ready for Fall

It is currently 95 degrees outside and try though I may to not turn on the AC because of last month’s crazy, stupid PG&E bill because it was crazy, stupid, typical triple-digit hot, here I am with the AC on.

I am so ready for Fall.

The jacket I received in my latest Stitch Fix box reminds me I should be thinking about Fall.

Football reminds me about Fall.

Everyone’s mad love for Pumpkin Spiced Lattes reminds me that I should be thinking about Fall. Pumpkin Spiced Lattes? Meh! I could care less. But I respect those of you who love, love, love all things pumpkin spiced…even the Pumpkin Spice Cheerios. All the pumpkin spice everything just reminds me that I really should be thinking about Fall.

And the magic that my darling, first-born child did with my hair today also reminds me that I should be thinking about Fall.

Pumpkin spice she called it which is funny considering that she struggles to say the words pumpkin spice almost as much as she does trying to say moist.

As she reads this, she is probably muttering under her breath, Oh my gawd, Mom, I hate you. No, she doesn’t really hate me. She just hates the way I can say moist so easily and freely in her presence…kind of like the way her partner at Lux Salon does. Speaking of Lux Salon in the 209, it is definitely THE place to go to for all the pretty colors and fabulous hair.

 

and after six years

And now six years later, these two seem to remain just as impossibly, perfectly meant to be as the day they pledged to be together to infinity and beyond.

Infinity and the beyond that is making a life and a home together for the two of them and their impossibly, perfectly, wonderful daughters. It’s not all smoke and mirrors y’all. These two have worked hard together and we can’t help but be proud of all the adventures to infinity and beyond that they have made. They have grown up together coming through many adventures…some wonderful and some that would knock the wind out of you. Still they live, love and thrive.

Yeah, we’re also a little jealous of how perfectly gorgeous they continue to be.

Happy anniversary Hollie and Ben!

a natural and common event

A miscarriage is a natural and common event. All told, probably more women have lost a child from this world than haven’t. Most don’t mention it, and they go on from day to day as if it hadn’t happened, so people imagine a woman in this situation never really knew or loved what she had. But ask her sometime: how old would your child be now? And she’ll know.
— Barbara Kingsolver

Much has been happening in the lives of my circus act this week. Much to celebrate and give thanks for…sending children off to school…new jobs…college life…marriages to celebrate…milestones achieved…all good and wonderful things for which we all celebrate and are thankful for. Yet all the good, so much good, is tempered right now with our hearts bruised and aching as we hold one of ours in this moment.

Yes, it’s like the wind has been knocked out of us because so many wishes, hopes and dreams are attached to this brand new life.

Miscarriage, yes, is a natural and common event. It doesn’t make it any easier to get over even if that is what might be the expectation. An acquaintance said recently how awkward they feel comforting someone who needs comfort; which I guess is supposed to make it okay to not even try. I countered that perhaps literally looking someone you know and care about in the eye and say to them “I’m sorry” is really all that is needed because no matter how awkward you feel, trust me, their pain is so much more. In the end as they heal, they will remember who cared to say that…and who awkwardly said or did nothing.

I’m sorry is simply all that is needed…add a hug, even better…a casserole for extra points.

In all seriousness, it hurts. I know it hurts my child more than it hurts me right now but it hurts still. It’s a hurt I can’t kiss away for her. It’s a loss that reminds me of my own years and years ago…the three of them would be 31 and 26 years old today

For my daughter and son in law, I am so sorry, so very sorry.

 

 

the sweet and the bitter

My social media timeline today reminds me that it is a big day in the life of many people I know because,

yes, Back to School season continues. This time today with these two.

You heard me!

These TWO!

BOTH of these girls.

BOTH OF THEM!

I look at this 8 year old before she enters into her third grade classroom thinking how can she possibly look so much more mature than an 8 year old…I mean I certainly did not look this confident and self assured and all I choose to remember of my own 3rd graders was how they were all elbows and knees with a smudge of dirt or breakfast on their chin that somehow missed my inspection on the first day of school. How could Hollie and Ben possibly allow this little girl to grow up so fast?

And then,

You guys!

The only positive thing I can say might be hurray for a November birthday and the state law of 5 years old by September 1st because, you guys!!!

Time is passing faster and faster y’all. I can’t make it stop. I’m just going to hold on as tight as I can while I can.

Happy school year my darling grand girls! Mima loves you with all her hearts!

The most beautiful moments always seemed to accelerate and slip beyond one’s grasp just when you want to hold onto them for as long as possible.

E. A. Bucchianeri

our favorite baby daddy

Ask Hazel who is Amber and she will tell you very matter of factly, “She’s my Baby Daddy.”

Because she is.

The friendship between Hollie and Amber is a friendship that binds them together in spite of life choices and directions and distance. Get a job and some of the closest bonds will loosen. Have a baby and suddenly single friends aren’t around as often. Fall in love, get married and some bonds become undone because lust and love get in the way. Move and suddenly it becomes hard to stay close, get together, stay in touch even with smart phones and social media. Weather through all this and more and the promise of best friends forever is sealed.

This is Hollie and Amber.

When Hollie needed a friend the most there was Amber. Through the pregnancy; the pregnancy alone. Yes, mom and dad and family were there but mom and dad and family can’t quite fill the soul mate void during one of the more challenging milestones in a young woman’s life. Through the labor and delivery; that likely scarred her for life witnessing her best friend screaming at her mother that this FUCKING HURTS and her mother answers back in agreement that yeah it FUCKING hurts because mom knows that it fucking hurts thank you darling daughter. At that moment when Hazel was born and her best friend became a mother, Amber was there.

After Hollie and after Hollie’s mom, Amber, who provided the kind of support Hollie needed the most during one of her more challenging times, held Hazel…and of course it was love bonded forever.

Always.

Hazel has a Father and Hazel has a great Daddy and Hazel has the best and most beautiful Baby Daddy.

We call her Hazel’s Baby Daddy because, biology aside, it’s true; and because we love her.