes in here she has no money and tries to get alcohol.

Police Officer: Yeah, we’re thinking there is a problem going on with this family since she seems to turn up missing all the time.

Bagger: Haven’t seen her today, sorry. But I imagine she’ll show up soon looking to buy alcohol with no money.

:::muttering to myself::: Why does this sound like my future?

And everyone laughs just a little.

I DO hope they found that tiny, little old lady safe and sound.

just when I think getting older really sucks…

Today was my annual head to toe check up complete with lab work and boob smashing referrals. Hurray, hurray, hurray! Added bonus is a new med to take because menopause is becoming more and more of a bitch and all I can say is $140 is a helluva lot of money to charge for ONE PILL!!! Actually I can also say that I am so happy for the insurance that we have with a good prescription plan because although $10 for ONE PILL is ridiculous it is so much less ridiculous than $140.

And how in the world can I be dealing with First World Old People Problems when I don’t feel THAT old…except when I first wake up and get out of bed in the morning or when I hobble home after a 12 hour long shift?

I should really be allowed to feel sorry for myself right now.

I should.

But it could be worse.

So much worse.

On a barren seafloor, the pearlfish swims into the safety of a sea cucumber’s anus. To find a meal, the female bolas spider releases pheromones that mimic a female moth, luring male moths into her sticky lasso web. The Glyptapanteles wasp injects a caterpillar with her young, which feed on the victim, erupt out of it, then mind-control the poor (and somehow still living) schmuck into protecting them from predators.

These are among the curious critters of The Wasp That Brainwashed the Caterpillar, a jaunt through evolution’s most unbelievable, most ingenious solutions to the problems of everyday life, from trying to get laid to finding food. Join Wired science writer Matt Simon as he introduces you to the creatures that have it figured out, the ones that joust with their mustaches or choke sharks to death with snot, all in a wild struggle to survive and, of course, find true love.

 

What the actual fuck?????

It COULD be worse.

I’ll just swallow that bitter little pill of mine, find the right balance of exercise and, yes, buy Matt Simon’s book because I need to feel better about my aging self.

 

 

tying back the hands of time

This past Christmas, my darling husband gifted me with music…music of our youth…the best of times.

Dudes! I was pretty excited for thiis…and, at last! Tonight’s the night…

I felt like that girl back in high school…or maybe even in my twenties…

surrounded by so many OLD PEOPLE!

Oh!

Wait.

Yeah…These just might be the the worst of times with the world turning upside down but baby, thank god, I know you’ll be around right here, right now.

On us all, the lines are definitely clear enough but tonight was the best, the best of times.

fifty four

The minute you’re born, you’re getting older.

~ Doris Roberts

Boom!

Deal with it!

Today I have successfully completed fifty four years of waking up and living every single day. I’m celebrating.

But first, let me take a selfie.

No filters, no crazy edit app to to perfect365 the shit out of this face of mine to the point it looks so plastic that it’s laughable…I do laugh when I regard pictures like that which I see on social media, especially if I know you because WHY??????!!!!!! Pro tip: If you are posed in the picture with your darling significant other or your children it appears all the more fake. Better to stand in front of the sunny window of your kid’s room as I did this morning and smile.

I’m fifty four years old today and every damn day of this year and although I have no clue what the rest of today or this year will bring, I am going to do my very best to enjoy.