I’m tired

I worked the last couple nights; so one would assume that I am tired right about now. I am. I am tired; but not because of Vampira night shift nurse problems that is resetting my body clock back to daytime life.


I’m tired because so many other reasons.

  • I’m tired of the bullshit that is life right now where my kids must keep tucked into the back of their minds that they aren’t really safe in places like their school campuses or movie theaters or churches or shopping malls or night clubs.
  • I’m tired that they must accept the reality that mass shootings happen and, eventually, it will be the city where they live’s turn…because apparently we now take turns with this.
  • I’m tired of thoughts and prayers being our call to action every. damn. time. Thoughts and prayers are good. The victims of these horrific acts of violence do need our thoughts and prayers but so much more than thoughts and prayers are needed. After our pauses for moments of silence, we need to take action. Shout it out if we have to. No, we are not being disrespectful of the dead and their mourning loved ones. What is disrespectful is to stop and pray, say amen, shake our heads over the “godless world we live in” and move on to the next task at hand like “what’s for lunch?” We need to do much more than pray.
  • I’m tired of people’s need to be right. One can no longer agree to disagree. Opinions and feelings over something like a call to action beyond thoughts and prayers for victims of mass shootings is met with broad strokes that assume much too much of a person’s values, thought processes and oh so sheltered life. To argue back is met with apples and oranges arguments or taunts and jeers. A difference of opinion is yesterday’s black. Conform! We all must conform. I don’t want to conform. “Democracy in a nation of 300 million can be noisy and messy and complicated. We have our own opinions. Each of us has deeply held beliefs. And when we go through tough times, when we make big decisions as a country, it necessarily stirs passions, stirs up controversy.That won’t change…and it shouldn’t These arguments we have are a mark of our liberty. We can never forget that as we speak people in distant nations are risking their lives right now just for a chance to argue about the issues that matter, the chance to cast their ballots.”
    We don’t have to agree and that’s fundamentally okay as we were created to be unique individuals. But hurray for noise, the mess and the complications that has been US for 240 years. At least that’s how I see it!” ~ President Barack Obama
  • In the words of the super amazing Amy “Just a reminder, guys, that as the gun debate heats up, most of us gals (especially the ones from the south and west) don’t need you to mansplain weaponry to us.
    So if your first comment when jumping into a debate is to school us little ol’ prissies on the differences between types of guns, or on how magazines or ammo works, maybe just sit back, take a sip of your scotch, and zip it for a bit. We’ll work it out without you in due time, so thanks but no thanks.”
    Guys, I promise you that just because I have a problem with this god-given right to arms ourselves with as much mass killing weaponry that we should be able to purchase  as humanly possible because it is the blessed Second Amendment Right y’all, I am NOT here to take away all of your guns! I might lean a little to the pacifist side but it is not because I have never seen a gun or touched a gun or fired a gun or cleaned a gun. You dumb fool, you don’t need to pat me on the head and explain these things to me so that I will understand that guns don’t kill people…people kill, fertilizer bombs kill, cars kill, box cutters kill, knives kill, alligators kill…and I bet Build-A-Bear teddy bears can kill too because smothering.
    Don’t explain this to me. I’m tired of it!
  • And speaking of alligators, I’m tired of the sanctimommies and daddies and people who have never had children sitting back sipping their green tea whilst judging others on what has to be the worst days of their lives ever.
    Just don’t.
    I know it is so much more easy to do it because, hurray interwebs and all the social media. But don’t.
    Do you know how much of an asshole you come off as when you do it? Trust me, while trying to survive a parent’s worst nightmare, a parent is doing a good enough job of eviscerating theirselves all on their very own, thank you very much.

So yeah, I’m tired. Aren’t you glad that you asked how am I right now? Yeah, I’m tired.

I basically can’t live without

You know you did very well in gifting when your child shares with her nearly 10K followers on her business Instagram account  that which you gifted her.

Seriously, this bag is pretty awesome. All the more awesome is her Pinterest board because she really is hard to shop for sometimes. Of course, she gets it from her mama! But this last year I gifted her well. Thank you Pinterest and Hollie pinning all the things.

I just might need a bag like this because, like my darling daughter, and pretty much anyone, there is absolutely a bunch of shit I basically can’t live without.

