to the moon and back

I really didn’t want to be one of those people sharing all the romance and flowers and love notes and gifts that are Valentine’s Day. I really didn’t. My darling husband and I are basically old married people…he looks like a grumpy Get Off My Lawn old man and every waking and most sleeping hours I am now painfully aware of my swollen, achy, arthritic joints…so we basically made no plans for Valentine’s Day. It’s for the young ones we agreed.

Still my darling husband DID buy new dishes the week before. Understand that we have had the same dishes since we were potty training adult members of this circus act. We now have dinnerware for GROWN UPS; dinnerware that I noticed one time months prior as really good looking dinnerware. Y’all can have your flowers and cards and box of chocolates and wine…okay, I would like the wine too…but my darling husband and I don’t need One Day to express our love. We have every day together and five children and two grandchildren and brand new dishes. So, for Valentine’s Day, which was Tuesday, I worked so that the young ones could have the night off…and go out to dinner on a Tuesday. My darling husband and I have the weekend off when our favorite restaurant won’t be crowded at all. Oh, and we have new dishes too!

Love is in the air here under The Big Top!

Coming home, early Tuesday morning, the last thing I expected was this.

Sometimes, I think about the day we met. I think about how I was in the right place at the right time to see your face, and how you smiled a smile that told me you were someone amazing. Ever since the day we met, you’ve made me realize that true love has perfect timing.

Yeah.

New dishes, beautiful flowers and the best love note ever! There is a very good reason why I call him my darling husband.

Yeah.

I love him too, to the moon and back.

Of course I shared these beautiful flowers all over social media, as young lovers, old married people and all those other people do on Valentine’s Day.

 

 

working on messy love

Years and years ago, back when The Big Top was scarcely beginning, a friend of mine gossiped confided about what another dear friend had shared about her marriage…that it was work…WORK, she snorted. Love and marriage is not work, at least it should not be…in her humble opinion. Years and years later, the three of us all are still married to the same darling husbands and having been married to the same darling husbands for 33+ years, I would imagine that we all can agree together that there is some work…maybe a lot of work involved in more than 33 years of marriage.

I thought about that a lot a couple of years ago when a certain actor/director/producer accepted a Best Picture Academy Award and acknowledged that his marriage to another actor was the best kind of work, which then cued up all the talk that their marriage was DOOMED! Doomed, I tell you, because he thinks love and marriage is work. Of course two years later it seems that all that talk was correct as the marriage of this Hollywood power couple seems to be over.

Go figure!

Yet, based on my own personal experience, I still sit on the Love and Marriage is Work Team because it is. It’s sometimes easy-peasy, lemon squeeze-y and it is sometimes blood, sweat and tears work because it can be frustrating, exhausting, scary and thrilling all at the same time. Better or worse, it’s messy.

And I was totally going to talk all about that messiness that marriage is when shit happened, as it often does, which made me realize that marital love isn’t the only kind of messy love in my life. Friends…family…so many different individuals that stir up the dust and debris all around us and making a general mess of everything in our lives and relationships….a big, fat mess…a mess that SOMEONE will have to clean up…a mess that is part of our love for each other.

UGH!

I hate messes and chaos and dust and debris and, especially, cleaning up messes and chaos and dust and debris. Always have. Always will. But I do love love and I love those in my life whom I hold dear…my friends, my family, my darling husband. I love them all in spite of all the messiness that is loving them. I hope that they feel the same.

It’s work sometimes, all the messy love in my life.

Worth it though.

Thank goodness I can celebrate that…today and every day.

not together, celebrating

Right after dropping Daniel off at school, I received a phone call from this beauty.

Happy anniversary, Mommy!

Awe! She remembered! Then again, how could she not since she crashed our anniversary party nineteen years ago today. Of course I wished her a very happy birthday because she remains my baby, my love, my heart, my joy…something that I have called her since the day that she was born.

So we are celebrating.

Celebrating that 32 years ago when this guy said let’s get married, I said okay. Even more so, given our misadventures that happened this past February, we are celebrating the fact that we get to celebrate 32 years together. Oh, and we get to celebrate the fact that time does not stand still as our darling daughter #4, Jodie Grace Wynonna, is now 19 years old!

Just not together today…for the first time…ever.

Weird.

I guess she is preparing me for when she moves to Arizona.

a dining oasis

Married now for decades…decades…that sounds like a really long time, doesn’t it? Well, yes, 31 years and more is a long time to love and be loved and be stuck together like the old married folk that Bill and I are.

So what about Valentine’s Day?

Valentine’s Day?

Really?

Truthfully, as an old married lady, I haven’t thought too much about it as Love Day was approaching. But my darling husband, on the other hand, was thinking about it a lot. Again, just when I think I know him and can predict almost anything about him he goes and does something like this.

I hate when he does that.

I love when he does that.

He does too because, yes, he loves catching me off guard.

So let’s get dressed up and go somewhere really nice for a Valentine’s dinner?

Around here?

Well, there is an oasis?

An oasis?

Yes, an oasis in the dining desert that is Manteca. It says so right here in Yelp.

So it does. Well, okay then. It’s a date.

And we waited this week for date night to finally arrive.

Ah, the romance of anticipation!

And…

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes, indeed Ernie’s Fine Foods & Spirits truly is an oasis in the desert that is Manteca’s dining offerings of endless fast food restaurants, taquerias and chain restaurants.

The appetizers, the 5 onions soup, the grilled to perfection steaks, the lobster, the spirits, the wine, the service, the ambiance all perfection.

But Bill impeccably dressed in his grey suit and me in a jersey column dress were definitely overdressed because this is Manteca.

Still, good food, good drink, great uninterrupted conversation…this was good. This was very good. My darling husband definitely hit this one out of the park.

We shall be back, Ernie’s!

all the curves, the edges, all the perfect imperfections

Mr. and Mrs. today for 11,323 days…271,752 hours, 16,305,120 minutes, 978,307,120 minutes.

Don’t worry. I checked my math because yes, my math skills

That’s a pretty long time to be together and yes, through so many curves, way too many edges and a few perfect imperfections. But we were together. Here’s to more and more adventures together always with awesome hair.

Happy 31st anniversary, dear, darling husband of mine. The fact that you want to take me out for sushi tonight tells me that you love me so…still.

And I you too.

All of me.

All of you.