tell me again raising teen boys is so much easier

Because Mommy needed a lot of cheering up tonight because the furnace currently doesn’t work and it’s COLD here under The Big Top and she is mourning the end of what she thought was a wonderful friendship over the stupid of the last week and the stubborn rage of the offended party and aggravating bullshit of an afternoon conference call today…and this ridiculously stupid run-on sentence, my darling husband and favorite son took me out tonight for margaritas and Mexican food…good, authentic Mexican food. And just as I was finishing the first margarita, Daniel started to choke on the massive, huge, big-as-his-head burrito…like really choking.

OMG, he’s choking!

Always scary. Even scarier when the person choking has a paralyzed vocal cord

As Bill reaches over to help, Daniel is able to cough up the offending piece of food blocking his airway.

I’m okay! I’m okay!

Holding up his hand towards both of us, he makes it clear that he is okay.

He is okay…except for the fear in his eyes as he fights back crying.

Are you sure you’re okay, son?, I implore with the Mom-is-worried-and-scared-and-wants-to-hug-right-now tone.

He tries to look up as he barely whispers that he is okay but he can’t because then he really will lose his shit here in the restaurant.

Come on, Son. Let’s go shoot some pool. Bill pats him on the shoulder as they rise to head to the bar side of the restaurant where the pool table is. Mom can order another margarita while we play a game.

And today’s lesson: Sometimes Mom being concerned mom can only make it worse when you are a teenaged boy. Just let Dad  be dad and shoot some pool…as guys do…I guess.

So noted. I’ve got so much more to learn, I imagine.

this week, another photo dump

When you have literally so much, perhaps too much, to say, it’s probably best to just dump photos and maybe some words too…but not too many.

You are working the night of that first Presidential Debate you literally find yourself praying that it won’t be on the TV in the break room because you literally can not drink when you are at work and honest to goodness it just might be the only way one can get through this scary clusterfuck you imagine. But just in case, you bring an appropriate substitute because Skittles are indeed a delicious candy. Every one else thought so too as we discovered that they do pair well with the Food Network.

Better to watch it the next day with your son; who you discover has very strong, thoughtful opinions on this election and who he would vote for. That would be the moment when you suddenly realize that he will be voting IN FOUR YEARS!!!! So I will throw it out there and ask everyone to vote, vote carefully. Don’t fuck this up so that in four years there won’t be an America for him to live in and vote.

Until then…

He is typically your typical teenager.

Did you really just take my picture, Mom?

Yes.

:::eye roll:::

Typical.

A good visit with his endocrinologist. Definitely time to take a selfie.

Also typical.

He’s growing y’all! Growing in a bigly way.

:::eye roll:::

and just when we imagine we know everything

As my darling 4th daughter, Jodie, turned 20 this year, I was fairly confident that we have this parenting teenagers down. After all, ask any of our family, friends, acquaintances, people we pass shopping at Target and they will GO OUT OF THERE WAY TO TELL YOU HOW PAINFULLY DIFFICULT IT IS TO RAISE TEENAGE GIRLS!

No, really.

‘They have. Literally any and every chance that came along.

And they have been right…well, sometimes.

My darling husband and I have four amazing daughters, who as teenagers challenged us in ways that made us certain that our mothers’ curses upon us were very real…and in ways that we could have never, ever imagined. Raising teenagers in the brave new world of social media? Did we really see that coming?

But we survived.

We did not die.

None of us.

And now, with four young adult women making their way in this world in their own way, we have imagined that we might actually know what we are doing raising teenagers because pseudo-experts told us girls are hard and boys are easy.

Heh!

All y’all know nothing!

Nothing!

Believe me.

But one thing, as parents of teenagers, remains true still. We are really, really good at embarrassing our adolescent children.

 

Taking your teenaged son to a Styx Tribute Band concert might seem to be a perfect way to provoke the best of eye rolls and more and because of all the eye rolls, heavy sighs and never mind, Mom. 

This should be easy. One would think so, but no. Although joking about wearing an old Styx concert tee might be too meta did result in a half eye roll coupled with a really, Mom.

You’re going to write about this, aren’t you, Mom?

Well, maybe.

Fine. Make sure they know I had fun, because I did.

Of course.

:::he rolls his eyes:::

He did have fun hanging out with Mom, Dad and all those old people.

Yeah, he is also suddenly so much taller!!!

He’s rolling his eyes again right now.

it’s in his dna

With adolescence comes the need to figure out yourself…who you are…do you fit in. Normal. Completely normal. Yes, even for the most well adjusted child raised with all the love. Perfectly normal.

And so we enter this phase of this favorite son’s life which leads to some very interesting conversations lately. Some answers are easy thanks to his own NICU records mom was privy to. Some, but not all. Why is his brown hair so fine and curly and so damn unruly? Will he go bald like Dad? His biological mother was Russian but what about his biological father? He looks in the mirror and although he knows he is our son and his sisters’ brother, he is not certain where the face that looks back at him comes from. He wants answers and he is not willing to wait four more years to see if he can get those answers; because odds are high he likely won’t get those questions answered by the ones who made him.

Answers to some questions are here, in his DNA. Answers he will likely discover in a couple of months. Answers that with his mom and his dad, he looks forward to discovering.

And you thought the sex talk with kids was hard.

When he looks in the mirror, we want our son to know himself. It’s hard to face the world when you don’t know where your face came from.—Adoptive Parent