  1. like my favorite face wash because the oil slick that is my face keeps waiting for the dry, flaky, crepe-y skin that is all part of the joy that is menopause. Sure it might feel like a certain body fluid, as someone I know compared it to, but it works very well for me…and that is all that matters.
  2. Sunscreen! All the sunscreen because ginger girl problems are real.
  3. This lip balm because more sunscreen and because I am always licking my lips so why bother with heavy lip color?
  4. My latest favorite Acoustic Chill playlist on Spotify because the drive to work is too stupid and too real

  5. My old, well-worn, gray sweater I got from Costco years ago.
  6. Eyeglass cleaner because the glasses I wear every waking moment are always smudged and dirty and I just might be obsessed about cleaning those glasses of mine.
  7. This whiteboard calendar which just might be ridiculous if I were to carry it in a bag.

    Then again, I am not the only one living under The Big Top who basically can not live without it which is why everything and everyone on the calendar is color coded.
  8. My blackout curtains because I am Vampira, the night shift nurse.
  9. Coffee, nectar of all the nurses.
  10. My Amazon Prime account
  11. Dental floss. I blame my dentist for lecturing me about gum disease while deep cleaning for what has become an addiction.
  12. My cameras…Canon 60D and iPhone because I am indeed the Mamarazzi
  13. My favorite pen…don’t ask to borrow it…ever.
  14. My Moleskine notebook
  15. a bottle of Coke Zero, just one, for my lunch break at work
  16. My ASU ball cap to hide the epic bedhead when I take my son to school in the morning. Not that my son’s principal would ever call me out for the bedhead or the pajama pants I might be wearing (if I’m not wearing scrubs) because she isn’t nearly as judge-y as Kate Chisholm and because at least I am wearing a bra. There’s that!
  17. My Caffeine and Kilos ball cap for when I can’t find my ASU cap.
  18. A good bra.
  19. My water bottle. I blame Jodie and my membranes rupturing at 26 weeks while pregnant with her for my ALWAYS carrying a water bottle and ALWAYS drinking all the water.
  20. A Sharpie marker…you never know when you need to mark something permanently.
  21. Altoids, you are very welcome Day Shift!
  22. My Asics
  23. My favorite Scünci hair ties…they are discontinued which would explain why I am hoarding them.
  24. My favorite hair clip because thick hair can be a problem, even thinning, menopausal, thick hair. But hurray for the fact that my hair is long enough 20 months after my latest pixie cut to twist up into an undo with my favorite hair clip…it’s the little things that make me happiest, really.
  25. Scarves…I have no idea how many I have. That might be a problem. But who cares because I basically can’t live without them.

What shit that you basically can’t live without would you stuff that duffel bag with.


Fall Break has ended. Arizona adventure complete, home before this craziness happened (thank goodness) and coming down from a nursing conference high it’s time to return to work.



Oh hi life sized cardboard Rob Lowe lurking in a dark hallway. You’re not creepy at all standing right there.

And lurking in and around the corridors in the dark of night shift.

Your eyes kind of follow as I walk past you at 0330. That’s not creepy at all.

I know you’re coming to the Valley for a very good reason sharing stories that you only tell your good friends…and since you’re going to be sharing at The Gallo Center this Thursday, we must be your good friends. But must you be so creepy lurking in the hallways here?

Oh well.

I’m working this Thursday night. Sorry Rob.

I guess we will have to settle for this selfie together.

Beyoncé’s status secured

How was your day, Mom?

He asks me that every day as he climbs into the car at the end of the school day. He cares, he really cares that son of mine.

After a long busy 12 hour night shift in the NICU, the mad drive home in go-to-work rush hour traffic followed by staying awake for just a couple hours more in order to take him to school and then enjoying the decadent pleasure of a 2 hour nap before picking him up from school, I can tell him with all the confidence that my day so far is pretty good. In fact, I tell him that it is great because I woke up like this.

I don’t get it, Mom.

Epic bed head, no makeup…I’m flawless, son.

I still don’t get it.

Fair warning to Queen Bey, Blue Ivy will someday soon be a teenager and she just might not see you as flawless anymore as our teenaged children often do. Enjoy these times now, Bey.

For now I am humbled and Beyoncé is indeed flawless.