There is much too much for me to tell you that I am thankful for as a grandmother, excuse me, as a Mima. One thing that I find myself giving thanks for often is just being there. Being mom means mastering the art of juggling because mom literally must be all of it and do it all and look good all the while. I can’t even begin to list all the times I failed all of this as mom. If only I could have called up “Mom” for the times when I could not juggle it all. So these moments when Hollie calls upon me, I am filled with so much gratitude and joy that I can be there.
Hazel calls me to invite me to a Mother’s/Family lunch at her school and my day is planned!
Yes, I give thanks for the fact that I can set aside the afternoon for her – and that my darling husband is able to take the afternoon off to pick up our own son from school because while Hazel’s school is hosting a Mother’s/Family lunch, Daniel’s school is dismissed at noon for Teachers’ Inservice.
Welcome to our adventures in juggling; which I guess goes on even after most of the kids have grown and left The Big Top.
It means so much to know that Hollie will call me and say, Mom,can you do this for Hazel or Fallon; and I know it means just as much to her because if only I could have called up “Mom” for the times when I could not juggle it all.
And this. OMG, this! Lunch with the one who named me Mima,…I will absolutely put on my prettiest springtime dress, curl my hair and sit in the school courtyard with the Delta winds whipping up all the dust and pollen and my hair while sharing Lunchables with this girl; the one who corrected me when I met her best friend’s mother and introduced myself as Hollie’s Mom and Hazel’s grandmother – you are not a Grandmother, you are a Mima!
Lunch time is the best time!
I’m 30 years old, Mom, and he still tells me this.
Some things never, ever change and I am glad that they don’t sometimes…at least this time. Because other things change much, much too quickly.
Like the reality that she is 30 and they are 8 turning 9 (in SEVEN WEEKS) and 5.
Thirty years ago, I embarked an adventure. I was fearful of the changes that were to come, but I was more anxious believing all the declarations that there would be nothing but pain that would take me into this adventure; and that there was literally nothing that I could do about it.
Accept it, they told me. Submit to it, I was advised. Wisdom passed down to me by those who had been there and done that…and who shaped me into the person who believed that I had no strength, no power in anything.
And then, Hollie was born. Thirty years ago.
Thirty years ago, I began to see some of my deepest fears about myself and realized that I was so much stronger than them.
Birth is the sudden opening of a window, through which you look out upon a stupendous prospect. For what has happened? A miracle. You have exchanged nothing for the possibility of everything.
– William Macneile Dixon
From my nothing, or at least the nothing I was raised to believe to be true about myself came the possibility of everything. Thirty years ago today, it all began.
Thirty years ago today, it all began with her.
Here again I literally gasp out loud finding it hard to believe that I am the part of someone so beautiful in all the ways…in spite of the million mistakes I have made along the way of this adventure. But I am.
Thirty years ago began the adventure.
Happy birthday my dear, darling daughter. Thanks for making me Mom.
Hollie: What do you think of me doing this for Mima’s hair today?
Fallon: I think this is better for Mima’s hair!
She also declared that she is a better braider than her mama..because she is!
Well my darling Fallon, someday, I will gladly sit in your chair and my hair shall be your canvas…someday when day-glo, rainbow, unicorn hair is not a flagrant work place dress code violation.
Today I will revel in a few hours of mommy-daughter time while I sit in my daughter’s chair watching her create with amazing colors and textures…and I will feel pretty…and thankful. Thankful for this time. Our time. Our time together…mother and daughter…artist and canvas.
It is currently 95 degrees outside and try though I may to not turn on the AC because of last month’s crazy, stupid PG&E bill because it was crazy, stupid, typical triple-digit hot, here I am with the AC on.
I am so ready for Fall.
The jacket I received in my latest Stitch Fix box reminds me I should be thinking about Fall.
Football reminds me about Fall.
Everyone’s mad love for Pumpkin Spiced Lattes reminds me that I should be thinking about Fall. Pumpkin Spiced Lattes? Meh! I could care less. But I respect those of you who love, love, love all things pumpkin spiced…even the Pumpkin Spice Cheerios. All the pumpkin spice everything just reminds me that I really should be thinking about Fall.
And the magic that my darling, first-born child did with my hair today also reminds me that I should be thinking about Fall.
Pumpkin spice she called it which is funny considering that she struggles to say the words pumpkin spice almost as much as she does trying to say moist.
As she reads this, she is probably muttering under her breath, Oh my gawd, Mom, I hate you. No, she doesn’t really hate me. She just hates the way I can say moist so easily and freely in her presence…kind of like the way her partner at Lux Salon does. Speaking of Lux Salon in the 209, it is definitely THE place to go to for all the pretty colors and fabulous hair.