a whole different view

I’m fifty five.

Yes.

And suddenly I move up into a new age category on most surveys. I actually can now get the Senior discount at some fine dining establishments like Dennys and Ihop – heh. My body won’t stop reminding me the number of times I have circled the sun thanks to gravity either.

Happy birthday to me!

I won’t lie, there is a feeling of ambivalence yet at the same time the usual optimism because it is my birthday and I am fifty five…and very much alive! Inspired by photographer  Justin Hackworth, I decided to attempt a new photo project which includes a little bit of personal navel gazing – 55 self portraits to represent me at 55. Justin is right, this can be a challenge. But in that challenge I see me as I turn 55 – and, if you will indulge me, so do you.

It’s a whole different lens you look through the older you get. ~ Andre Agassi

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

years and inches later

Remember when 3 year old Hazel was nearly as tall as her 9 year old Uncle Daniel?

You know, before we got a diagnosis that explained it all and more, and before we began the daily injections of human growth hormones.

Well if you can recall those good times then you just might understand one of the reasons why I love this moment captured yesterday.

You know, besides the obvious fact that I adore these three people so much. This would be 15 year old Uncle Daniel, all five feet of him, standing next to his nieces; Hazel, turning 9 in 4 months and 5 years old Fallon. And although we are all very well aware that his nieces will likely pass him in height soon enough, because Hazel is currently the tallest student in her third grade, we all are very pleased with this moment.

I also have mad love for this shot because all three of them are getting along standing together and smiling. Given that this is Daniel, Hazel and Fallon, that might be an even bigger deal.

Like I said, many, many reasons to love this shot.

 

blogtography 2016 edition

Beyond my circus life, I’m not so sure about this year. 2016 was awfully harsh and stormy and blustery and a little bit dark…with even darker dark looming up ahead. But under The Big Top, 2016 was a pretty good year and a good time with a lot of love, light, laughter and hope.

A patient’s family handed me lemons the other day.

Add this to the No Matter How Old And Independent Your Children Are…or maybe think they are….They Will Still Need You files.

Pretty much all the honest truth telling there is in the world is done by children.

Are you in a good mood now, Mom?

Oh hey! that’s my name!

Nothing screams romance and sexy time anniversary celebrations than…moving.And because we are moving and we are celebrating our wedding anniversary, of course there is wine…wine in Solo cups because we have been packing up all the things.

Right here, right now, I’m thinking the best decision ever in moving The Big Top was to have this sweet oasis set up…to escape the chaos and endless to-do list inside The Big Top…to enjoy the quiet here uptown…here…home.

Golden Birthday Girls are just like us.

When he looks in the mirror, we want our son to know himself. It’s hard to face the world when you don’t know where your face came from.

You’re going to be there when a lot of people are born, and when a lot of people die. In most every culture, such moments are regarded as sacred and private, made special by a divine presence. No one on Earth would be welcomed, but you’re personally invited. What an honor that is.

And for a moment, I do reflect a little on the fact that there is no control once you are gone who tells your story.

Excuse me people but lately I am having some serious mad love for my neighborhood.

I kind of like science, Mom. I like it a lot.

Ah, Harry…you need a shave, my friend.

Give me a moment. Give all of us a moment.

I hope she will some day recall this once upon a December day and smile. I know that I will.

 

November five faves

Can’t lie. November I am so glad to see you gone. Sure, we had some moments; but all in all, November you were much too harsh.

Sigh!

Every time someone suggests that I just need to get over it and accept that that man and the ilk he has surrounded himself with will be leading our country I will gladly pull up their timeline over the last EIGHT YEARS on social media. Twenty-three days later and it just feels all the more frightening to imagine that this is really real.

Twenty-three really is lovely!

So is five.

Still November, you were mostly awful.  I will say goodbye choosing to focus on the brief moments of good rather than all the gray haired times that you have wrought.

Bye!

Wind warns November’s done with. 
The blown leaves make bat-shapes,
Web-winged and furious.
~ Sylvia Plath

October five faves

October is the fallen leaf, but it is also the wider horizon more clearly seen. It is the distant hills, once more in sight., and the enduring constellations above them once again.

~ Henry Rollins

And October, you kind of seemed to take a very long time. All is forgiven though because all in all, October you were mostly good.

Check meowt! It means “check me out”, Mima!

That moment when you can see, feel, smell and taste that your darling husband loves you and wants you to be happy.

After work nights like last night, I am reminded how lucky I am to be a part of the best NICU team because I get to work with some pretty talented, kick-ass NICU rock stars. But this (and so many other candid shots) reminds me of the joie de vivre  they all possess and share so freely with the ones they love, the ones they care for and the ones they work with. Blessed, y’all! We are blessed!

She bought herself flowers for no darned good reason – except they were beautiful and she deserved more beauty in her life.” As we all do, y’all.

November, bring all of that more beauty!